I’m A Little Overweight – Will I Find A Boyfriend Anyway?

Dear Heather,

I’m quite a big girl and am overweight. I never really let this bother me until someone told me that I will never find a boyfriend. I’ve tried dieting before and doing a lot of exercise but it never seems to work. Will I find a boyfriend? What do I do? Thanks.

Oh no! I’m so sorry someone told you that you would never find a boyfriend because of your weight. That’s a really rude and insensitive thing to say and it’s also not true. Your weight will not prevent you from finding the right person who cares about you and loves you for you.

Every guy out there has different preferences when it comes to women that they like – just like every girl has different preferences when it comes to physical attraction. That’s normal and there’s nothing you can do about that. Truthfully, there are some guys out there who have a preference about weight – but there are also guys out there who don’t care or who might prefer “bigger” girls. You’re never going to please everybody, no matter how much you weigh or what you look like, so please don’t think that losing weight will make that happen.

You should never try to lose weight or change what you look like to try to make other people happy or to try to find a boyfriend. If you want to lose weight, okay – but do it for YOU, not for anyone else. Dieting and exercise to lose weight takes a lot of work and effort and it doesn’t come easily to everyone. Don’t do that if you’re just doing it because you’re hoping it will find you a boyfriend. If you lose 20 pounds, a guy isn’t going to suddenly decide he wants to date you – and if he does, he’s so not worth your time. 

If you really want to lose weight for yourself, talk to a doctor about your options. I don’t know what you look like or what you weigh, so I don’t feel comfortable giving you recommendations.

If you stay at your current weight, please don’t feel like you will never meet someone. As long as you are confident and show off your personality and everything that is unique about you, you’ll find someone who likes you. Don’t let one person’s comment make you feel badly about something you never worried about before.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com


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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Kaela Finstad

    I don’t understand why I can’t get a boyfriend. Yes I am overweight but only like 20-30 pounds, and I everyone tells me I’m pretty. I am a really nice person with a huge heart. But I’ve never been asked out! Why has not any guy asked me out?

  • pretty girl

    Depends what type of boyfriend you want. Yes everyone, all types will find some guy. But if you want a really good looking guy then you need to improve your appearance, lose weight and become more attractive – in mind, body and spirit. Attractiveness generates confidence. Confidence draws the right people and you will have a bigger pool to choose from.

    The fact is that us girls need to trim up and shape up. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t be mislead by those who tell you that you should not do things just to get a guy. That is wrong advice. What I am saying may sound harsh but it is the reality. Just put yourself in the guys position. If you were a tall sexy pretty girl, would you go for a fat, obese sloth of a guy? I don’t think charity goes that far and I doubt your benevolence would extend to that limit.

  • Jojo

    Heather, how can I get one of my comments deleted. Last year I posted a comment on the depression article that was created in 2011 but the post is so long and it never got any replies and now that I keep looking at it, I feel sort of insecure about it because it’s kinda just… there. Completely exposed.
    Is there anyway to delete it or at least get someone to delete it for me. A reply to it would also be nice. 🙂

  • Hunter

    I don’t know witch state she is living in but I have a girlfriend named Heather, don’t know if this is the same girl but I love my girlfriend very much and I will a meant that she is a little over weight too, but i still love her every day. I wish you luck if you are not the Heather i think you are in finding you true love.

  • Andrea

    You will have a boyfriend just give it time

  • Jess Canadian

    Overwhelming, it’s the media that makes women think that.
    But I know many guys who actually find bigger women hot and sexy!

  • Liz

    I lost 50+ pounds (178-124) for my health, and nothing besides becoming a healthier weight came my way.

  • Ashley

    I’ve felt the exact same way as the girl who wrote the article. I used to think that only super skinny, gorgeous girls always get the guys but then again I have come to accept myself. I am trying to lose a few pounds but for my health not for a man.

  • V

    I’m overweight and I have a boyfriend, he’s amazing. Don’t worry about it. Be glad you are who you are,mitmdiesnt matter because there are so many people out there who appreciate you for who you are. The number defined by gravity and mass doesn’t define you. You’re not your weight. Don’t ever think someone will reject you or no one will love you because you’re not think that’s something many of my friends believed and it’s very hard to get them out of that mentality. Good luck girl!