12 Things Only A Hypochondriac Will Understand

Here’s a little fact about me that I am pretty embarrassed about: I am kind of a hypochondriac. I’m not so bad where I can’t function in every day life, but I am bad enough that my anxieties over getting sick have led me into some very humiliating experiences.

For example: once when I was on vacation, I woke up with a bad sore throat that left me feeling like there was a lump stuck in there. Instead of rationally thinking it was swollen glands, I convinced myself that a spider had crawled down my throat while I was sleeping, and was stuck there. I started crying so much I had to tell the friends I was with, and they STILL will not let me live it down years later. I do this sort of thing too much. 

Me, always.

Me, always.

As funny as it may sound, it’s really the opposite of that. All of the anxiety I have about getting sick sometimes makes me feel like my brain is going to explode. I am particularly afraid of throwing up for some reason (a fear called emetophobia, Google it if you want an accurate description of my life). This fear gives me so many food anxieties that I am now at the point where I cannot enjoy a meal without worrying that I’m going to get sick later on.

One of the worst things about being a hypochondriac is that, if you’re not one, you simply don’t understand what it’s like. No one in my life understands my anxieties, and it’s very frustrating for me. Since I know I can’t be the only one out there, here are 12 things only a hypochondriac will understand. 


When a close friend or family member gets sick, you don’t want to be anywhere near them. 

Stephen Colbert telling you to go away

Then they get insulted, even though you tell them not to take it personally, and you end up feeling like a jerk.


When a friend mentions they feel a little funny, you immediately have to ask a thousand questions on exactly what they feel so you can figure out if they’re getting sick or not. 


And they inevitably look at you like you’re insane and get annoyed at you for bugging them, but, YOU CAN’T HELP IT.


Whenever you get sick with anything, you start wondering what you might actually have, and if you’ll have to be hospitalized.


And when you tell people your fears, they just roll their eyes.


The embarrassment you feel after you let your hypochondria get the best of you. 


Once, I got a bug bite, convinced myself it was a spider bite, convinced myself I was having an allergic reaction and my throat was closing, and ended up in an NYC hospital for hours with a co-worker I barely knew while I cried. Waste of money, time, and dignity.


When you hear about an illness “going around,” you immediately feel the urge to lock yourself in your room until it’s over. 


Remember when the Swine Flu was everywhere? I literally didn’t do certain things because I was convinced I was going to catch it.


Thinking about the amount of germs in a bathroom alone makes your head spin so much you want to throw up. 


How is anyone still alive?!?!


When you start worrying that you might get sick, everyone close to you gets annoyed at you.


Everyone tells you you’re being ridiculous, but that literally never makes you feel better… it just makes you feel silly.


Whenever you have a period of time where you get a lot of headaches, you wonder if you might have a tumor.


Maybe you should visit the neurologist just in case…


A bad stomach ache isn’t just that… it could mean your appendix needs to be taken out. 


Should you go to the emergency room?


You have gone to more specialists than your grandma has because you second guess everyone. 


You just want to make sure there’s nothing seriously wrong.


But going to the doctor still makes you nervous because, germs. 

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People constantly make fun of you for your fears, and they rarely take you seriously. 


They don’t understand that even though you wish you could stop feeling that way, you can’t :(


Are you a hypochondriac? Do you ever worry about getting sick? Do you deal with a different kind of anxiety? Tell me in the comments.


My Fear of Spiders Is Ruining My Life

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    Always been obsessed with the feeling my throat is going to swell shut and cant breath,was terrible when younger,I went to Dr after dr for years and numerous times to er and nothing was ever found. I do have thyroid issues which take meds for. Here I am 51 yrs old and now obsessed with the feeling my neck and throat swelling and feeling tight,it seems so real its ruining my life.Also always worried sick that I have underlying heath issues and that im going to die.If im on antibiodics always fear im allergic to them even tho been prescribed this med in past and never had an issue. My health drives me crazy and my family as well cause im in constant fear.So alot of times I say nothing and my mine is racing with worry while everyone else is enjoying life. And if someone dies it just increases my fears that its going to happen to me.Always thinking I need to go to er or doctor but yet don’t want to cause while im there it goes away or after ive been seen it goes away. This is an awful thing to live with when it all seems so real.

  • Megan

    I’m pretty much of a hypochondriac.

  • jake

    Hey, this relates to me so much. Only tonight have I come across hypochondriasis. I cant believe how accurate it is. Any little thing could be something bigger! Everyone thinks I’m insane. I cant help but think like this. I don’t really know what to do. I am an depressive hypochondriac and cant stop the intrusive thoughts. I woke up this morning with a cough, my concerns are a direct link to the guilt I feel about smoking. So a cough is the worst thing in the world. I’m healthy despite believing differently. Everyone looks at me like I’m insane.

