This week on the message boards, y’all are talking about what to do if your boyfriend or partner is unhappy in bed and says you’re bad at sex. How would you handle that?
Let’s see what y’all had to say:
“Over Thanksgiving break I spent a lot of time with my guy. We’ve only had sex 3 times total, and I’ve had sex about 5 times all together in my life, so I’m not really experienced or good yet. Well, during sex over the weekend, he was being pretty rough and I felt like he was annoyed because he took a while to get it in and then it wouldn’t stay in. He was also switching positions a lot, and it was kind of overwhelming. Then he stops and says ‘You are so stiff’ and basically says it’s never enjoyable. I don’t know what to do. I don’t really enjoy sex. For some reason penetration just doesn’t do it for me. But I just feel awful. I’m not sure how to address it.”
“He needs to try and please you first so then you are more “ready” for him. He may know all these fancy positions, but he has no idea what he is doing if he hasn’t figured that out. Clitoral stimulation or a combination are the only things most girls can orgasm from. I think y’all need to slow down and you relax and build more tension before actually having sex his way.”
“Practice makes perfect, and I am still practicing. But my BF is considerate, and we talk it through. Your BF only thinks of himself. Either train him better or trade him in.”
“You need to have a chat with him and explain to him that you’re not finding it enjoyable because he’s being too rough and not taking your needs into consideration. It will only work if he stops being so selfish hun! It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong, he’s just not doing anything right!”
“You need to sit him down and be honest. Ask him what he likes,and what he wants you to do. Have him take control in bed. Then, do the same, but instead you talk about what you like and you take control. Be honest. You said you felt overwhelmed that he kept switching positions. Speak up! Tell him what he’s doing that makes you uncomfortable, even if you are in bed.”
Oof. First of all, if someone ever straight up told me I was terrible at sex, I would be super mad. That’s not encouraging! If you want something different in bed, then ask for it. But don’t go insulting someone you’re sleeping with, you know? That’s not the kind of person I want to roll around in the sheets with.
One of the most important things when it comes to your sex life is communication. If you’re not talking, it’s not going to be that great. You need to communicate with your partner. Talk about what you do and don’t like, and get to know their preferences too. Having great sex is about learning each other’s likes and dislikes. Once you do that, things will get better.
Vocalize to your partner that telling you you’re bad at sex isn’t going to make you better. You also need to vocalize that he isn’t being attentive to your needs and is being to rough with you. And if he doesn’t want to pay attention to your needs, I’d tell him to hit the road. Your partner needs to respect what you do and don’t want in bed just as much as you need to respect what they do and don’t want.
Have you ever been told you’re bad at sex? How did you react? Tell us in the comments!
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