I recently started attending a dance class. After my first lesson, my teacher (who is really hot) added me on Facebook. Soon after, he started messaging me. Now we always have these flirty conversations online and he sends me kiss-face smileys all the time. Once he even told me he liked the shorts I was wearing. I’m 15-years-old and I think he’s about 25. Now he wants to meet up to hang out… I think it’s pretty weird, but I like him and he’s cute. I don’t know what to do because I don’t understand what he wants from me. Should I go for it or not? Help please!
Girl. You DEFINITELY should not go for it. I cannot stress that enough right now. This guy is about 10 years older than you. Not only is his flirting with you creepy, weird and shady, it’s also illegal. A 25-year-old man having sex with a 15-year-old girl is considered statutory rape.
I know that getting the attention of an older guy, especially one who is cute and also a figure of authority, is very flattering, but in this situation, it’s just not acceptable. And I know that some people would probably think, “25 isn’t even that old! It’s not a big deal!” but it IS a big deal. I also know that some people would say that a 10 year age difference isn’t a big deal when it comes to love – and, yes, that’s true. It wouldn’t be a big deal if you were of legal age and a relationship between you two wasn’t considered illegal. But at the moment, it would be, so it’s not okay.
Here’s the thing: this guy is older than you, and so he knows that he is in a position to take advantage of you. He most likely sees you as a young, innocent target. He probably considers this pretty easy. The honest truth is that he’s being manipulative: he is in a position of power here and he should not be using that to try to flirt or hook up with you. What he’s doing is disgusting. He knows that he’s doing the wrong thing, but he’s doing it anyway.
There are a few other things to think about. At 25-years-old, this guy should know how to try to talk to a girl he is seriously interested in… and that way isn’t by flirting with you through Facebook messages. He has the opportunity to do this in person, so why isn’t he? I’m guessing it’s because he knows he’ll get in trouble if anyone sees him doing that and it’s also a sign he’s just looking to hook up.
That also makes me wonder if he’s doing this to other girls in your class. If he acts normally around you in person, it could be because he’s flirting with other girls as well and doesn’t want anyone to find out what he’s doing. Either way, he’s being secretive and shady and it’s not cool.
What I’m basically trying to say is this: stop talking to this guy through Facebook. Stop flirting with him. He’s your teacher and the fact that he’s trying to be anything else means he’s abusing his position. He can get fired for flirting with you and if anything sexual happened between you two, he could get arrested. It sounds like he is trying to take advantage of you and this situation, and that is NOT someone you want to be involved with. If a few years pass and you’re both still interested, go for it. But as of right now, take my word for it: this guy is a creep and he’s not someone you want to date.
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