Can guys tell if you’re a virgin? I’m 18-years-old and I’ve never had sex and I feel really self-conscious about it. I’ve heard that a lot of guys don’t want to hook up with or date virgins because they think they’ll get too attached. I know I don’t have to tell anyone I’m a virgin, but will they be able to figure it out on their own? Help!
If you mean can a guy tell you’re a virgin just by looking at you or hearing you speak, then the answer is no. Having sex won’t make you look any differently then before. Don’t worry, there are no virgin vibes coming off of you and dudes aren’t superheros who can sense which girls haven’t had sex yet.
However, if you’re asking if guys will be able to tell you’re a virgin once you start fooling around, the answer is… maybe, especially if you guys try to have sex. When you’re a virgin, things are a lot tighter down there and so having sex for the first time can be a little difficult and a little painful. Plus, the first time you have sex, your hymen may break, causing a little bit of blood down there. This doesn’t always happen though – some people have their hymen break before then and so they don’t bleed their first time.
The main way a guy you’re hooking up with will be able to tell if you’re a virgin or not is the degree of tightness and a sense of inexperience. For example, if you’re really nervous about your first time, he might be able to tell that you’re freaked out – and if you also seem unsure of what to do, he might pick up on the fact that you’ve never had sex before. It’s not easy to fake sexual experience and I wouldn’t encourage it because that will just make you tense and less able to enjoy what’s happening.
But you know what? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin! You have nothing to feel self-conscious about. You’re right, you don’t have to reveal your v-card status to any dudes, but I would encourage you to be honest anyway. What if you lie and then end up in a serious relationship with that person? They’re going to feel seriously betrayed. Being honest about your virginity can potentially make the experience a lot better for you. And if a guy is going to stop talking to you because of it, he’s not worth it and you shouldn’t be having sex with him anyway.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org