I’ve Never Been Kissed – How Can I Fake Being A Good Kisser?

Hey Heather!

I need advice, obviously. I’ve never been kissed and my crush just told me that he’s going to kiss me when I see him in a couple of days. I’m excited but so nervous because I don’t know what to do! I have no idea if I’m a good kisser, probably not. How do I fake it to act like I know what I’m doing?

That’s so exciting! It’s totally normal to feel this way about your first kiss – nerves are basically part of the deal, but that’s part of what makes it so memorable. You shouldn’t feel like you have to be the world’s best kisser, though, so don’t put so much pressure on yourself!

However, I can understand that you want to look like you know what you’re doing. The truth is, figuring out how to kiss is a learning experience. Very few people are great kissers right away because, when it comes to making out, practice makes perfect and the best way to learn is by doing. So while I can’t tell you the exact formula to be an amazing kisser, I can give you some tips on how to go about the situation.

1) Bring mints along on the date. Pop one in your mouth (and consider subtly offering him one, too) once in a while. Stay away from gum because if he kisses you out of nowhere, things will get messy quickly. 2) Start out slowly with a few soft kisses, then go into adding tongue. 3) Know that a little tongue action can make a kiss much better, but too much tongue can make a kiss too slobbery and wet. Be gentle with your tongue! 4) Use your hands instead of leaving them limp by your sides. You can put one hand on the side of his face, wrap your arms around his neck or put your hands in his hair if you want. Whatever comes naturally works! 5) Once you’re comfortable, don’t be afraid to get a little playful. Gently bite his bottom lip once in a while – not too much though.

The two most important tips? Go with the flow and have fun with it! You can’t predict how your kissing situation is going to pan out or how this guy is going to kiss – do what feels right and, if all else fails, mimic what he is doing. Once you’re into it, you’ll find that kissing is surprisingly easy and can come naturally. Relax and have a good time. Kissing should be fun, light and easy. It shouldn’t feel like you’re doing things by a manual, that’s too stiff.

Also, don’t be embarrassed that you’ve never kissed anyone before. You don’t have to tell this guy that this is your first kiss, but you totally can – it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have to start somewhere! If you’re feeling super nervous, just say something like, “I’ve never done this before,” and he’ll probably be more than happy to help you learn. But please don’t feel like you have to act like an expert in kissing just to impress him. Trying to be something you’re not is never a good idea.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com


10 crazy, interesting facts about kissing

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Serah

    There’s this guy I like .. And he likes me too ..(Well he said he loves me,but I think love is a strong word) … We had a fling together and there’s some game we played over the phone .. So he had to pick a number any random number and the number would like tell him what to do .. And he chose a number ,and with that number it said “kiss me every 30 minutes ,the next time you’re with me” I didn’t want to let him know what the instruction to that number was so I told him to pick another one (by the way he knew what the instructions were to all those numbers ) so he picked another one ,and it was also a kissing option .. And it read “kiss me passionately the next time you see me ” … And I told him to pick another one again and his like he won’t (lol,cos there wasn’t any other kissing option) and his like anyway you will kiss me the next time you see me …and I laughed to myself,cos how did he know that ,that number had something to do with kissing ,but like I’m really shy,cos I can’t kiss,I haven’t kissed at all … What if I screw everything up … I saw him at Walmart ,but I had to hide coz I didn’t want to embarress myself … And he asked me out on a date and I said yes ,that’s where I’m going to give him the kiss … At a bowling club ,and he said everytime I lose I owe him one ,and everytime he loses he owes me one ,and if he wins I should give him another one !!! Wish me luck guys

  • Serole reatlegile

    I dnt knw hw 2 kiss

  • Alyssa

    There was this first time I had a kiss. It was so kidly like romantic.
    Anyway jump to the point.
    I was 5 years old with my first boyfriend.
    He dressed kind of like a nerd with shorts and long white socks.
    he had beautiful blue eyes. I was in love and he was in love.
    During recess we would go under the slide and the whole time we would just rest together. Anyway one day he told me he loved me.I said th same. He told me to look up. So I did cause I was resting on his chest. so I did and he kissed me.no one ever kissed me before like that it was so magical and no one caught us.

  • ash

    so i went to this dance with my bf and we have never held hands before or slow danced. soo my friends kinda made us hold hands but he asked me 2 dance we slow dance for about 10 mins and held hands all they way 2 my house !

  • Sierra

    I remember my first kiss, and it was wonderful!

    I was in…6th grade, I think. I had a crush on this dorky, but adorable, little boy in my class and he was hilarious. I remember the day he asked me out…he asked one of my friends to deliver the news to me on the playground…and when I received it we all danced around crying in joy! How splendid it was to be a kid…anyways, we dated for a while, and a lot of our friends pressured us to kiss. It was also pretty cute because he was really short and I was super tall, but I didn’t mind lol! Back to the story, it was one day I was hanging out with him on the playground. We were sitting underneath this apple tree, and my friend was also sitting with us…although she didn’t get our hints that we wanted some privacy! So the first moment she walked away, my boyfriend looked to me and we were so awkward and nervous but it was sweet…and then eventually he said,

    “Oh hell..nobody lives forever.” and kissed me right then and there. It was a short kiss, but I’ll remember it forever.

  • Annabella

    My crush just said he wants to kiss me,but I said no,’cause I was nervous,I’ve never been kissed,and whenever I think about it,I feel like throwing up!
    Idk what to do when kissing,and I’m afraid that he won’t like it…What should I do?:(

  • Sarah

    I have been told to finger a boy but I don’t want to it because I have a boyfriend want do i do

  • Yvonne

    Oh my god i just had my first kiss yesterday and I’m 22!! But it was worth waiting for because it was absolutely perfect. He kissed me, so i didn’t do anything. But it was very slow at first and we frenched later on 😀

    I thought your first kiss was supposed to be long, and heavy, but my boyfriend wanted to go slow. It was perfect anyway. It’s more important that the guy you are with loves you.