I’ve never kept it a secret that I think friends with benefits type relationships are a horrible idea. When they start off, they sound great – you have someone to hang out and hook up with when you feel like getting frisky, but you don’t have the obligations of a relationship to deal with. Who wouldn’t want something as light and easy as that?
The problem with friends with benefits is that everyone thinks they can handle it, but the majority of people cannot. Once you start having an intimate relationship with someone you like (and obviously you like them if you’re hooking up with them, I don’t care what you say), it’s natural to eventually start to want something more serious. It happens all the time. Since most girls go into a FWB swearing up and down that they won’t get attached, they freak out when they do get attached and sometimes end up doing the wrong thing.
Truthfully, it’s really, really difficult to make your friends with benefits your boyfriend. In most cases, I think it’s impossible. Once a guy sees that he can get what he wants without having to really do anything back for you, it’s hard for him to change the way he sees the relationship he has with you. However, there are some people out there that swear that it can happen. If you’ve recently fallen head over heels for your friend with benefits, here are 10 tips that might make him your boyfriend. Good luck!
Try To Get Him To Go Out Instead Of Just Hooking UpFriends with benefits usually involves going to one of your houses at random times to hook up and then maybe cuddle in bed for a little bit. If this is what your relationship consists of, try to get your FWB to go out with you once in a while. You can flat out say, "we should get dinner or lunch one day" or you can try to be more sneaky about it. The next time you're talking, bring up a movie you think he'll be interested in and when he says he can't wait to see it, casually say something like, "we should see it together." The next time you guys hang out, ask if he wants to grab something to eat afterwards. If he's not interested in doing anything other than hooking up? Not a good sign. Source: ShutterStock
Talk More To Develop A ConnectionIn order to get him to develop deeper feelings for you, you guys need to have both an emotional and physical connection. You probably already have the physical part down... now it's time for the emotional. After you hook up next time, cuddle and talk about stuff other than stupid gossip or celebrities. Confide in him and ask him for advice. Tell him some secrets. Show emotion other than happiness. He might not reciprocate right away, but he might eventually. And if he doesn't, that probably means he doesn't want to. Source: ShutterStock
Say No SometimesThere's no denying that guys like a challenge and a chase. Usually, FWB's don't get more serious because guys don't feel like they have that. To make him squirm, say no to hanging out once in a while, even when you really want to say yes. If he has to chase you a little bit, he might start to develop feelings. Source: ShutterStock
Act A Little More Flirty In PublicBe VERY careful here, because this could easily go wrong. If you work with your FWB or go to school with him, casually try to be a little bit more flirty in public. Don't grab his hand or get super into PDA, because that might overwhelm him. Just subtly touch his arm or make slightly suggestive comments or get close when you talk. See how he reacts. If he seems freaked out, stop. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Play Weird GamesA lot of girls try to get their FWB to see them in a different light by playing games and trying to make them jealous. This probably isn't going to work, because if your FWB does get jealous, it's probably only going to make him want to flirt or hook up with someone else. It's better to just come clean about your feelings than to try to make him jealous. Source: ShutterStock
Give The Relationship Some SpaceLike I said, guys like a chase. If the above steps don't seem to be working at all, consider giving the relationship space. Stop hanging out with him and talking to him and see what happens. If he has time apart from you and realizes he misses you, then he'll come back for you. If he doesn't? Well, it just wasn't meant to be. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Act Really ClingyDon't assume that acting like a clingy girlfriend will make him actually want to be in a relationship. It's only going to drive him away. If you start to develop feelings, don't start calling or texting him constantly or getting mad when he can't hang out - that's going to push him away very quickly. Source: ShutterStock
Be Honest About How You FeelAt the end of the day, sometimes the only thing you can do is be honest about how you feel. Let him know that you didn't expect this to happen, but you've grown feelings for him and you want something more. Ask if he feels the same way. Source: ShutterStock
Realize It Might Not HappenYou seriously need to realize that there's a big chance that things won't work out the way you want them to. It's really hard to transition from such a casual hookup relationship to a serious one. This guy might have feelings for someone else. He might get blindsided by your feelings and freak out. Whatever the reason, it just might not happen and it's really important to accept that. Source; ShutterStock
Move On GracefullyIf he's not interested, try to move on gracefully. I know it's hard, but try not to accuse him of using you or being horrible. After all, you did go into this knowing full well that it was supposed to be a casual thing. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Did you fall for him? Have you ever made a FWB into your boyfriend? How did you do it? Tell us in the comments.