A new, groundbreaking study has found that the fear of being single can make people settle for relationships that they really aren’t happy in. In other words, being afraid of being alone can cause people to date others they don’t even really like that much, just because they want to be in a relationship. Shocking!
In case you didn’t pick up on that sarcasm, this study is not shocking or groundbreaking. People have been doing this FOREVER and it sucks. I have a friend who has been dating a total loser for years because she’s so terrified of being single and alone (seriously though, there’s nothing wrong with being single). Settling for a relationship with someone you’re not even that into is such a waste of your time and emotions. It’s a recipe for disaster and we all need to stop doing it – especially if we don’t want to admit that we are. Here are 10 signs you’re settling in your relationship:
You Talk About Regular Stuff, Nothing Too DeepThink about what your conversations are like. Can you talk to your boyfriend like he's your best friend? Do you share secrets, talk about your dreams, discuss the things that really make you sad, get into passionate discussions? If so, that's great! But if your conversations are boring and strictly about gossip, work, school, your parents or movies and there's no depth to them, that's not a good sign. You should connect to the person you're dating on a deeper level then just talking about what's going on in your lives. Source: ShutterStock
Little Things About Him Annoy YouWhen you spend a lot of time with someone, it's normal to start getting annoyed over little things they do. But it's not normal when you're constantly really, really aggravated by every little thing he does. If these annoyances start to make you genuinely angry, that's not good. You shouldn't feel annoyed all the time. Source: ShutterStock
You Guys Do The Same Thing All The TimeIf your relationship has become one big boring routine, that's not good. If you guys always do the same thing - get food at the same place, watch TV, see a movie or lay in bed - it's a sign that something is wrong. You need to switch things up in order for there to be excitement. It's easy to fall into that pattern, but what matters is how you get out of it. My boyfriend and I do the same thing a lot during the week, but on weekends we try to have special date nights. We also always try to go on little vacations or go skiing. If you're not doing this stuff, it's probably because you're really bored. Source: ShutterStock
You Feel Jealous Of Your Single Friends A LotIt's normal to feel a twinge of jealousy whenever you think about your single friends going out there and doing whatever they want, talking to different guys and flirting with anyone without guilt. But if you feel that way most of the time, that's a sign that you're looking for something different than what you have. Pay attention to how often you feel jealous of their lifestyle. Source: ShutterStock
You're Dependent On Him For Some ReasonFor whatever reason, you feel dependent enough on your boyfriend that you can't imagine being without him. Maybe it's because he always fixes your car, pays for your stuff and lends you money, makes you feel less alone or gives you something to do. Whatever the reason, don't stay with someone you are too dependent on - stay with someone if you genuinely want to be with them! Source: ShutterStock
Thinking About Breaking Up Makes You Feel PanickyThink about ending things with your boyfriend. How do you feel? If you feel sad and heartbroken, okay. But if you immediately feel a sense of panic like, "But what would I do? Who would I hang out with? Then I'd be the only friend without a boyfriend. Who would buy me a Christmas gift? When would I meet someone new?" that's not okay. That means you're with this person because you don't want to be alone. Source: ShutterStock
You Remind Yourself It Could Be WorseIf you're settling, you probably know you're settling - but you're constantly in denial, trying to convince yourself that things are fine. So, when you feel particularly unhappy with your relationship, you do things like remind yourself that it could be worse. Your boyfriend treats you fine. He's there for you, he's a good kisser. Yeah, he does some stuff that bothers you, but it could be worse, right? Do you really want someone thinking of you and being like, "I guess it could be better, but it could also be a lot worse." Didn't think so. Source: ShutterStock
There's A Lack Of PassionUsually when you're settling for someone, hooking up is just okay. It's fun, it's fine and sometimes it's great, but really, there's no passion there. And that lack of passion isn't even just about hooking up - it's about everything. If you don't feel excited to see your boyfriend, even after dating a long time, that's not good. Source: ShutterStock
Everything Is Just 'Fine'What is your reaction when people ask how things are going with you two? Are you genuinely like, "Things are so awesome!" or are you just like, "Yeah, everything's fine." Fine. Ugh. That's the worst word to describe something! Source: ShutterStock
You've Considered CheatingIf you cheat or want to cheat, that means that there is something wrong in the relationship. If you've seriously thought about cheating, or if you've had crushes on other people, that means you're not happy with the person you're dating. People who are super happy and in love don't just think about infidelity all the time. Source: ShutterStock
Do you think you’re settling in your relationship? Have you ever done that? How did you realize it? Tell me in the comments.