Contributing writer Kimberly Couzens submitted this post as a Reader Submission for Gurl. We love hearing your stories! If you’d like to submit your writing to Gurl, please send us an email at email@example.com.
When I was younger, I secretly wished for bigger boobs. Whenever I shopped for a dress for a dance, a lot of styles didn’t look right because I didn’t have a big enough chest to “fill out” the top. Strapless styles weren’t an option either: I didn’t have anything to hold them up!
Shopping for bras as an A-cup wasn’t too much fun either. It always seemed like the sexier styles were designed for girls with C and D cups, while the less chesty girls were left to experiment with all kinds of crazy foam padding or gel-filled cups. My A-cup boobs weren’t my biggest insecurity, but I definitely did feel self-conscious about them, especially when other girls complained about being flat-chested or guys openly talked about who was flat and who had the biggest boobs.
And then, after years of wishing for bigger boobs, it finally happened: my wish came true. During my sophomore year of college, I went on birth control pills and my boobs grew significantly. I also gained weight, which I wasn’t wild about, but my boobs were now a C-cup and that was a welcome change for me. And while no guy had ever complained about my lack of boobage before, I felt like in general my new, ahem, developments were popular in the gentleman department.
But I quickly learned that having big boobs wasn’t all I thought it would be. My life didn’t magically change and, actually, I had new problems to deal with because of my boobs. Today, I wear a D-cup and while my chest fills out some clothing styles better than it used to, being bustier comes with its own set of disadvantages. Sure, cleavage can look great in moderation, but there are a lot of situations in which in-your-face boobage feels wrong, like a job interview, family gathering or church. A few months ago, I tried on a strapless dress for a wedding – the same style I used to avoid – and it gave me so much cleavage that it looked totally inappropriate. Sometimes I get dressed quickly in the morning and don’t even realize how much cleavage I’m exposing.
With big boobs, my days of going braless or wearing a string bikini top are behind me. This past summer, I saw a lot of cute bras that looked specifically designed for the er, lesser-endowed crowd to wear under flowy tank tops. Those kinds of styles just won’t work for me. In the past few years, I’ve noticed that now, some of the sexiest bras I see and want to wear aren’t even available in my size.
There are other weird disadvantages to having big boobs that not a lot of people talk about. Cleavage is a black hole for crumbs and movie popcorn and I have yet to find a non-awkward way to reach down my shirt in public. Wearing certain necklaces can be weird too, if the pendant gets stuck in between my boobs or the chain sits on them awkwardly. Cleavage acne is also a thing. Trust me. It’s a pretty annoying thing.
After experiencing both ends of the bra-size spectrum, I’ve realized two things. First, even though guys do love big boobs, they also love small boobs, because most guys would rather touch small boobs than none at all. Basically, guys just like boobs, big or small. Second, it’s so easy to want to opposite of what you have. There’s no perfect or ideal bra size. I’ve been working out a lot lately and my boobs are probably going to shrink. I’ll miss them, but I’m excited to go bra shopping.
How do you feel about your boobs? Do you ever wish they were a different size? What are you insecure about? Tell us in the comments.