I had a really rough awkward stage when I was in middle school but started dating a guy that ended up lasting for quite some time (8 years!). I remember this girl in my class who made fun of me a lot would always tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough to have a boyfriend. Meanwhile, I thought relationships were about how you felt about someone else, not your looks. Luckily, I was right because while you might be attracted to the way someone looks, that’s not what makes a sustainable relationship.
This week on the message boards, y’all are talking about what your looks have to do with having a boyfriend. Let’s see what you had to say.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been going crazy over this! Please don’t think I’m conceited and post hateful things, because I am being very honest with you. I’m tall, people think I’m gorgeous and I have a great personality. One of my best friends gave the name ‘Boy Magnet’ because of all the attention I get from guys. And the other best friend… it’s a long story. The only problem is that I’ve never really had a boyfriend before. Sure there were those fifth grade relationships where you just hug and walk away, but I am currently a senior in high school and have never had a real relationship! One where you go on dates, kiss and much more! I just feel like I’m missing out on a lot in this stage of my life. Guys flirt with me, call me this and that, give attention, but they never really seem to want date me. Sure there have been times where a couple of guys have tried to make advances and I turned them down, but only because they weren’t my type. So I guess my questions are: Are guys intimidated by beautiful girls? Do they go for the easier girls instead of girls like me? And will I really find someone one day? I feel so left out. When a guy gives me a compliment I am grateful, but then again I feel alone.”
“You sound confident, and that’s a really good thing. Just wait and the right guy will come around. I get a lot of attention from guys as well, as does my best friend, and we both didn’t get our first boyfriends until after high school. I’ve been with mine for 2 years now, and she’s been with hers for like 6 months. Waiting for the right guy is a smart thing to do, and don’t worry about not having a boyfriend. Just enjoy the single life and the right guy will come along.”
“Instead of waiting for the right guy to come to you, why don’t you make a move? How about you find a guy that is your type and go from there. Become friends, hang out, go places, talk and text. Or… you could just keep waiting.”
“Being in a relationship isn’t about looks AT ALL. You keep saying guys don’t want to date you, but you’re not focusing on the fact that you need to find what YOU need in a boyfriend in a guy. You should be choosing the guy you want, not waiting around for guys to choose you as a girlfriend.”
The bottom line is that your looks are not what makes relationships work! Like I said before, you may be attracted to how someone looks. But what really makes a relationship tick is your connection to someone and how you feel about them. Also, everyone has different views on what “pretty” is. While self-confidence is such a great quality to have, thinking you’re attractive won’t magically conjure up a boyfriend for you. It doesn’t work that way!
You don’t just see a good-looking guy and say “You’re attractive, you’re my boyfriend now.” You have to get to know people and figure out what it is you want in a relationship and a partner. While everyone is beautiful, you could be the most gorgeous thing to ever grace this planet and not have a boyfriend because looks do not equal relationships.
I agree that you can’t just wait for a guy to make you his girlfriend. If you have a crush on someone, there’s nothing wrong with making a move yourself! I made the first move on my now-boyfriend, and it worked out great. And you should never date someone just because you want a boyfriend. That’s the wrong reason to get into a relationship. It’s definitely worth waiting for the right person to come along, and trust me, you’ll know it when they do.
What do you think about looks in relationships? Do you think if you’re “pretty” you should have a boyfriend? What advice would you give? Tell us in the comments!
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