Ask A Guy: How Do You Flirt Through Texting?

Dear Ethan,

I’ll make this simple: How do you flirt with a guy through texting?

Ah, I remember it like it was just yesterday: a time when romancing a lady was just a beeper code away (143 for “I love you”; 8008135 for “boobies”). Thankfully, today’s technology allows us to transmit full sentences – with actual letters! – to our prospective sweethearts. And while I don’t recommend relying solely on this form of communication to woo the dude of your dreams, there are some ways of doing it that are better than others.

First and foremost, as I described in a previous post, the less serious your relationship is (if you’re even in a relationship yet), generally the fewer texts you want to send. I know it can be painful to hold back, but trust me: less is always more. He won’t forget about you if you take an extra hour to respond or allow him to have the last word – it’ll only draw him in!

Less is also more in terms of what to text. Keeping your messages short and even a little mysterious will keep him guessing and wanting to hear from you again. Explicit sexual flirtations are also usually a no-no – you might get a quick rise out of him, but if he doesn’t get bored of those “sexts,” he’ll at least likely rule out a serious relationship. And I’d suggest that you never, ever send provocative photos via text. Even if you trust that he won’t ever show them to anyone, you never know if those photos could someday land in the wrong hands (just ask Olivia Munn).

Ultimately, texts are one-dimensional nuggets that often don’t properly convey tone (such as sarcasm, for example). Or worse, didja ever send a sexy text to your boyfriend “Davey” that accidentally ended up in your Uncle “David’s” inbox? When you flirt in person or over the phone instead, there can be no misinterpretation. (Learn how to do so in my post HERE).

But hey, I understand the desire — or even the need — to text once in awhile. Heck, I still flirt with my fiancée over text! So at the very least, remember this: if you must text, do so sparingly, and thoughtfully!

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. When not touring the country, Ethan gives weekly advice in the video series “Dude Seriously?”. For more on Ethan, visit


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Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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  • Brumilda

    A friend of mine hooked me up with her friends brother, so we txted each other for a while, the thing is he never txt me i always do the txting, and because we are distant from eachother i just ended it with him, he never txted me back nothing?