When I was in high school, I found myself in one of the most awkward, uncomfortable situations ever: a new friend who I had grown really close to had started crushing on my boyfriend, who I had been dating for three years. I met my friend, because she was dating one of my boyfriend’s friends. When they broke up, she started spending a lot of time with my BF and I, growing closer to both of us.
It didn’t take long for me to figure out that she was crushing hard on my boyfriend – and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. At first, I tried to stay friends with her since I genuinely cared about her as my BFF. But after a while, I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Her crush drove us apart and we stopped speaking entirely. Two years later, the same exact thing happened with another, different best friend. This time, the situation was so bad that I broke up with my boyfriend and got in a huge, dramatic fight with said friend.
So, it’s safe to say that I know how to tell if your friend has a crush on your boyfriend. There are some telltale signs that you might want to ignore, because you don’t want to lose either of them, but you shouldn’t. Things can get very tricky very fast… trust me.
She Starts Getting Cold and Distant With YouIf your friend starts getting distant and weird with you out of nowhere, that means something is going on. If she's feeling jealous or resentful of your relationship, she'll probably show it in this way. I know that when one of my friends started crushing on my BF, she suddenly started being mean to me - she acted like she was joking, but I knew she wasn't. She would also make fun of me in front of my BF to make me look bad and cancel plans on me at the last minute. If she's distant for no other reason, it could be because she feels guilty or she just can't deal with being around you. Source: ShutterStock
She Flirts With HimUnless your friend is just a naturally flirty person, this is a pretty big sign that she's crushing on him at least a little bit. Your friends should never be flirting with your BF - that's rude. If she's doing it, it might be because she can't help herself or she's trying to steal him away from you. Source: ShutterStock
She Constantly Defends HimSee what your friend does whenever you complain about your boyfriend to her. If she is constantly on his side defending him, that's a sign that her alliance has shifted. Your friends obviously don't have to always agree with you, but they should generally be on your side most of the time. When my friend Tina liked my boyfriend, she was SO defensive of him. Any time I would complain about him, she would get annoyed with me and tell me I was wrong. And when the three of us together, she would always agree with him over me... it was a very obvious sign that she had a crush. Source: ShutterStock
She Seems Uncomfortable Around You TwoIt's normal to feel a little awkward as the third wheel, but pay close attention to how your friend acts every time she's around you and your boyfriend. If she seems very uncomfortable every time, it could be because she's jealous. When my BF and I hung out with my friend J, she would get weird and quiet half the time and the other half of the time, she would be doing anything she could to get his attention. Source: ShutterStock
She Talks To Him On Her Own, Without You AroundThis is a biggie, especially if your friend wasn't friends with your BF before you started dating him. If you've noticed that your friend has been texting your BF on her own or talking to him whenever you're not around or even hanging out with him without you, that probably means she likes him. Your friends shouldn't be texting YOUR boyfriend all the time - that's rude and disrespectful. I remember the day I realized my friend T liked my BF: I looked through her camera and found about 20 pictures of the two of them, taken one day when I wasn't around. I knew right then and there that she had a crush. Source: ShutterStock
She Talks Badly About You To HimI realized my friend J had a serious crush on my BF the day she went to the mall with him and spent the entire time talking crap about me to him. The only reason a friend would be stupid enough to say bad things about you to your BF is if she has an agenda, like trying to make you look bad. I told her we couldn't be friends anymore the next day. Source: ShutterStock
She Either Tries To Get You To Dump Him or Constantly Tells You How Lucky You AreDoes your friend jump at the chance to tell you you should dump your BF? Bad sign. Every time I told my friend J that I was fighting with my boyfriend, she would immediately tell me we weren't right for each other. It felt off, like she was trying to push me into something too quickly. On the other side of things, she might constantly tell you how luck you are to be dating him. This is what my friend Tina did - she was always gushing about how great my boyfriend was, how jealous she was of our relationship and how lucky I was for meeting him. Warning, warning! A few times is sweet, more than that is overboard. Source; ShutterStock
She Doesn't Tell You Why She's In A Bad MoodA friend who likes your BF might sometimes get in sad or bad moods and when you ask her what's going on, she'll try to dodge the subject or give you a lame excuse you know isn't true. This is what my friend Tina did to me - she would make sad statuses and then when I would ask her what was wrong, she would either avoid me or blow it off. If your friend does this, she probably does it because she's sad about her crush on your BF, but obviously can't talk to you about it. Source: ShutterStock
Your Other Friends Notice SomethingSometimes it's easy to feel like you're just being paranoid or jealous because you don't want to lose your boyfriend and then you start to doubt yourself. But a good sign that your friend has a crush is if other people notice it as well. They're not going to make that stuff up for no reason. All of my other friends noticed when both J and Tina had crushes on my boyfriend. I felt more sure of my suspicions knowing I wasn't the only one having them. Source: ShutterStock
She Isn't Dating AnyoneUsually, if your friend is crushing on your boyfriend, she'll be single and not even showing any interest in anyone else. This happened to me with both J and Tina. With J, she broke up with her boyfriend and then immediately started liking mine. With T, she wasn't crushing on anyone the whole time we were friends... probably because she already had a crush. Source: ShutterStock
Do you think one of your friends has a crush on your boyfriend? Has this ever happened to you? What happened? Tell me in the comments.