Tell me if this situation sounds familiar: as you try to assert your independence, your parents seem to hold on tighter to the old rules and regulations. It can feel like the easier option to just go along with whatever your parents say, but I’m here to tell you that sometimes it’s actually better to fight them on some things.
Now, when I say fights to have with your parents, I don’t mean screaming matches where everyone ends up feeling crappy. That doesn’t really help solve anything. However, there are some fights you should have in the sense that it’s important to discuss things you disagree about – like debate style in school.
What I mean is that sometimes you can’t let parents entirely call the shots because your input and insight is really valuable. It can be uncomfortable to stand up to your parents, but it’s also really important to (respectfully) fight with them in the interest of having them recognize you as your own responsible person.
Here are nine topics that you actually should fight with your parents about as a way to really showcase and embrace that you’re your own person:
Your Personal StyleYour parents' style may be very different than your own, and they may feel like they need to comment or dictate your choices. For me, it was that I always opted to wear really dark nail polishes rather than my mom's pinks and reds. The thing though is that your style is what makes you YOU. If they are giving you a hard time about trying a new hair cut or a different makeup trend, stand your ground. Your parents need to recognize that you're an individual person and want to express yourself. Source: Shutterstock
Quitting Extracurricular ActivitiesAs you get older, your interests change and that's not always something your parents will get. Have you played soccer forever but would really rather join art club this year? Or vice versa? You shouldn't feel pressured into going through the motions with an activity you're not really invested in or enjoying. You may need to fight with your parents to make sure they understand you're not just giving up or becoming unmotivated, but rather you want to participate in new activities rather than the old routine they've come to expect. Source: Shutterstock
Having A Later CurfewI don't mean you get to just disregard your curfew, but you shouldn't feel like your curfew must totally be set in stone until you move out. Is there a once-in-a-lifetime concert you want to see coming to your town? Don't rule it out because you're nervous about bringing up the possibility of an extended curfew with your parents. Sometimes awesome opportunities happen to go late at night, so be prepared to stand up for the ones that really matter to you. Source: Shutterstock
Getting Your LicenseI was on a delay with getting my license and while I often blamed my parents, thinking back, I never really made talking to them about driving a priority. Once you turn the legal age in your state, expressing your desire to drive is a conversation that you are very entitled to have. Driving is a huge responsibility and there are a lot of safety concerns, but it's also a life skill that can be very practical (like to get to a job or if there's ever an emergency). If you feel like your parents aren't taking your requests to sign you up for driver's ed or to get your permit seriously, it's totally reasonable to state your case and stand your ground. Source: Shutterstock
When You Can DateMany parents set rules for dating and I'll be honest, you can't always change their mind. However, rather than just trying to secretly date someone you really like, I say confront your parents about their no-dating policy. Maybe they change their mind, but it also allows for a discussion about the "why" they have this policy you may not have known before. Fighting this whole issue out with your parents may help you get more clarity, if not their blessing to date that special someone! Source: Shutterstock
A Friend They Don't LikeAlong with dating, some of your friendships may be called into question by your parents. Here's another fight where both sides listening is important. They might be judging your friend who they barely know, so you shouldn't be expected to just ditch your BFF because they say so. You should stand up for a friendship that's important to you. Now, I will say though that parents can sometimes offer an important outsider point of view (like maybe they see this friend is using you), so just be sure you're weighing their opinion fairly, as you'd want them to do the same. Source: Shutterstock
Sibling IssuesFamily dynamics can be very tricky to keep harmonious and while it takes a lot of compromise, you shouldn't be forced to feel like the family Cinderella. Do you feel like you and your sister have different sets of rules? Do you constantly get stuck babysitting to the point where you can't remember the last weekend you saw your friends? Voicing these opinions to your parents doesn't mean you love your family any less. Rather it is a chance to get it all out in the open and cleared up before more resentment builds up and damages family harmony down the road. Source: Shutterstock
Conflicts With Family CommitmentsSpeaking of family, it can become tense when you have plans that conflict with a family event. If you have something major like prom or a big game at school conflicting with a less-major family thing, don't automatically resign yourself to sitting it out. Your parents may be hesitant to let your social life win out over a family commitment, but I know deep down they understand there are other important events in your life you want to be a part of. You need to stick up for yourself in those moments so they see that. Source: Shutterstock
Your College PlansThis is an important one because it can really affect your future. You and your parents may have different ideas about the best college or major for you. I know your parents just want what is best for you, but you shouldn't feel pressured to make the decision you think your parents want you to make if it's not what is best for you. You know yourself and your interests better than anyone, so with this important milestone looming, it's an important time to stick up for your personal goals and dreams. Source: Shutterstock
Have you had any of these fights with your parents? How did your conversation with them turn out? What are other topics of disagreement that you think are really important to discuss with your parents? Tell us in the comments.