10 Tips On What To Do When You Have A Crush On A Girl

I read through all of the questions and comments you girls send to Gurl.com (keep ’em coming!) and recently, I’ve noticed that a lot of you seem to be sharing a similar problem: you have a crush on a girl (usually a friend), but you’re afraid to tell her and also, you’re freaking out a little bit because you thought you were straight but does this mean you’re a lesbian? Whew. It all seems very stressful.

If you’re going through this right now, don’t panic! You are definitely not alone and there is definitely nothing wrong with you having a crush on another girl, whether it means you’re bisexual, a lesbian or just a straight girl with a crush. Even celebrities have been in your shoes! In a recent interview with Entrevue magazine, Katy Perry said: “When I was 15, I fell in love with a female friend. I thought she was beautiful and wanted to be like her. She had such a huge impact on my life, but I never told her how I felt.”

Does that sound familiar? If so, read on for 10 tips on what to do when you have a crush on another girl. Having more than friendly feelings about a BFF can be scary and intimidating. Figuring out how to deal with your feelings can be really difficult. That’s why we’re here – to give you a helping hand and to remind you that, no matter what, there’s nothing wrong with this crush.

Have you ever had a crush on a girl? What did you do? Would you ever tell a girl you had a crush on her? What advice did I miss? Tell me in the comments.


How do I tell other guys I’m bisexual?

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  • PurpleProgramming

    Um hey, i have a crush on this girl who does drama classes with me every saturday and for a long time, almost two years maybe, she’s made my heart beat faster and gave me the butterflies and makes me so happy and when i see her i just feel so in love and it took me a long time to admit it to my friends… just i dont know what to do, we hang out a lot, and lately since i came out to my friends and feel more comfortable we have been hanging out way more and she comes to me for romantic scenes she needs to practice and the other day when we ran out of chairs she so nervously offered for me sit on her lap, theres a ton more, but am i reading into it way too much? what should i do?

  • NC

    So I’m in high school and I definitely like boys but I might like girls and the problem is I may be biased because I *wish* I liked girls and I may just be imagining it. I think love between two people of the same gender is equal or even superior to love between two people of different genders so I may be trying to be attracted on purpose. Everyone I know would be totally supportive if I was bi or pan, but I don’t know if I am. Yeah.
    Also the girl I might be crushing on is out and pansexual, and she might not even like me like that. And I might not even like her. And I’m youngish, so I’m not sure about everything about myself, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever know. That worries me.

  • Lena

    Ok here is my story. I am pansexual and have had this huge crush on this girl, to be honest it has gone beyond a crush by now and i actually think im in love with her. I have known her for almost 7 years (she is my neighbour) and we are really close. Our friendship always has been really touchy and she has touched me (through clothes) in places that friends shouldn’t really touch. It has been a year now since i first started crushing on her and I really don’t know what her feelings are for me. Before i came out as pan to her, she asked me what my sexuality was because she knew i had been confused for quite a long time. I remember asking her if she was questioning my sexuality or if she was questioning hers and she said “yours, but it bothers me because of mine” and then she said that she had been thinking about it for a while. So i really don’t know what to do. Hopefully she might realise she is queer (because i definitely see it) but is there any way i can help her find out? I haven’t told her i like her like that but i have a feeling she knows….anyway, what should i do? Any tips?

  • Sabrina t

    Hai, so I’m into this girl and we are friends but not like best friends just good friends. We were in this play production together and it’s been fun. That’s when I realized I really liked her. I’m already openly pan with everyone and she knows that. Me her and a friend once had a conversation with her and she said she’s straight. So I’m not sure whether I should even think about confessing to her. But I do want to get a lot closer to her so I got her phone number. We’ve had a few chats but they were generic and about school events. I was thinking of inviting her over so I could get some closer one on one time with her. Although even if I do, do this. Should I ask her out? Summer’s here and since she’s a year younger than me I’ll be moving to the senior high while she’ll be staying in junior. So I want to spend lots of time with her this summer and I am wondering wether I should confess it to her once she’s come over a couple of times or just keep the status quo. She’s really a calm person and I know 2 of my other friends ( also girls) also have a crush on her. Please help me.

