Picture this: you meet a great guy. He’s funny, smart, cute and makes you weak in the knees. You guys have been hanging out for a while and you’re pretty sure he likes you just as much as you like him, so you decide to take the plunge and have The Talk. That’s when he says the one thing you didn’t want to hear him say: he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. Why? He’s not into the whole commitment thing. UGH.
Lately, it seems like there are tons of guys out there who are afraid of commitment and, to be honest, it can get pretty frustrating. For those of us that just want a significant other, it’s easy to wonder what the hell is so scary about committing to someone?! Unfortunately, the answer isn’t always so easy. There are a few reasons a guy might be scared of commitment, including reasons you probably don’t want to hear. But if you’re wondering what the eff is going on, keep reading. Here are 8 possible reasons he’s afraid of commitment.
He Doesn't Like YouOur editor Julie firmly believes that commitment-phobes don't exist. She thinks that when guys say, "I'm afraid of commitment," it's really just a lame excuse they're using because they don't want to tell you the truth: they just don't want to date you. Most of the time, I have to agree with Julie. Saying you don't like committing is much easier than explaining your true feelings. And truthfully, I think that if a guy REALLY likes you, he will date you. No questions. But I do think commitment-phobia is real at the same time. So this is just one possible reason. Source: ShutterStock
He's Hooking Up With Other GirlsIt's totally possible that this guy is a big player who is fooling around with other girls besides just you. Inside of telling you this, he'll tell you he doesn't want a commitment - probably because he really doesn't, because right now he's getting more than his fair share. If you suspect this is happening, run away. You may never get him to commit. Source: ShutterStock
He's Not Ready For A Relationship YetSometimes, people really aren't ready for commitment. Relationships take a lot of work and are a pretty big deal - it takes a while for some people to be ready to take that step. Whether it's because he's not over his ex or because he just doesn't want to settle down and "hold himself back," your crush might know he's not ready to seriously date you yet. You can give him time if you want, but I personally think waiting around for someone is a waste of time. Source: ShutterStock
He's Too ImmatureHave you noticed anything, uh, childish about your crush lately? The reason he might not want a commitment is because he REALLY might not be ready because he's just way too immature. Like I said before, saying you're afraid of committing is a convenient excuse for not being in a relationship. This guy could just be way too immature to be your boyfriend. Source: ShutterStock
He Was Hurt In A Past RelationshipSometimes dudes really are freaked out by commitment because they've been hurt in the past. When guys get hurt, they get really hurt. And because most guys are conditioned to believe that they can't express their emotions or talk about how sad they are, they keep everything bottled up inside. Then those feelings come out in other ways, especially in future relationships. Maybe his ex really hurt him or broke his heart and he's genuinely afraid to open up and be vulnerable with someone else. If this is the case, you may have a chance at a relationship if you take things slow. Source: ShutterStock
He Has Been Dealing With Family IssuesA lot of times, children with divorced parents or other similar family issues have relationship issues of their own when they're older. If his parents had a really bad relationship, he might be afraid to be in one himself because he's seen firsthand how bad things can get. I've dated a guy in this situation and what I've learned is that you need to take things slowly and try to accept his pain. Source: ShutterStock
He Doesn't Want A Relationship With YOUHere comes another hard truth: this guy might not be afraid of commitment - he just doesn't want it with you. Maybe he likes you and thinks you're cool to hang with and hook up with, but he doesn't see you as full-on girlfriend material. It's a classic scenario: he tells you he doesn't want a commitment, you end things and a few weeks later, he has a new girlfriend. It stinks, but we all go through it. Source: ShutterStock
He Has Trust IssuesFor whatever reason, whether it's an old relationship, his family, seeing a friend go through a crappy breakup or whatever, your crush might have serious trust issues going on. If that's the case, of course he's going to shy away from commitment. He doesn't want to trust anyone, which is a huge part of committing to someone. Again, if this is the case, take things slowly. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever had a crush on someone who said they were afraid of commitment? Are you afraid of commitment? Tell us in the comments.