I’m A Little Overweight – Will I Find A Boyfriend Anyway?

Dear Heather,

I’m quite a big girl and am overweight. I never really let this bother me until someone told me that I will never find a boyfriend. I’ve tried dieting before and doing a lot of exercise but it never seems to work. Will I find a boyfriend? What do I do? Thanks.

Oh no! I’m so sorry someone told you that you would never find a boyfriend because of your weight. That’s a really rude and insensitive thing to say and it’s also not true. Your weight will not prevent you from finding the right person who cares about you and loves you for you.

Every guy out there has different preferences when it comes to women that they like – just like every girl has different preferences when it comes to physical attraction. That’s normal and there’s nothing you can do about that. Truthfully, there are some guys out there who have a preference about weight – but there are also guys out there who don’t care or who might prefer “bigger” girls. You’re never going to please everybody, no matter how much you weigh or what you look like, so please don’t think that losing weight will make that happen.

You should never try to lose weight or change what you look like to try to make other people happy or to try to find a boyfriend. If you want to lose weight, okay – but do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Dieting and exercise to lose weight takes a lot of work and effort and it doesn’t come easily to everyone. Don’t do that if you’re just doing it because you’re hoping it will find you a boyfriend. If you lose 20 pounds, a guy isn’t going to suddenly decide he wants to date you – and if he does, he’s so not worth your time. 

If you really want to lose weight for yourself, talk to a doctor about your options. I don’t know what you look like or what you weigh, so I don’t feel comfortable giving you recommendations.

If you stay at your current weight, please don’t feel like you will never meet someone. As long as you are confident and show off your personality and everything that is unique about you, you’ll find someone who likes you. Don’t let one person’s comment make you feel badly about something you never worried about before.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

 

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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7 Comments

  1. avatarJojo says:

    Heather, how can I get one of my comments deleted. Last year I posted a comment on the depression article that was created in 2011 but the post is so long and it never got any replies and now that I keep looking at it, I feel sort of insecure about it because it’s kinda just… there. Completely exposed.
    Is there anyway to delete it or at least get someone to delete it for me. A reply to it would also be nice. :)
    Thanks.

  2. avatarHunter says:

    I don’t know witch state she is living in but I have a girlfriend named Heather, don’t know if this is the same girl but I love my girlfriend very much and I will a meant that she is a little over weight too, but i still love her every day. I wish you luck if you are not the Heather i think you are in finding you true love.

  3. avatarAndrea says:

    You will have a boyfriend just give it time

  4. avatarJess Canadian says:

    Overwhelming, it’s the media that makes women think that.
    But I know many guys who actually find bigger women hot and sexy!

  5. avatarLiz says:

    I lost 50+ pounds (178-124) for my health, and nothing besides becoming a healthier weight came my way.

  6. avatarAshley says:

    I’ve felt the exact same way as the girl who wrote the article. I used to think that only super skinny, gorgeous girls always get the guys but then again I have come to accept myself. I am trying to lose a few pounds but for my health not for a man.

  7. avatarV says:

    I’m overweight and I have a boyfriend, he’s amazing. Don’t worry about it. Be glad you are who you are,mitmdiesnt matter because there are so many people out there who appreciate you for who you are. The number defined by gravity and mass doesn’t define you. You’re not your weight. Don’t ever think someone will reject you or no one will love you because you’re not think that’s something many of my friends believed and it’s very hard to get them out of that mentality. Good luck girl!

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