I’m 15-years-old and the guy I’ve had my eye on all year finally asked me to be his girlfriend! However, before I entered the relationship, I had never kissed him. We’ve been together for almost a month now and I quickly found out that he’s the worst kisser EVER. I don’t want to dump him because I have this great connection with him and he makes me feel special. But for goodness sake, whenever we make out, he uses his teeth (with braces, I might add) and slobbers all over me. Help!!!!
Congrats on snagging your dream dude! That’s awesome. But… it’s not so awesome that he’s a bad kisser. Fortunately, this is definitely something that you can work on. Training him to become a better kisser might take a little time and patience, but it is not impossible.
This is one of those situations where you don’t need to be totally honest right away. Telling your boyfriend that he’s a bad kisser is not a good idea. It’s going to hurt his ego and make him even more nervous about kissing you. Instead, you’re going to have to teach him without letting him know that you’re teaching him. Does that make sense?
The next time you guys kiss, you have to be bold enough to tell him what you want him to do. When he leans in, tell him in a flirty voice that you want a slow, romantic kiss. Then kiss him the way you want to be kissed. Hopefully, he’ll follow your lead and do the same thing back. Tell him what to do by being like, “kiss me like this, I really like it,” and then showing him. If he does it wrong or starts attacking you with teeth and saliva stop him and say, “wait I like this better.” He’s probably not going to be insulted – instead, he’s going to get excited that you’re telling him what you like.
The truth is is that when he’s kissing you, he wants to please YOU. He wants you to enjoy it, so if you tell him how to kiss you, it’s probably going to turn him on. It’s also a sign of confidence, which is something that guys love. And if he says something like, “was I doing something wrong?” you can avoid the question by saying, “I just like this better.”
You can also try “joking” around the next time he slobbers on you or mashes his teeth into your mouth. You can giggle and be like, “ow, that hurt!” or something. Don’t make a big deal out of it, just act like you’re sort of joking and being playful. That might be enough of a wake-up call to him.
Try this teaching technique for a little while and if it doesn’t work at all, you have two choices: be honest or dump him. Being honest might hurt his feelings, but you don’t have to do it in a mean way. Just tell him you’d love to kiss a different way so you can both really enjoy yourself. Dumping him is a last resort, but it’s an option because a relationship is about both a physical and emotional connection. You need to be just as happy with his kisses as you do with everything else.
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