  • antisocial_introvert

    I’m a junior in high school and I just found out this year that I’m bisexual because I usually like guys and I never liked a girl before until this year. I have a crush on a Muslim girl and I honestly think she’s the prettiest girl in school. I’m a introverted person so I feel extremely nervous around her. I have anxiety about alot of things but every morning I walk into school I feel really nervous knowing that I’m going to see her (she is in my first period class and we’re both juniors) I see a therapist and she said that I should become friends with her but I get so nervous around her I fail to even say hi to her and I happen to stare at her alot sometimes I feel like I’m dying PLEASEEEE HELP!!!!!!!!
    PS I’m was listening “here” alessia cara while typing this

  • Layoya

    I like this girl at first I didn’t pay much attention but when our eyes lock to each other it was like I couldn’t get her out my mind. the thing is we became friends I ask her simple questions and she awnser… we sometimes lock eyes …I think she know I like her cuz most of the time she catches me stareing at her idk …but yesterday at work she ask me if i was cheating on her playfully ….the thing is that she saw me talking to another girl but when she ask me about cheating she didn’t mention her she mentioned guy’s name what should I do? Does she even like me too

  • Jamie

    I really like this girl, I see her all the time in school, and I have certain reasons to believe she likes girls. I’m not friends with her yet, but I’m close friends with a lot of her friends. I’m scared to admit these feelings to anyone because I know for a fact I’ll get judged, so how do I go about this situation if I don’t want anyone to know?

  • Angel

    This girl in high school 5 years ago was picking on me because I liked her boyfriend and called me everytime I see her in the hallway by “Ms.Terrell and she was mean to others and I helped her through not being mean to me and other people and then I realized this girl probably deep down liked me. So in at the end of the school year in the summer of 2011 she declared her feelings for me and asked me out then she forced me to like her. I started to developed a little crush on her as well and we kissed but it was for a good reason so she could stop being so mean to me but it worked and to date even though we are both out of high school we still have a crush on each other.

    • Angel

      i dont even like girls but I just have a crush on this girl in my story.

  • hollie

    I am really confused I have a HUDGE crush on my best friend and idk how tell her and plus she broke up with her bf the other day Help!!❕

  • Lost

    So I met this woman at a party and I just clicked with her. The thing is though, that I am married and have a daughter. My husband is also having some sexual preference questions. I want to talk to her again but I think she has a girlfriend. I Don’t know if I want to be friends with her or what but I can’t get her out of my mind.

  • iKalamity

    Gah, I keep getting crushes on girls. (I’m asexual, but not aromantic, so I’m pretty sure these are squishes.) It’s really quite annoying, because if I get too close to a really pretty girl and they’re really sweet and stuff, I suddenly want to be the one they grow old with. It’s even worse when she flirts only with girls and at you specifically.. so confusing. She has denied all romantic advances from guys and only flirts with girls and says flippant “I love you”s all the time. How am I meant to know?

  • ruby

    I’m in secondary school and I have a crush on this girl I’ve known since year 7 (I’m in yr 10). I have a boyfriend but we’re both really awkward and I think it might be because I’m actually a lesbian, but I don’t want to break up with him in case I’m not because he’s a really sweet guy. But I’ve had this crush on the girl for almost a year now and we are always jokingly flirting with each other. I can’t work out weather she’s dropping hints or not and she is my best friend and the only one I would feel comfortable talking about this with. What do I do???

    • ruby

      Update: my boyfriend broke up with me saying he was bi and then my crush told me that she thought she was bi too and I admitted the same. I’m still really stuck on this should I tell her I have a crush on her?

