10 Tips On What To Do When You Have A Crush On A Girl

I read through all of the questions and comments you girls send to Gurl.com (keep ‘em coming!) and recently, I’ve noticed that a lot of you seem to be sharing a similar problem: you have a crush on a girl (usually a friend), but you’re afraid to tell her and also, you’re freaking out a little bit because you thought you were straight but does this mean you’re a lesbian? Whew. It all seems very stressful.

If you’re going through this right now, don’t panic! You are definitely not alone and there is definitely nothing wrong with you having a crush on another girl, whether it means you’re bisexual, a lesbian or just a straight girl with a crush. Even celebrities have been in your shoes! In a recent interview with Entrevue magazine, Katy Perry said: “When I was 15, I fell in love with a female friend. I thought she was beautiful and wanted to be like her. She had such a huge impact on my life, but I never told her how I felt.”

Does that sound familiar? If so, read on for 10 tips on what to do when you have a crush on another girl. Having more than friendly feelings about a BFF can be scary and intimidating. Figuring out how to deal with your feelings can be really difficult. That’s why we’re here – to give you a helping hand and to remind you that, no matter what, there’s nothing wrong with this crush.

Have you ever had a crush on a girl? What did you do? Would you ever tell a girl you had a crush on her? What advice did I miss? Tell me in the comments.

 

How do I tell other guys I’m bisexual?

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29 Comments

  1. avatar Lauren says:

    Oh My Gosh… So I’ve had the exact she problems and been on a million websites to help me… I still don’t know…. I’m in love with my friend….. Only 1 friend…. I don’t know what!?!? I never felt like this… I’m into guys.. On top of that I have a Boyfriend! He knows my “girl” friend but he doesn’t know that I have a crush on her…. I want to tell her but I’m worried… I kinda think she’s bi aswell but k have no idea! And I just wanna…. Kiss her…. Ahhh!!! I don’t know why!!

  2. avatar kelly says:

    well this girl invited me on bbm. we havent chat so much always late at night but i could say she is amazing. Ever since then i saw her picture i started to freak out coz i got this huge crush on her and i dont know if she is straight,lesbian or bi. the problem is her brother live in capetown,she is from Dubai only next year she is moving to capetown thats where i am from what should i do in this case?

  3. avatar Anonymous says:

    When i wn’to go over a girl i just feel nevours and shy because i dont know how will i start?

  4. avatar Gabriela says:

    I am a new student at fine art school, and I am straight girl, I never crushed on a girl before, but suddenly I am having a huge crush on my art school assistant , when I first saw her she looks amazing , dressed like a guy, after few days Later I found out that she is a real lesbian. What I should do now, I can’t stop starring at her when she is around

  5. avatar Gretta says:

    I have a crush on my friend. I met her a month ago at a concert for a band we both like, and we had so much in common that we exchanged numbers. We’ve talked a lot since then and she’s really sweet, but I haven’t told her that I like girls at all (I’m bi), and I don’t know if she’s like that at all. I don’t want to push anything onto her and ruin our friendship (she lives in a different state so if I messed this up its possible I’d never see or hear from her again). We haven’t talked anything about relationships or anything, so I have no idea if she is in a relationship with someone already, has a religious/moral no dating thing, if she’s straight or aromantic, or if she’ll only ever like me as a friend. I’m fine with it if any of those are the case, but the fact is that I just don’t know, and I’m struggling with my obligation to her as her friend to respect her enough to tell her how I feel, and the fear that we haven’t been friends long enough for this or that our friendship will end.

  6. avatar Samantha says:

    We all have the same problem , why don’t we go out together and see if things would work out

  7. avatar jomz says:

    im a 2nd year college student i have a huge crush on this girl,, everytime i saw her i feel so happy and I can’t help myself to smile my classmates know about it they told me to talk to her, but I can’t because I feel so nervous and shy, I really really liked her what should I do?

