My Boyfriend Is A Bad Kisser, How Can I Make Him Better?

Dear Heather,

I’m 15-years-old and the guy I’ve had my eye on all year finally asked me to be his girlfriend! However, before I entered the relationship, I had never kissed him. We’ve been together for almost a month now and I quickly found out that he’s the worst kisser EVER. I don’t want to dump him because I have this great connection with him and he makes me feel special. But for goodness sake, whenever we make out, he uses his teeth (with braces, I might add) and slobbers all over me. Help!!!!

Congrats on snagging your dream dude! That’s awesome. But… it’s not so awesome that he’s a bad kisser. Fortunately, this is definitely something that you can work on. Training him to become a better kisser might take a little time and patience, but it is not impossible.

This is one of those situations where you don’t need to be totally honest right away. Telling your boyfriend that he’s a bad kisser is not a good idea. It’s going to hurt his ego and make him even more nervous about kissing you. Instead, you’re going to have to teach him without letting him know that you’re teaching him. Does that make sense?

The next time you guys kiss, you have to be bold enough to tell him what you want him to do. When he leans in, tell him in a flirty voice that you want a slow, romantic kiss. Then kiss him the way you want to be kissed. Hopefully, he’ll follow your lead and do the same thing back. Tell him what to do by being like, “kiss me like this, I really like it,” and then showing him. If he does it wrong or starts attacking you with teeth and saliva stop him and say, “wait I like this better.” He’s probably not going to be insulted – instead, he’s going to get excited that you’re telling him what you like.

The truth is is that when he’s kissing you, he wants to please YOU. He wants you to enjoy it, so if you tell him how to kiss you, it’s probably going to turn him on. It’s also a sign of confidence, which is something that guys love. And if he says something like, “was I doing something wrong?” you can avoid the question by saying, “I just like this better.” 

You can also try “joking” around the next time he slobbers on you or mashes his teeth into your mouth. You can giggle and be like, “ow, that hurt!” or something. Don’t make a big deal out of it, just act like you’re sort of joking and being playful. That might be enough of a wake-up call to him.

Try this teaching technique for a little while and if it doesn’t work at all, you have two choices: be honest or dump him. Being honest might hurt his feelings, but you don’t have to do it in a mean way. Just tell him you’d love to kiss a different way so you can both really enjoy yourself. Dumping him is a last resort, but it’s an option because a relationship is about both a physical and emotional connection. You need to be just as happy with his kisses as you do with everything else.

take care,

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Maddie

    I’m 16 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. I honestly cannot believe how lucky I am to have found someone I am so close too, because he is my first boyfriend (and only, and I have known him my whole life), and I can honestly say I have no clue what I would do without him. He is a best friend too. I’m not one of those teenage girls who spill how completely infatuated they are with their partner of only a month or two and then break up with them a second later-relationships are serious to me (even though I have only been in one). I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with this guy (which I pretty much have up to this point haha) and I wouldn’t say he is a bad kisser but when we really get into kissing- he becomes rough and uses way to much tongue and slobber, for lack of better words, and I’m hoping this article’s information will help. thanks 🙂

    • Jules Rapunzel

      Ik how u feel chica mine does that too and just
      Like u guys my bf and I have been the same
      Way known eachother our whole lives
      But we broke up a lot when we dated earlier.
      He’s my ex but we realized we still
      Love eachother and never stopped so we r
      Trying to make it work
      Again and he kisses with to much tongue and saliva
      too. Ugh ik he gave me my first kiss saint party’s day
      When we got together again
      And I don’t wanna hurt him but he needs to kiss
      Better! Lol can someone help me??? We r
      Both super super shy and awkward but we want it
      To be less like that and I want him to kiss better
      But I’m way to shy to tell him what I want in his kisses
      And stuff

  • Shawna Brock

    My question is isnt it a little harsh to dump a guy over him not kissing you correctly?

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