Want To Know What Guys Regret After Sex?

Have you ever hooked up with someone and then immediately afterwards wondered, “What the eff did I just do?” If so, then you know that that feeling of intense regret is one of the worst things ever. Regretting doing something sexual is so uncomfortable because you know you can never take it back and you’ll have to live with it forever.

In a perfect world, we would never feel regret after sex, or regret at all in general. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world. Almost everyone out there has probably had a sexual experience that they regret in some way, but a new study finds that men and women have different kinds of regret after sex. If you’ve ever wondered if a dude regrets a hookup or what guys might regret after having sex, this is pretty interesting – and a little annoying.

The study, released by the University of Texas, found that these differences in sexual regret are based on.. biology? Yeah. Apparently, when it comes to sex, the thing men regret the most is not having enough of it. And when it comes to women, the biggest sexual regret is having too much casual sex.

If this sounds a little off to you, you’re not alone. This study is basically saying that women are biologically hardwired to feel bad after having casual sex – which is exactly what a lot of people fight against. According to researchers, this is because for every casual sexual encounter a woman has, she’s missed a potential chance to have kids. Men regret not having enough sex because, similarly, they feel that every missed opportunity could have been a chance to have a kid. So basically, everything is about reproduction and we don’t even realize it.

What else do guys and girls regret after sex? For men, the top things they wish they had done differently were be less shy when approaching women and not trying enough new sexual things when they had the chance. For women, the top regrets include losing their virginity to the wrong person, cheating and having sex too soon in a relationship.

I can’t say I’m very surprised. I’ve heard many, many dudes regret the fact that they didn’t hook up with girls in the past who they could have had a chance with. I’ve also heard tons of my girlfriends complain about how they wish they had waited longer to do it after meeting a new dude. And it seems like at least twice a week, I see one of our female readers talk about how she regrets losing her virginity to the person she lost it to. So, these sexual regrets seem pretty legit to me.

What I don’t like, though, is how this study makes it seem like women are supposed to feel guilty about having casual sex, because it’s just how our brains work. There is nothing wrong with a casual hookup with someone you’re not going to spend the rest of your life with! Seriously.

Similarly, I don’t like how the study makes it seem like it’s okay for dudes to feel like they need to have sex with everyone possible. Just like it’s annoying for women to be made to feel like they shouldn’t enjoy sex, I can imagine that it must be annoying for some guys to feel like they have to be sleeping around in order to be “a man.” I know plenty of guys who are more into serious relationships than random hookups, but they constantly get made fun of for that. I almost feel like this study is reinforcing these silly gender stereotypes that need to stop.

Sure, sexual regret happens. But if you enjoyed your hookup – you had a good time, nothing bad happened and you felt good about it in the moment – you shouldn’t feel like you need to feel guilty for some reason. Regretting something sexual is never going to do you any good. It happened, it’s in the past and that’s it. Please don’t let this study, or anyone else, make you feel like you’re doing something wrong by having sex.

What do you think about this study? What is your number one sexual regret? Do you agree or disagree with me? Tell me in the comments.

 

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  • Securesex is right

    Casual sex is not okay sex is something that is sacred and treasured between a married couple. At least that what it is supposed to be but society thinks that they can have sec with whoever and just get an abortion. Going to a club to get a lover for the night yeah like your not gonna drink some Bacardi and jack then forget a condom and not to mention all the stds aids kills people. There is a famous person sorry I forgot his name but he slept with thousands literally thousands of girls and he got aids literally the only reason he is alive is because he’s extremely wealthy and has a staff of personal doctors and helicopter and has to take so many medications its not even funny so the people who work at the gas station around the corner who had a shit day so the go have a one night stand. No your gonna die so quickly it’s. not even funny. People need to stop having casual sex just for shits and giggles cause when the test says positive you gonna shit but nobody’s gonna be giggling the statistics are freaking scary we learned this like two weeks ago in 8th grade health and no I’m quite okay with waiting for someone with no stds so that I don’t have warts all over my vagina or scabs and pus all over no thank you

  • Vienna Enos

    I personally think we need to stop allowing scientists to fill us with this idea that these gender stereotypes are “biology”. They are actually pseudo science. If a guy wants to sleep around a lot, it’s not usually because he wants to father more children. In the 1800s and for the longest time, pseudo science also had people believing the false idea that people of African descent had biological “inferiorities” as compared to people of Caucasian descent. Clearly this was propaganda, and once the minority voice was more represented in science, people realized that those ideas were poppycock used to continue the oppression. Nowadays, women are the social, economic, and political minority in that we are still highly underrepresented and unheard, especially in science, we are not taken completely seriously. There is no actual scientific evidence to prove that men have higher libidos. Any ideas were disproved by reality. We are socially conditioned to sexualize the human body, making it a forbidden treasure that men are supposedly entitled to, and women are supposed to be ashamed of. That, my friends, is not science. We need to begin redefining what it in fact means to be a man or a woman.

  • joejoe

    “it must be annoying for some guys to feel like they have to be sleeping around in order to be “a man.”

