I read through all of the questions and comments you girls send to Gurl.com (keep ’em coming!) and recently, I’ve noticed that a lot of you seem to be sharing a similar problem: you have a crush on a girl (usually a friend), but you’re afraid to tell her and also, you’re freaking out a little bit because you thought you were straight but does this mean you’re a lesbian? Whew. It all seems very stressful.
If you’re going through this right now, don’t panic! You are definitely not alone and there is definitely nothing wrong with you having a crush on another girl, whether it means you’re bisexual, a lesbian or just a straight girl with a crush. Even celebrities have been in your shoes! In a recent interview with Entrevue magazine, Katy Perry said: “When I was 15, I fell in love with a female friend. I thought she was beautiful and wanted to be like her. She had such a huge impact on my life, but I never told her how I felt.”
Does that sound familiar? If so, read on for 10 tips on what to do when you have a crush on another girl. Having more than friendly feelings about a BFF can be scary and intimidating. Figuring out how to deal with your feelings can be really difficult. That’s why we’re here – to give you a helping hand and to remind you that, no matter what, there’s nothing wrong with this crush.
Don't Freak Out!First things first: don't panic. If you've never felt this way about someone of the same sex before, I can understand how these new feelings might make you freak out a little bit. But really, you don't need to. There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality and there is nothing wrong with liking another girl! Please don't let anyone ever make you feel weird or uncomfortable about this. I can't stress enough how okay it is. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Assume You're A LesbianIf you start to develop feelings for a female friend, don't panic and automatically assume that you're going to be a lesbian for the rest of your life. A lot of you say things like, "I've always liked boys/I'm still attracted to boys/I'm confused." It's okay! Maybe you're bisexual, maybe you're a lesbian and maybe you just have a crush on a chick. Until you really figure out your feelings, don't force yourself to put a label on things. Source: ShutterStock
Give Yourself Time To Think About ItIf these feelings are fresh and new, give yourself some time to process them and figure them out before you do or say anything you can't take back. Think about how you really feel about this girl by asking yourself some questions, such as: can you see yourself hooking up with her? Does that excite you? Do you want to just be more like her? Can you see yourself dating her seriously? Source: ShutterStock
Treat This Like Any Other Crush!In the end, your crush on a girl is just that... a crush. Once you've figured out your feelings a little more, treat it exactly as you would treat a crush on a dude. Source: ShutterStock
Talk About It With Someone You TrustIf you're feeling really confused and you don't know what to do, consider reaching out to a friend you trust so that you have someone to talk to. But only do that if you feel comfortable with it - talking to someone else might mean coming out as a bisexual or a lesbian and you should only do that when you're ready. Source: ShutterStock
Get Close and Comfortable With HerIf you're not already close with this girl or if you don't already feel comfortable around her, now's the time to do that. Start hanging out with her more as friends so that you can get to know her. Not only will this help you figure out your feelings, but it will also allow you to feel more comfortable so that if you want, you can eventually be honest with her about your crush. Source: ShutterStock
Feel Out Her Vibe and Drop HintsGet an idea of what's thinking by dropping some hints. The next time you guys are having a serious bonding moment, casually ask her if she would ever hook up with a girl or if she's ever had a crush on a girl. Seeing her reaction to those sorts of questions might help you decide if you should tell her about your feelings or not. Source: ShutterStock
Get A Little FlirtyOn The OC, Marissa and Alex started out as friends before their relationship escalated into something more romantic. Alex pursued Marissa, who had only dated guys up until then, by flirting with her. Yes, this is bold, but you can start slow and do what feels comfortable for you. Get a little flirty to see how she reacts. If she flirts back, who knows? Things could escalate exactly as they did with Marissa and Alex.
Be Honest With HerIf your feelings are really strong and you really want to come clean, then do it. Be honest with your friend and tell her that you've started to like her as more than just a BFF. Let her know that you're not trying to freak her out and you're not sure what it means (if that's true), but you like her a lot and you wanted to let her know. Give her time if she needs it and don't be too pushy or anything like that. Let her know that even if she doesn't feel the same way, you don't want your friendship ruined (if you're okay with that).
Know That She Might Not Feel The Same WayIt's important to know that your friend might not feel the same way as you do - and that's okay. Yes, it really stinks to be rejected... but at least you had the guts to be honest with her about you felt. That's something you won't regret! Also, at least you'll know for sure rather than spending years wondering what could have happened. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever had a crush on a girl? What did you do? Would you ever tell a girl you had a crush on her? What advice did I miss? Tell me in the comments.