      • Kath

        If it’s something undeniable, of course you should

        • ruby

          Thanks I know I should just tell her… but I’m a little stuck on the “how?”…

    • Yukinora899

      Maybe think about a decision, if you really do like this girl and you feel a little weird with this guy, the best decision is to maybe break up with the guy, I mean I’m only 13 and I had this same problem with my best friend. Are you and this girl really close, do you know if she likes girls to, if so that’s a great step! And think to your self if these feelings are really true to yourself, ok, well if you need more than you can email me at yukinora899@gmail.com. Ok, thanks!

  • Dawn Blaine

    I like my best female friend. I am use to guys but i managed to get close with her. Im very good friends with her boyfriend and our kids have play dates together. I have already told her that i have feelings for her and even openly flirted with her at work (i failed to mention we work together). I have expressed my feeling ls to her, even do far to asking her on a date and saying such things to her like “if you weren’t with your boyfriend would you give me a chance to be with you?” She has told me yes and also mentioned that if it weren’t for the birh of their child, they wouldn’t be togeher. I give her massages, we text and talk on the phone everyday. She has this thing with not letting anyone touch her feet, even her boyfriend but she let me give her a foot massage. There are also the looks she gives me that melts me in every which way. Im not so sure if she does it on purpose or if she doesn’t realize what she says and how she acts with me. I have even gone to the lengths of letting her know that i am going to kiss her and that we will be together at the end of this year. I feel like im in high school and i cant control my feelings when it comes to her. I have tried to move on and even informed her that i dont want her to hurt me even if it unintentionally and she gets sad and always says i will never hurt you. I really don’t know what to do in this situation and we havee even come to the point where i almost kissed her at work and in her house on her couch while my brother had her boyfriend drive me somewhere for an hour or two. The only reason we didn’t kiss was because her roommate came out of her room and he parted fast. I just want to know from anyone if i should i stop being the female’s friend because of my feelings for her and my desire to not only be with her but to do something sexual as well. The other day i full on checked her out, i didn’t care who saw me do it. Im really confused about everything.

    • lissaoxx

      It sounds too me that she’s into you too. Just talk about it. Find some time alone

  • Madie

    I like guys, like I really like them. However, recently I have caught feelings for a girl on my swim team. We never really have even talked but something about her made me super attracted to her! On top of it all I think she is straight! But I really like her and i don’t know what to do, someone help!