  8. avatar ms fae says:

    I have a crush on a girl…I got these feelings in college (we knew each other before but I didn’tlike her that way then.) It sucks beca she thinks it is a total JOKE. I always try to get over my feelings because they confuse me, but I feel really protective around her like I want to live with her (???) And be on top *blush* which I am not like when I am with guys, at all. When she is around all I can think about is how beautiful she is. I saw her recently after about a year and my feelings were still strong. I was sad to see her leave when she went home. It totally messes up my relationships with men I have broke up with guys just to see if she’s interested which she is not. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Why is this happening.

  9. avatar Kiki says:

    I’ve had a crush on my best friend for a while and I told her I kinda liked her sometime last year. She’s at my house right now and she’ll be staying over tonight and tomorrow night. Tomorrow will be the last day I see her and I’m nervous. She’s moving away next week so she’ll probably never come back. She has a boyfriend and she doesn’t really seem like the person who would have feelings for the same sex. I want to at least kiss her once before she leaves. I’m scared and nervous. Should I ask? What should I even say? What if I make things awkward? Please help.

  10. avatar phoebie says:

    Once in a while a girl stepped in the café i was working the last two semesters. We never really spoke with each other as both of us are more of the shy/introvert type. I didn’t really like working at this place but she was literally my only motivation to keep up with this job. Every time I hoped so much she would show up. Although we didn’t speak much she would make my day at this place and I always started feeling so nervous and blushing when speaking to her. And then, eventually, we exchanged Facebook names. She was my very first crush on a girl and I didn’t know if she is Bi but certainly not Les. I was very eager to meet her and we eventually hooked up two times. We were drinking a lot and it was so much fun! But still I think that she doesn’t put so much effort in getting to know me or meeting me. She seems so busy and kind of the loner type. Tough, she told me that we have a special kind of non-lesbian love?!? WTF. So i stopped messaging her as I feared to appear creepy and pushy. We haven’t seen each other in a month and I know she is going to move out of the country soon. I wished I had just kissed her this evening. And if we would ever talk to each other again I’d just tell her what I felt during this time. In the end, we won’t see each other ever again and I wouldn’t care so much about her reaction.

  11. avatar msshy says:

    There girl be like and I’m really nervous when get around her but don’t know if she bisexual sometime she look me and smile. I’m scared to talk to her cause don’t want to spread around the school and go trying write notes to her scared she show to someone

  12. avatar Kitty says:

    Up until 6 months ago, I was sure that I was straight, but then I started to crush on a good friend of mine, who I get the train to school with, and I can’t stop thinking about her. I think she likes me but only as a friend. I get really nervous around her and I just want to confess to her, but I have 3 or 4 years left in high school and I’m afraid if she rejects me that she will tell everyone and they will make fun of me. I’m just so confused.

  13. avatar Jen says:

    I have a huge crush on a female I see every once in a while. I am very shy so I tend to be quiet when I’m around her. I try hard to fight and forget what I feel towards her but I just can’t get her out of my head.

  14. avatar lee says:

    im in high school and its this girl ive been crushing on for months now
    and she gives me signs i guess sometimes
    but thats still not enough for me to officially know if she likes me like i like her..
    i cant stop thinking about her shes driving me crazy
    im too young to feel so depressed and sad its almost
    like shes teasing me .i wish these feelings would just go away
    already! and plus im in the closet (bisexual at least i think)
    but if i told her how i feel ithink she would out me i need help!

    • avatar heather says:

      What kind of signs does she give? Maybe shes afraid of her feelings or sexuality.. maybe hang out alone wih her and see how she acts

  15. avatar heather says:

    Im straight always been straight but recently i suddenly have developed a hardcore crush on a female coworker and i dont know what to do she is straight too. But whenever i see her my heart starts racing i sometimes run and hide i cant stop thinking about her we dont work in the same area thank god but all i can do is admire from afar

  16. avatar heather says:

    Im straight always been straight but recently i sudden

  17. avatar gabe price says:

    A senior girl has a crush on me what do I do

    • avatar Iqra says:

      well if you like her then you could consider going out with her.
      But if you don’t you could nicely reject her which might not be pretty.

