Whenever I think of urban legends, I think of this one story I heard when I was younger that proceeded to haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe you’ve heard of it: the story is usually called a variation of “Humans Can Lick, Too” and it’s been passed around sleepovers and parties for what feels like forever.
Here’s what happens: a girl gets left alone at home when her parents go out. She’s scared, but they tell her not to worry – if she’s nervous, she can put her hand under her bed and her dog will lick it to comfort her. She does that and for a while, the dog is licking her hand – when she hears a dripping noise in the bathroom. She goes in there to see her dog hanging from the fan, blood dripping down, with the note, “humans can lick, too” scrawled on the mirror in blood.
NIGHTMARES. This story scared me so much I can barely look under beds anymore.
Anyway, that’s an example of an urban legend: a ridiculous, usually horrifying story that is passed around that someone swears happened to someone their friend knows. There are tons of urban legends about sex stuff, just like there are tons of myths about sex. And we’re here to talk about them, because why not? Here are 10 sex myths and urban legends you need to hear now.
Skip this Ad
Green M&M's Make You Horny
For some reason, it's a myth that eating green M&M's makes you horny. This is probably because of a mix of the "sexy" M&M green cartoon character and because chocolate is considered an aphrodisiac. Eat all the green M&M's you want, but I don't think they're going to make you want to have sexy - they're just going to make you feel full.
Rainbow Parties Are A Thing
A few years ago, this story was passed around about rainbow parties being the new popular trend for teens and everyone flipped out like, "OMG what is wrong with the world teenagers AH." Listen up everyone: rainbow parties are not a thing. No one is sure where the idea came from, but teenage girls are not running around wearing crazy lipstick and teenage guys aren't running around with colorful penises. Oh, in case you haven't heard, the legend is that people have rainbow parties, where the girls all wear a different color lipstick, then give oral sex to the guys, and whoever has the most colorful penis wins. I mean, realistically, how would that even work? Seriously. Think about it.
Altoids Make Oral Sex Better
If you've ever read Cosmo, you should know that one of their sex tips they give over and over is to pop a mint before giving oral sex. It's an old tip people have shared for ages, because supposedly Altoids (or any kind of mint) makes oral sex more enjoyable. I think it's safe to say that is not true for everyone out there.
Men Like Sex More Than Women
For some reason, most of the world seems to believe that men enjoy sex way more than women do. Uh, no. This is a stupid myth and it's not true. Women enjoy sex just as men do - and sometimes even more.
Soda After Sex Prevents Pregnancy
Apparently, there are people in this world who believe that if a guy finishes inside of you (no condom), you can wash your vagina out with soda and it will kill the sperm and prevent your pregnancy. This... might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Please don't douche your vagina with soda. That is a HORRIBLE idea.
Gel Bracelets Are Popular
The urban legend about gel bracelets is this: teenagers wear the bracelets and each color represents a different sexual act. Whoever pulled the bracelet off, they did that sexual act with them. This was another ridiculous sex urban legend that everyone freaked out over and you know what? It's most likely completely false. Teenagers are not having gel bracelet sex parties. Sorry.
The Gearshift Girl Story
I've heard this story twice and the first time I heard it, I actually fell for it... until I saw it on the Internet and knew it was false. The gearshift story goes something like this: a dude leaves his horny girlfriend alone in his stick shift car. She gets bored and starts having sex with the gearshift. You know what I mean? There are different variations, but that is always the end result. Look, maybe it's happened once before (people can be into weird stuff), but it definitely hasn't happened to your friend's ex-girlfriend. It's just a stupid story that is passed around everywhere.
You Can Break A Penis During Sex
I've heard this story a few times also - somehow, a dude's penis gets broken during sex. Um, okay. Guys, there is no bone in a penis. How can you break it?
Hot Tubs Kill Sperm and Prevent Pregnancy
When I was in high school, my boyfriend tried to convince me to have unprotected sex in a pool because he swore the chlorine killed sperm. I've also heard people say that hot tubs and jacuzzi kill sperm because the water is so hot. I hate to break it to you guys, but this isn't true (and no, I didn't fall for it when my boyfriend said it). While it is unlikely that you will get pregnant if sperm gets in the water, it's not a guarantee. And the water doesn't protect against STDs!
The Poop In Plastic Bag Story
My boss told me this story once and I SO wish it were true... but unfortunately, it is just an old urban legend. It goes something like this: a woman meets an amazing guy and they go back to his house to have sex. They have a great night and in the morning, he has to go to work, but leaves her in bed to relax and tells her she can shower then leave whenever she wants and he'll call her later. She stays, goes to the bathroom and uh... does some serious business. When she goes to flush, it doesn't work, so she ends up having to scoop out all the poop. She puts it in a plastic bag to throw out and places it on the kitchen counter to grab when she leaves. Well, she gets ready to leave, walks out the door, hears it lock behind her and realizes... her bag of poop is sitting on the kitchen counter.
Sex Education Promotes Sex
A lot of silly people believe that sex education promotes sex because it allows young people with the tools and information they need to have sex. This is actually ridiculous. People are going to have sex whether they know the important information about it or not - so why wouldn't you want them to be informed?
Mountain Dew Lowers Your Sperm Count
I've heard this myth being discussed for years now. People believe that too much Mountain Dew lowers your sperm count and can even be used as a contraceptive. Uh... no. Experts say this is totally untrue.