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From The Message Boards: Should My New Boyfriend And I Go Long Distance?

Tuesday, December 24, 2013 by Caitlin Corsetti

Long distance relationships are tough. They can be done, but it is difficult to not see the person you’re dating. However, if you’re totally committed to making a relationship work, no amount of distance will change that.

But what if you’re in a new relationship? Is it worth it to go long distance if you haven’t been dating for that long? That’s what you’re talking about on the message boards this week!

Let’s see what y’all had to say:

just1becca asked:
“I have been dating my current college boyfriend for under 2 months, and soon I will be separated from him for up to 8 months. (I’m going abroad and then for the summer he lives on the other side of the country) I know I’m not in love with him, but he really is perfect. We click in a way I never expected to with any guy, but we’re young and still living college life. So do you all think we should break up for the next 8 months? Break up completely? Stay together and just tell each other we’ll be honest if we find somebody else?”

wordgurl said:
“I think stay together and just tell each other if you find somebody else. Maybe long distance will work out, you’ll never know unless you try.”

Banjooo said:
“I think that you could certainly give it a chance with your beau. Sit him down and explain any fears/concerns you have about having a LDR. You two can work together and talk about it. I found it was easiest to make a schedule. If you both have Saturday nights free, for example, set aside a weekly Skype session time. That way, you just know that you have a certain time to talk, and there isn’t as much pressure about how to keep in touch. You may find that the distance makes you stronger as a couple, or you could start to notice some differences. Be sure that no matter what, you stay happy.”

Glamour said:
“This happened to me with my current boyfriend. We got together then like 2 weeks afterwards I had to move back home, which is like five hours away. I say give it a go. LDRs are hard though. I particularly find it difficult when you see other couples together, and you’re just like why can’t I have that? But if you find a way to keep in regular contact then it definitely can work.”

Long distance relationships are really tricky, especially with new relationships. I think they definitely can be successful and sometimes LDRs are easier than regular ones. About two years ago, I started dating a friend of mine during the summer. We went to different colleges and decided that even though our relationship was new, we should try long distance.

It didn’t work out. However, it didn’t work because of the distance. We actually saw each other a lot for being so far apart. We just weren’t right for each other. I think if we really wanted to stay together we would have.

If you want to stay together, I say give it a shot. It may not work out, but I think not trying is worse because you’ll always wonder “What if?” So give it a chance and see what happens! And if it doesn’t work out, you’ll meet someone else who will be around!
 
Have you ever done long distance with a new relationship? Have you ever done long distance at all? Did it work out? Tell us in the comments!
 

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

 

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Posted in: Boards, Relationships
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  • Enhle-Jordynn Ncube

    If you love him then why not? The problem is people are so negative about LDR and no doubt you will be demotivated on some days. You could even go on to the extent of breaking up with him. But one thing that decision will leave you with is a broken heart…
    trust me…

    Follow your heart,have no regrets,and finally goodluck! =)

  • Monica

    I recently started dating this amazing guy. We met because of a mutual friend and he waisted absolutely no time in asking me out. This guy is from my home town but is studying in another state really far. Things moved a little too fast and we started dating a couple days after we met. Things were amazing and i even spent mew years with him and his family but soon after he was off to Michigan. I do believe that he really likes me because he is so proud of saying im his girlfriend and loves to show me off to his friends back at his school. Distance is really tough as i wish i could see him whenever i want but thats not possible. We text every hour of everyday from morning to night. I dont know what to do as this is my first boyfriend in about 4 years. Im supposed to go visit him at hthe end of the month. Everyone keeps telling me that distance isnt going to work that things are going to end quickly and he assures me that things are going to be great between us. I just need some comforting advice from other people that have also been in LDRs.

  • Molly

    I am currently in a LDR and it was the best decision of my life. We have only met 7 times in person, but they were the best days of my life. He is without a doubt made for me, and I can’t believe how crazy we are for eachother. I came from a bad relationship, with lots of abuse, and he has completely saved me in every way possible. LDR is hard, but def. worth it , try doing things to make the distance not see mas bad. Such as date nights, watching a movie together, doing naughty thngs on skype, skype is essential, most definetly. Give it a shot! You could meet the love of your life <3

  • Heartbroken

    I just got my heart broken after a 4 month long distance relationship broke up unexpectedly. We had met only 7 months before and had interacted very sporadically. I went to his town for work, then we started talking 6-12 hours per week. We saw each other two other times, and he was supposed to come for Xmas, but bailed and ended it. Sadly, we knew it was going to be a long time in between those visits, and he lost faith. I guess it is better to have given a shot, than not, but some people really need the safety of someone there. They need it to feel connected, and they need it to grow. You essentially have two lives, and in some ways you know each other better than regular couples, and in other ways you don’t know each other at all. Doubts can creep in easily…

    • Heartbroken

      Oops, we had met 7 months before the relationship, online. One call, some emails and texts here and there

  • Jo

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  • Jo

    Situations like this are very common. First things first, remember, you should depend on yourself for your own happiness, not a relationship.

    In the long run, 2 months is not a very long time, but 2 months does not indicate the amount of passion you have in that relationship. If you are head over heels for this guy, you should definitely give long distance a try, but you should set up ground rules.

    This past summer I was seeing a guy who was in a similar situation as yourself. He was seeing a girl back in his home country, but they weren’t in a committed or serious relationship because they had only been dating for a few months; they were allowed to date other people. We really liked each other, and saw each other the majority of time he was here (about 3 months). Eventually he had to go back to his country where he eventually picked things up with the other girl. In the end, it really hurt me because we had a great connection. However, it also sucks for the other girl because I’m sure if she ever found out about me, she’d be really hurt.

    Because the relationship is so new, you have to ask yourself two questions: (1) Is it okay for the both of you to flirt or date other people? AND (2) Are you willing to commit yourself to someone you’ve known for 2 months? If you can answer these questions, you’ll have your answer.