If you have sex with a guy REALLY early into the relationship, will he think less of you and only break up or cheat on you? Is it true that if you have sex with a guy too soon it ruins the chance of a relationship? Help!
While sleeping with a guy on the second, or even – gasp! – first date might not send the message that you’re looking to take things especially slow, there’s no reason it should make a guy “think less of you.” Sure, going all the way might confirm a casual vibe for a guy who wasn’t looking for anything serious in the first place and perhaps a Puritan will pass on your offer and walk away. But a typically good guy who also happens to really like you shouldn’t judge you for wanting to have sex. If he really has a problem with it when it comes up, a mature gentleman will simply ask if you wouldn’t mind postponing for a bit. Problem solved.
Once you’ve embarked on a relationship, no guy will break up with or cheat on you because of how soon you began having sex. At that point, your man will focus more on how awesome it is to be getting laid, rather than on how quickly it began happening! Of course, a guy with less than serious intentions from the get-go might bugger off after having slept with you – but that type of dude would have left soon after whether your first time together was a day or a year into the relationship. He’s the type suited for casual flings, or best avoided altogether.
The best reason to delay sex isn’t to keep a guy from making assumptions or cheating on you – it’s to give the relationship the best chance of surviving in the long run. When you intentionally, thoughtfully pace out sexual exploration with a partner, it not only gives you both a chance to learn more about one another without the complications that sex can often bring, but it helps build passion and makes going “all the way” that much more explosive and gratifying when you finally get there. Ladies are just as susceptible to boredom as guys are, so take your time in the bedroom for both of your sakes, not just for his!
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. When not touring the country, Ethan gives weekly advice in the video series “Dude Seriously?”. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com.