From The Message Boards: I’m Pretty So Why Don’t I Have A Boyfriend?

I had a really rough awkward stage when I was in middle school but started dating a guy that ended up lasting for quite some time (8 years!). I remember this girl in my class who made fun of me a lot would always tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough to have a boyfriend. Meanwhile, I thought relationships were about how you felt about someone else, not your looks. Luckily, I was right because while you might be attracted to the way someone looks, that’s not what makes a sustainable relationship.

This week on the message boards, y’all are talking about what your looks have to do with having a boyfriend. Let’s see what you had to say.

Ullima said:

“You have no idea how long I’ve been going crazy over this! Please don’t think I’m conceited and post hateful things, because I am being very honest with you. I’m tall, people think I’m gorgeous and I have a great personality. One of my best friends gave the name ‘Boy Magnet’ because of all the attention I get from guys. And the other best friend… it’s a long story. The only problem is that I’ve never really had a boyfriend before. Sure there were those fifth grade relationships where you just hug and walk away, but I am currently a senior in high school and have never had a real relationship! One where you go on dates, kiss and much more! I just feel like I’m missing out on a lot in this stage of my life. Guys flirt with me, call me this and that, give attention, but they never really seem to want date me. Sure there have been times where a couple of guys have tried to make advances and I turned them down, but only because they weren’t my type. So I guess my questions are: Are guys intimidated by beautiful girls? Do they go for the easier girls instead of girls like me? And will I really find someone one day? I feel so left out. When a guy gives me a compliment I am grateful, but then again I feel alone.”

hotjamale said:

“You sound confident, and that’s a really good thing. Just wait and the right guy will come around. I get a lot of attention from guys as well, as does my best friend, and we both didn’t get our first boyfriends until after high school. I’ve been with mine for 2 years now, and she’s been with hers for like 6 months. Waiting for the right guy is a smart thing to do, and don’t worry about not having a boyfriend. Just enjoy the single life and the right guy will come along.”

xoxohipsterrrr said:

“Instead of waiting for the right guy to come to you, why don’t you make a move? How about you find a guy that is your type and go from there. Become friends, hang out, go places, talk and text. Or… you could just keep waiting.”

stayclassy said:

“Being in a relationship isn’t about looks AT ALL. You keep saying guys don’t want to date you, but you’re not focusing on the fact that you need to find what YOU need in a boyfriend in a guy. You should be choosing the guy you want, not waiting around for guys to choose you as a girlfriend.”

The bottom line is that your looks are not what makes relationships work! Like I said before, you may be attracted to how someone looks. But what really makes a relationship tick is your connection to someone and how you feel about them. Also, everyone has different views on what “pretty” is. While self-confidence is such a great quality to have, thinking you’re attractive won’t magically conjure up a boyfriend for you. It doesn’t work that way!

You don’t just see a good-looking guy and say “You’re attractive, you’re my boyfriend now.” You have to get to know people and figure out what it is you want in a relationship and a partner. While everyone is beautiful, you could be the most gorgeous thing to ever grace this planet and not have a boyfriend because looks do not equal relationships.

I agree that you can’t just wait for a guy to make you his girlfriend. If you have a crush on someone, there’s nothing wrong with making a move yourself! I made the first move on my now-boyfriend, and it worked out great. And you should never date someone just because you want a boyfriend. That’s the wrong reason to get into a relationship. It’s definitely worth waiting for the right person to come along, and trust me, you’ll know it when they do.

What do you think about looks in relationships? Do you think if you’re “pretty” you should have a boyfriend? What advice would you give? Tell us in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

 

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Posted in: Boards, Health, Sex & Relationships
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12 Comments

  1. avatar shania says:

    OMg..that’s happens to me often! Everywhere I go everybody stares, guys give me cute complement, lol girls give me the devil look( do I care???) But I don’t have boyfriend, I haven’t kissed a guy in my life…all my friends have boyfriends, its only me that is single…I always feel alone. They always have something to talk about, and I don’t…#rejected shania

  2. avatar Katie says:

    Hey guys…

    I think looks are important in a relationship. Not looks as in you have to be beautiful, or look a certain way but everyone has their own view of what attractive is. If a guy fancies a girl, he fancies her, she could be big, small, attractive, or plain. It wouldn’t be right to date someone who you weren’t attracted to – that’s all part of it, the butterflies, getting nervous, all that! But personality obviously is just as important – you can find yourself attracted to personalities too, feeling something warm when you talk to someone. It has to be a balance. You could date someone you THINK you’re really into…and discover they are an utter bore and are completely put off!

    Relationships are a part of human nature, nobody ever goes without being in one. And you will find yourself in many throughout your life – some good, some bad. Everyone is beautiful x

  3. avatar kiera riley says:

    Its not all about being pretty some boys like personality and not looks some boys like bobbies and ass u dont need a fucking boyfriend it make u happy fuck men

  4. avatar Alexis says:

    Girrl! I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about! Tall, thin, and (reasonably) attractive and I’m 16 AND A HALF! Like what is life?! Lol. I’m not conceited either but for a girl who gets complimented on her beauty on a daily basis you would expect her to have a boyfriend. Shoot, I never even had the petty 5th grade relationship that everyone else had! I’m so pathetic!! #ForeverAlone

  5. avatar Chantelle says:

    It’s sometimes annoys me don’t get me wrong I love my best friend to bits but it always feels like guys use me to get to her or when I start to think this guy likes me he hits on my best friend and gets her number. I don’t understand I’m skinny have blond hair blue eyes have pale skin have a really likeable personality and I’m a cheerleader but guys always go for my friend/ friends is it cause they have bigger boobs, a nicer ass or are just prettier then me.
    Help?!

  6. avatar Ariel says:

    God damn you guys are so young…I didnt have my first kiss till this year in college and honestly I had lost it in such a bad way. You guys save your first kiss for someone special, not just any random loser thats hitting on you at a party ;) learn from other peoples mistakes.

  7. avatar Pamela says:

    Don’t worry, girl! I just turned 16 this year, and have never had my first kiss, or even had a boyfriend! It’ll all happen in good time! Trust me! I’ve been thinking the same things for a long time.

  8. avatar Aaliyah says:

    I love these quizes

  9. avatar Laura says:

    Don’t worry about it Steph I’m 15 and I still don’t have a boyfriend yet just enjoy being single and figure out who you are first :) from what ive seen having a good group of friends is more important then getting a boyfriend btw being single is cool you can do what you want when you want, you can also talk to as many guys as you want and not have to worry what your “boyfriend” may think :P one day you’ll meet the perfect guy eventually ! honestly i think mind got hit by a truck but nevertheless, hope that helped xx <3

  10. avatar Aria says:

    i feel the same way… but i have no idea what to do… i’m helpless! :(

  11. avatar Steph says:

    Is it weird that at 14 I haven’t had my first kiss or boyfriend yet? I don’t think of myself as “pretty” or anything but it’s just that practically everyone I know has had a boyfriend or has full on snogged someone and I guess I’m just feeling left out.

    • avatar Laura says:

      Don’t worry about it Steph I’m 15 and I still don’t have a boyfriend yet just enjoy being single and figure out who you are first from what ive seen having a good group of friends is more important then getting a boyfriend btw being single is cool you can do what you want when you want, you can also talk to as many guys as you want and not have to worry what your “boyfriend” may think one day you’ll meet the perfect guy eventually ! honestly i think mind got hit by a truck but nevertheless, hope that helped xx <3

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