  • Keane



    I was drawn to a woman security guard the first time we met. I was not sure what it was. The next time I saw her she was very friendly, not aggressive and very personable. She pet my cat and has a thing for tabby cats. Then she saw my maine coon cat and flipped out. She saw how important my animals are to me and shared a video clip of her chickens with me. The look on her face was familiar, she loved her animals as well. My intuition told me that she may have grown up on a farm. She seemed to be really interested in the people in the community and I was simply one of them. She had an energy of assertion, compassion and safety. It had a profound effect on me. I was like a moth to her flame.
    There is no lust and no come ons that I would recognize. She just had this incredible light in her calm assertive energy. I remember when I first saw her, I thought she was a he. She is attractive physically as I am attracted to men and I don’t mean that as SHADE, just being honest. It was not about her appearance.
    The second time that I saw and spoke to her, she stayed and talked to me for about an hour during her patrol in my area. I had to make an excuse to cut the conversation. That evening I could not get her off my mind. I was not having lustful thoughts about her, but I could just see her with this light around her. WEIRD! I know.
    I was not sure if I was having a crush on her or what. Then I saw her again and it seems to always be happenstance. I don’t expect to see her, but I do. She walked past my house and my door was open because I was on the porch and got up to turn my dinner off on the stove. In that 10 seconds, she tapped on the door to check on me. When I came out of the kitchen, she said I was worried that something may have happened to you. I told her I was okay. She smiled in relief. The first time I noticed her dimples and that beautiful smile.
    Next time I saw her, she knocked on the door. I was surprised. She asked if my cat was in the house because she was on patrol and saw a tabby that looked like mine and she wanted to make sure, so she did not have to deliver bad news to me. I went to the stair case and called my cat, then he came and I told her it wasn’t him. She said thank God! I didn’t know that she even remembered me and my cats. But she did.
    By this time I am loosing it with these feelings that I cant explain. I asked myself if I wanted to be her friend, and the answer was NO, I wanted to be her GIRL! I finally said it out loud. Then I cried. I could only imagine walking on the beach with her holding hands. That physical contact alone was a lot. What do I do? I don’t know. Get over it and move on, its just a crush. She doesn’t feel the same.
    I put it in the back of my mind. I walked to the corner store and there she was patrolling. She had a male co worker with her this time that I had not seen before. I walk into the store after saying hello. When I came out of the store, she asked me about my cats, I said they are fine. I asked about her chickens and her partner said, YOU know about those chickens too!.” As I walked past her, I looked back and she looked in straight in the eye and winked at me twice. Looked at me up and down and smiled.
    Every time I want to get her out of my head something new happens to confirm she may like me too. What do I do? Maybe I am wrong and I didn’t see what I saw. When she looked at me, it was like she looked at my soul. WEIRD, I know.
    I saw her three more times since the winks. I had a day that I said not going there and I will put this person out of my mind. God, if this is real please give me a sign or please release her from my mind.
    I walked to the store right before the sun was going down. She was at the store patrolling, and I called her name, that I just learned 1 week prior. She looked back and saw it was me. She blushed and walked up to me and stood so close to me I thought she was going to hug me. She asked about the cats and told me the chickens were finally laying eggs. She shows me the eggs on her phone. I said where are the eggs you promised, she said with a smirk, I am going to give them to you. I said hurry up so I can bake you a cake, as I tapped her arm with my elbow. I thought my head was going to pop off. She continued to blush and went off with her partner. WOW! I think it may be mutual. I was convinced.
    You could not wipe the smile off my face. I was on cloud 9. I knew I didn’t have a crush, dare I say the L word. I LIKED her and wanted to get to know her.
    I saw her the next day on a security matter. Her energy was different that morning. Later that same day, I called her at work and asked if I could speak with her about something non work related when she got off. She said sure and she could walk to my house at 6:30 when her shift was over. She came over and I was so nervous, I could not talk. CRAZY! OMG! She played with my cat and looked at me like I was going to do something totally crazy. Maybe I did. She said spit it out. Somehow I did not take offence to her saying that to me. So I said I like you. Not as a friend, I like you. I have never felt this way about a woman before in my life. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but I am sure I like you. I told her about her energy and how bright and calming it is to me and when I see her, she brightens my day. I said that from seeing her during this short period of time, I see you have a deep love for animals as if you grew up on a farm. I added that her energy made me feel especially safe, as if there was nothing to worry about. I have a sense that you have a passion for protecting people and animals. I feel it is your gifting.
    She looked at me and smiled. She took in what I said and shared that she grew up on a farm in Ohio, and she was a police officer and she always looked out for others. She then said that she was flattered, and that she was In a relationship, and she admired my confidence in sharing how I felt with her. WOW!
    She shared that she dated men and her long term relationships were always with women. She however, doesn’t call herself gay. I found that surprising.
    I needed to get it off my chest. I don’t quite know what I expected from her. Needless to say, after be quit candid, seeing her after that day would yield 10 tons of ackwardness and wall she put up. Her energy is no longer the same. Now she patrols with a female co worker, that I suspect is the relationship she said she was in.
    It is hard to see her. It hurts like I was in a relationship and we broke up. WEIRD! I may have shared something that she needed to hear, lord knows I needed to say. I am now in this no mans land. I somewhat regret saying anything to her. Now I have to face the pain. It felt like her looks to me were real. Maybe they were and it caught her off guard that I would call her on it. Who knows. She will always be the one that got away.

    • Dawn Blaine

      Wow, your story touched me and im sorry about tour broken heart. I to am missing my crush. She is on a trip with her boyfriend.

    • Mark Nelson

      Wow. I applaud your bravery and honesty. I wish more people would just tell their love interest how they feel. At least you got it out there instead of bottling it up and always asking what if. You are my hero for the next week.

  • justine

    um enx guys fr ur stories it rly helpd me a lot