Have you ever hooked up with someone and then immediately afterwards wondered, “What the eff did I just do?” If so, then you know that that feeling of intense regret is one of the worst things ever. Regretting doing something sexual is so uncomfortable because you know you can never take it back and you’ll have to live with it forever.
In a perfect world, we would never feel regret after sex, or regret at all in general. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world. Almost everyone out there has probably had a sexual experience that they regret in some way, but a new study finds that men and women have different kinds of regret after sex. If you’ve ever wondered if a dude regrets a hookup or what guys might regret after having sex, this is pretty interesting – and a little annoying.
The study, released by the University of Texas, found that these differences in sexual regret are based on.. biology? Yeah. Apparently, when it comes to sex, the thing men regret the most is not having enough of it. And when it comes to women, the biggest sexual regret is having too much casual sex.
If this sounds a little off to you, you’re not alone. This study is basically saying that women are biologically hardwired to feel bad after having casual sex – which is exactly what a lot of people fight against. According to researchers, this is because for every casual sexual encounter a woman has, she’s missed a potential chance to have kids. Men regret not having enough sex because, similarly, they feel that every missed opportunity could have been a chance to have a kid. So basically, everything is about reproduction and we don’t even realize it.
What else do guys and girls regret after sex? For men, the top things they wish they had done differently were be less shy when approaching women and not trying enough new sexual things when they had the chance. For women, the top regrets include losing their virginity to the wrong person, cheating and having sex too soon in a relationship.
I can’t say I’m very surprised. I’ve heard many, many dudes regret the fact that they didn’t hook up with girls in the past who they could have had a chance with. I’ve also heard tons of my girlfriends complain about how they wish they had waited longer to do it after meeting a new dude. And it seems like at least twice a week, I see one of our female readers talk about how she regrets losing her virginity to the person she lost it to. So, these sexual regrets seem pretty legit to me.
What I don’t like, though, is how this study makes it seem like women are supposed to feel guilty about having casual sex, because it’s just how our brains work. There is nothing wrong with a casual hookup with someone you’re not going to spend the rest of your life with! Seriously.
Similarly, I don’t like how the study makes it seem like it’s okay for dudes to feel like they need to have sex with everyone possible. Just like it’s annoying for women to be made to feel like they shouldn’t enjoy sex, I can imagine that it must be annoying for some guys to feel like they have to be sleeping around in order to be “a man.” I know plenty of guys who are more into serious relationships than random hookups, but they constantly get made fun of for that. I almost feel like this study is reinforcing these silly gender stereotypes that need to stop.
Sure, sexual regret happens. But if you enjoyed your hookup – you had a good time, nothing bad happened and you felt good about it in the moment – you shouldn’t feel like you need to feel guilty for some reason. Regretting something sexual is never going to do you any good. It happened, it’s in the past and that’s it. Please don’t let this study, or anyone else, make you feel like you’re doing something wrong by having sex.
What do you think about this study? What is your number one sexual regret? Do you agree or disagree with me? Tell me in the comments.