12 Things Only A Hypochondriac Will Understand

Here’s a little fact about me that I am pretty embarrassed about: I am kind of a hypochondriac. I’m not so bad where I can’t function in every day life, but I am bad enough that my anxieties over getting sick have led me into some very humiliating experiences.

For example: once when I was on vacation, I woke up with a bad sore throat that left me feeling like there was a lump stuck in there. Instead of rationally thinking it was swollen glands, I convinced myself that a spider had crawled down my throat while I was sleeping, and was stuck there. I started crying so much I had to tell the friends I was with, and they STILL will not let me live it down years later. I do this sort of thing too much. 

Me, always.

Me, always.

As funny as it may sound, it’s really the opposite of that. All of the anxiety I have about getting sick sometimes makes me feel like my brain is going to explode. I am particularly afraid of throwing up for some reason (a fear called emetophobia, Google it if you want an accurate description of my life). This fear gives me so many food anxieties that I am now at the point where I cannot enjoy a meal without worrying that I’m going to get sick later on.

One of the worst things about being a hypochondriac is that, if you’re not one, you simply don’t understand what it’s like. No one in my life understands my anxieties, and it’s very frustrating for me. Since I know I can’t be the only one out there, here are 12 things only a hypochondriac will understand. 


When a close friend or family member gets sick, you don’t want to be anywhere near them. 

Stephen Colbert telling you to go away

Then they get insulted, even though you tell them not to take it personally, and you end up feeling like a jerk.


When a friend mentions they feel a little funny, you immediately have to ask a thousand questions on exactly what they feel so you can figure out if they’re getting sick or not. 


And they inevitably look at you like you’re insane and get annoyed at you for bugging them, but, YOU CAN’T HELP IT.


Whenever you get sick with anything, you start wondering what you might actually have, and if you’ll have to be hospitalized.


And when you tell people your fears, they just roll their eyes.


The embarrassment you feel after you let your hypochondria get the best of you. 


Once, I got a bug bite, convinced myself it was a spider bite, convinced myself I was having an allergic reaction and my throat was closing, and ended up in an NYC hospital for hours with a co-worker I barely knew while I cried. Waste of money, time, and dignity.


When you hear about an illness “going around,” you immediately feel the urge to lock yourself in your room until it’s over. 


Remember when the Swine Flu was everywhere? I literally didn’t do certain things because I was convinced I was going to catch it.


Thinking about the amount of germs in a bathroom alone makes your head spin so much you want to throw up. 


How is anyone still alive?!?!


When you start worrying that you might get sick, everyone close to you gets annoyed at you.


Everyone tells you you’re being ridiculous, but that literally never makes you feel better… it just makes you feel silly.


Whenever you have a period of time where you get a lot of headaches, you wonder if you might have a tumor.


Maybe you should visit the neurologist just in case…


A bad stomach ache isn’t just that… it could mean your appendix needs to be taken out. 


Should you go to the emergency room?


You have gone to more specialists than your grandma has because you second guess everyone. 


You just want to make sure there’s nothing seriously wrong.


But going to the doctor still makes you nervous because, germs. 

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People constantly make fun of you for your fears, and they rarely take you seriously. 


They don’t understand that even though you wish you could stop feeling that way, you can’t 🙁


Are you a hypochondriac? Do you ever worry about getting sick? Do you deal with a different kind of anxiety? Tell me in the comments.


My Fear of Spiders Is Ruining My Life

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  • Ashton

    I am constantly being harassed by my friends and family for being a hypchondriac… but Everytime I thnk something is wrong with me, i’m always right. is it REALLY hypochondria if you’re always right?!