  18. avatar Madrea says:

    I have a crush on a straight girl right now, im a lesbian. its the worst thing ever. dont do it. it hurts to have a crush on someone who will probably never like you, but to have a crush on someone who just doesnt like girls as a whole…IT SUCKS.

  19. avatar Ann says:

    I have a crush on a female coworker. We’ve gotten a little close, every once in a while I flirt with her but very casually. I don’t have the guts to ask her if she’s ever experimented or had a crush on a girl. I’m afraid she would immediately know that I like her like that and I would be so embarrased if she rejected me. And since we work together it would make things weird. But man, I can’t stop thinking about her. She really makes me want to be a better person. That sounds like a cliché but its really how it is for me. I would love to tell her one day.

    • avatar Kat says:

      Ann — I can understand how you feel :) I play roller hockey with a group of girls — many of them are lesbians — and we are all casual friends. One in particular I think I have a crush on. I doubt she feels in any way like that about me — I am both straight and happily married while she is a lesbian and single. But lately being around these girls and talking more about their lifestyle has piqued my curiosity about what it would be like to kiss and/or experiment with a girl. However, I am starting to feel like I wouldn’t want to do this with any girl — just her specifically. I have no idea if I could ever seriously approach her but I think I could maybe one day — after a few drinks — tell her that if I was to ever try anything out with a girl, it would be her. I just wouldn’t want it to make the friendship we have awkward.

    • avatar Jenni says:

      I am straight girl have a crush on girl, she is my cowoker , i know she is Lesbian . It started nine month ago , i can’t stop thinking about her , i like her so much that i can not put into words . We talk sometime when her friends are not around. but i cannot tell her how i feel. I am so scared of rejection. Now i am in situation that i have already explain to her . But this situation i am now , it has not change the way i feel about her . I am so worried in few month time i will not be able to see her, i wish she makes a first move and talk to me or exchange her mobile number with me so that we can be in touch . I like her so much.

    • avatar Jenni says:

      I am straight girl have a crush on girl, she is my cowoker , i know she is Lesbian . It started nine month ago , i can’t stop thinking about her , i like her so much that i can not put into words . We talk sometime when her friends are not around. but i cannot tell her how i feel. I am so scared of rejection. Now i am in situation that i have already explain to her . But this situation i am now , it has not change the way i feel about her . I am so worried in few month time i will not be able to see her, i wish she makes a first move and talk to me or exchange her mobile number with me so that we can be in touch . I like her so much.

      • avatar LJ says:

        I had a similar problem, too. All through my life, for each life stage, I would find a beautiful girl and feel drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I would admire her and let her treat me like cr*p, if she was the type to do so. I’d do anything for them, and an immense attachment to them would form quite quickly. I have a strong attraction to boys, so I usually pushed the feelings for girls aside, until two years ago, when I met an extraordinary girl and found I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was older, wiser and infinitely interesting. I passed it off as admiration for her, called it falling in friend-love, but it became less and less platonic. When I admitted to myself I had a crush on her, it was very scary and overwhelming. It was hard, because I had to figure myself out whilst grinning and bearing our friendship when the girl talked to me about her own unrequited feelings for another person. I never told her. Sometimes I regret that particular decision, but it’s probably for the best, as we’re drifting apart anyway.

        I suppose I’m glad it happened, because it really made me analyse some of my life choices and thought processes :) It also made me realise that I do not need to be hanging on someone’s arm all the time, hoping for them to notice me like some martyr. I am a whole person, and I deserve to be loved. Anyway, it was not a phase, I have a lasting attraction to girls and identify as bisexual, though at my age, it’s hard to be taken seriously.

        It was a long road, but I feel like I’ve reached my destination. So hold on tight and keep going, it may be a passing thing or it may not be, but whatever will be, will be – and you are not broken. This is a natural part of puberty, with all of those stupid hormones making us feel all these weird emotions XD It’ll be okay.

        Signed,
        A girl who finally feels okay.

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