  • Nagesh

    Tam- the sinus infection is doing MUCH betetr thank you. I know you’re busy so don’t worry hun. ;)Eliza- my oldest just does music on his…it’s the girlchild I have to worry about. lolAndrew- No pig races, no deep fried anything, did make it, left quite soggy.Rayne- I agree with you, I can feel the damn thing at times pushing against something in my neck and it hurts but nobody ever bothered to call me with the results. Nice. Jerks.Nicole- hi and thanks girl. :)

  • lena

    Sorry, I don’t know why my message got cut off. Anyway, I noticed that my mole on my chest had gotten bigger, and I stressed out about it. I started looking stuff up, and it said that a sign of melanoma is itchiness. Of course, I started to get itchy. I’m getting a few moles removed at the Derm because they are A-typical. Lately I’ve been noticing new freckles and moles and have been constantly obsessing over them. I looked it up and sun exposure does that but I’m still not convinced, especially because I found another one on my back today. I have a burning sensation in my back because I keep scratching it, thinking that it’s skin cancer. I’m thirteen and this has consumed my life.

  • lena

    I’m a hypochondriac and have been since I was around nine. When I was younger, my symptoms were smaller and were less serious, but now everything leads to death. It used to be that the symptoms caused my hypochondria but now it’s that the hypochondria causes my symptoms. It’s summer right now and I’ve been getting some sun. I am covered in moles and normally don’t worry about it but last week, I

  • Amelia

    I have the exact same, basically, not so much with cold and stuff but I have emetophobia, nobody ever understands why I avoid them when they have a stomach bug or run away when their sick. I get panic attacks and can’t sleep whenever someone in my house throws up and I don’t go into a room where someone has been sick for like a month afterwards. I think it’s partially because I was really sick all the time when I was little, and it’s actually the worst possible experience I can have, and I’m still sick a lot because I’m allergic to gluten. I thought nobody much else got this but I see some people in the comments can relate to me :)

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  • Kath

    I enjoy life ao much that I dońt want to die and I’m scared of all illness… I get scared everytime I have a symptom … I imagine the worse…

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  • Shelli

    I’m such a hypochondriac. It ended up being growing pains (I think) but I convinced myself I had bone cancer and another time when I was younger I had convinced myself I was pregnant (even though there was no possible way). And another time my sister got lice at school and I flipped out and wouldn’t be near her for a week. I always convince myself I’m dying or that I’m going to die.

  • Celeste

    I have this huge fear of throw up. like whenever someone says there stomach hurts i run out of the room and dont go anywhere near them. if someone coughs my stomach will jump and i will start shaking. if someone DOES throw up, i start shaking and crying so hard i cant even stand, AND NO ONE TAKES ME SERIOUSLY.

  • Lia

    I have the biggest fear of throw up! I’ve had it for as long as I can remember and even used to sleep with a bowl next to my bed. I get so anxious when I get a stomach ache because I’m scared I’ll throw up which only makes it worse! And if anyone says they don’t feel well or have a stomach ache I need to get away from them fast.

  • Shelly

    I can relate so much to this… not really with the spider bites and a few other things but i always thought i had some fear with being sick and i didnt know what that was and now i know haha I cannot handle throw up like if someone says they feel funny im like “please go over there and stop breathing your dirty breath on me” so amennn to this post

    • Ebby

      You are such a badass. I usaluly try to accept things as they come and not dwell on the negative side of a situation but if I found out my GI tract was getting a major makeover, I think just THAT thought would have me in vom town for days! I started following your blog after the RW feature with the picture heard round the world and I love it so much. I’m happy you have gotten answers and will be praying for the best!!! Also, my mom is an ICU nurse and I feel like I’ve memorized the lists of questions I’m supposed to ask when I visit this or that doctor. Moms are the bomb dot com, no?

  • Nina

    Okay so yes i am suuuch this, and it sucks cause if I have anything weird going on with me, i think i’m dying haha…and I can’t go to places like the mountains with people thinking of the horror movies of the scary things that could happen..etc.. ahha :(

  • Ashy

    OMG, I have the biggest fear of throw up too. When someone mentions it I get shaky ando once last year I was invited to a cruise and I declined because of my thoughts about throwing up and kids throwing up and ahh. I also kind of imagine the smell when I’m walking through the halls at school and think someone is sick.

    People don’t understand it actually terrifies me so my friends and family try to fake situations. :/

  • YuiGyaruRamen

    Amen to this blog post. I’m exactly like this. -_- My parents and sisters gave up on me a loooong time ago. xD

  • Allison

    I used to be a hypochondriac in middle school (2006-2008) And my mom had to take me to the doctor 2 times a week. I only went to school on Mondays & Thursdays.
    It was so crazy, that my doctor told me she couldn’t keep seeing me on a regular basis and I needed to be in school. :(