But does not wanting a boyfriend mean you’re a lesbian? That’s what you’re talking about on the message boards this week. Let’s see what y’all had to say:
“I’m only 14 and most of my family at this age had had several boyfriends (I’ve never had a bf). My cousins that are my age and younger think I’m a lesbian, which I’m not. My mom is basically pressuring me to date by introducing me to all her friends’ sons and any teen boy she sees. HELP ME! Do I need to sit down and talk to my mom and if I do what should I say?”
“Sitting down with your mom could be a good idea. It would ease up the pressure a bit on you. Just simply tell her you do not want to date yet and if she could stop inferring you do, that it would be nice. You will be ready when you are ready. No need to rush things! Hopefully she will be the mother and understand.”
“Your mom should understand that you’re not ready. You’re only 14, you don’t even need a boyfriend! I had my first boyfriend when I was 20 and my friends secretly thought I was a lesbian for years and years, I just don’t understand why people have to put their noses in other peoples business all the time! So much prejudgement, it makes me sick.”
“If it’s too much of a bother you could always request one of your male friends to be your ‘fake’ boyfriend… or even some guy online. It’s really none of their business, but if they are bothering you that much then there’s not really a problem in lying to them. One of my guy friends was my fake ‘Facebook’ boyfriend for a while for similar purposes. He’d even ‘flirt’ with me.”
Okay we definitely don’t need to go and create fake boyfriends. That’s an extreme and messy way to handle this situation. You for sure need to sit down with those who are pressuring you and let them know that you’re not ready to date. That’s it.
Not wanting a boyfriend does not mean you’re a lesbian. And being called a lesbian shouldn’t be some horrible thing anyway because it’s not. Not wanting a boyfriend just means that you don’t want a relationship and want to focus on other aspects of your life right now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and you should never feel badly about that.
I understand that the pressure to have a boyfriend when you don’t want one is annoying. You really need to be direct and explain that you don’t want to date. Tell the people who are bothering you that when you are ready, you’ll let them know if you want to be set up.
Have you ever been pressured to date? Have you ever been called a lesbian because you didn’t want a boyfriend? Tell us in the comments!
Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.