    This is a classic misunderstanding that I see women make all of the time. Here’s a secret: as a general rule, men do NOT worry about social things the way many women do. We are more self centered and simply don’t care about other people’s opinions when it comes to doing things we like to do. I can’t imagine a guy going out and sleeping around because some stereotype says that he should, or even worrying about it. If they want to sleep around (and can), they will, if not, they won’t. Sure, we can still be fasion concious and we still care a lot about what our peers think about certain things, but if I like video games and my buddy likes football and my other buddy like Broadway plays, we’re all going to do whichever we feel like without worrying about what society says we “should” like.

    I saw a thread the other day about what a woman could say when guys are whistling / catcalling, etc., and I saw the most rediculous suggestions. “What would your mother think?” Ummm, really??? You think that an asshole guy harassing a random stranger 1) gives a crap about what his mom would think at all, 2) gives a crap when she’s not around and will never know, or 3) gives a crap about what you think his mom would think? No. He doesn’t. And as a general rule, don’t try to shame them because they clearly aren’t likely to be easily shamed. Men are logical. Ask them how many times that has worked and let them know that it will never work (or at least won’t work on you, if they are quick enough to claim that it has worked in the past).

    The point being, we generally don’t care what strangers or “society” thinks, but I keep seeing articles by, and comments from, women that don’t understand this.

    • blablablood

      speak for yourself and maybe people you know friend. I know many guys who are insecure and care about how they are supposed to be. Some don’t even realize it. Chances are you were roughed up and told to “be a man” a lot as a child? Whether you were or not, it’s likely you were raised to believe men are “hard” and don’t care what people think. It’s just not the case for everybody. A fellow dude.

  • Meanwhile The Audience

    APPLAUD*!!
    Hip Hip Hooray!
    Were on the brink of laughter!!
    Yay!
    APPLAUD**! ^_^

  • Dave

    The results of this study are ridiculous. The reason women regret casual sex has nothing to so with a “missed opportunity to have kids” because casual sex DOES lead to having kids! HELLO?! Do you even realize that this nation has an epidemic of “baby daddy” and “baby mama”?

    This study is clearly about casual sex and casual sex only, which is only a temporary high followed by regret because LOVE is not involved. There is no commitment from either party which makes the casual sex exactly what it sounds like; casual and meaningless.

    Sex in a committed relationship where love reigns will never lead to regret. I could go on and on about this. Sex without commitment leads to regret, abortion, single parenthood, orphans, broken families, teenage moms and dads etc. I won’t even get into the percentage of inmates in prison who didn’t have a father in their lives.

    Our society would lead you to believe that casual sex should be the norm (and I guess that is what it has become) and it so unbelievably ass-backwards.

  • Bri

    Biologically the study makes total sense. It does not, however, prove all men to be pigs or all women who sleep around to be sad ho bags. People are all extremely different from one another! Women and men differ in their levels of sexuality not only from gender to gender but within the gender itself. If your worried about finding a guy who isn’t a pig, stop it. There are lots of them that aren’t and when you have someone who isn’t appreciate it and don’t worry about the other ones:) There are also women who are more sexual than others and who may regret missing out on a time when they could’ve hooked up with someone. All this study proves is something that has been genetically instilled in us forever.

  • CJay

    Oh my…. Seriously???? This is a STUDY, not a damn article from a known chauvinist based on opinion. It’s a study, it’s not made to anger or bring about opposition. It’s meant to inform readers about the perspective of different people. If it is a legitimate study, then darling there is nothing to argue.

  • Sweettreat

    Saying that it’s biological for women to regret sex in the sense of “missing out on the potential chance to have kids” makes no sense, because it that were true, all of us females would be crying after every period or every time we took a birth control pill. “Oh, there goes another potential baby, oh no!”

    • Bri

      haha well most of us cry a little on our periods…………….. lolololol I think that another reason women could regret having sex is that women only have a certain amount of eggs. Meaning what we have inside of us is more valuable than sperm which gets replenished in men much more often. Women only get a certain amount of opportunities to become pregnant successfully and men can reproduce their whole lives if they really wanted to. Looking at these facts through an evolutionary lens suggests that men are more likely to want to have sex with multiple women and women are more likely to look for the “one”. Studies have shown that men are happier and healthier in a marriage though. Because the other side of the biological spectrum is a man’s need to care and protect a family. So men aren’t idiots (with some exceptions). haha They are just learning themselves like we are. And it takes some men longer than others to develop that caring side.

      • joejoe

        Women have WAY more eggs than they will ever release, so that’s not an issue. However, similar statements have been made regading the amount of effort and time that females vs. males must put in to having and raising a child. At the very least, women go through the pregnancy and initial feeding, so their commitmet is huge. Men don’t necessarily have to stay around for the child rearing part, so they are much less choosey. Check out the book “Why is Sex Fun?”

      • Alexa

        women have over 200,000 eggs. so its not really that we “only have certain opportunities”. i can see what your thinking is, though, women are born with all the eggs we’ll ever have, while men produce sperm every day

    • Dave

      You are correct, Bri! Why would we have birth control if women wanted to have kids every time they had sex?

  • Eva-Elodie

    I really hate this study!!
    I mean, come on, this is not gender-neutral….

    • gilda

      it wasn’t made to be gender-neutral, like, did you even read this?