I love cooking, but I wasn’t always a great cook. I’d accidentally burn garlic, overcook pasta, over salt veggies and start preparing some cookie dough only to realize that I was short one ingredient. It takes a lot of time, a lot of patience and a lot of watching Food Network and scouring food blogs before I actually became a little better than decent at the whole cooking thing. I basically pretend I’m Ina Garten from Barefoot Contessa.
Except more fabulous.
But what should you do if you really want to become a great cook, especially with the holidays coming up, yet you have absolutely zero skills. What if something as simple as boiling water is a pain in the ass? Well, stress no more because The Lazy Girl’s Guide is here to save you. Check out these 10 completely useful and not at all sarcastic tips that’ll help you become a dope cook in no time.
Pop Tarts Can Replace PiesHey, it has a crust and a filling. Totally a pie. Source: Daria/MTV
Cover Yourself In Butterfirst of all, who doesn't love butter? Second of all, it's probably super moisturizing. Third of all, who doesn't love butter? Source: PaulaDeenRidingThings.com
Rely On Your Microwave To Cook Amazing Meat DishesSome of you might remember the iconic episode of Flavor of Love when one of the contestants decided to cook an entire chicken in the microwave because there was a chicken button. Well, sure, the chicken was totally uncooked, inedible and completely disgusting, but maybe you can do a better job. Source: Flavor Of Love/VH1
Curse at EVERYONEThis is clearly the key to Gordon Ramsay's success. Source: Hell's Kitchen/Fox
Wear Orange CrocsChef Mario Batali loves to rock Crocs and he's, you know, world famous. You'll be the fashionista of the kitchen, of course, with those orange monstrosities. Source: Mario Batali/Facebook
Cover Your Apron With FoodYou'll look like a Legit Cook and nobody can accuse you of being a lazy cook. You have the mess to prove otherwise. Haters go home. Source: Shutterstock
Remember: It's Not Ugly, It's RusticIf your dish comes out looking a little...less than appetizing, just say that you prepared it in a rustic style. Source: Harry Potter/Warner Bros.
Prepare Something You've Never Hear OfWhat's cooking without Some predictable disasters? For some added thrills, get a recipe from a site written entirely in a language you can't understand and rely on Google Translate to figure it out for you. Ambition is always a good look, even when it ends in disgusting food. Source: Shutterstock
Unhappy With Your Result? Cover It In SriachaIt'll automatically make everything taste better. Source: The Huffington Post
When In Doubt, Take OutPhones and the Internet exist for a reason. That reason is take out. Source: Spongebob Square Pants/Nickelodeon
What are some real bits of advice that you have for people who want to start cooking? What dishes do you think are totally fool proof? Let us know in the comments!