I need advice, obviously. I’ve never been kissed and my crush just told me that he’s going to kiss me when I see him in a couple of days. I’m excited but so nervous because I don’t know what to do! I have no idea if I’m a good kisser, probably not. How do I fake it to act like I know what I’m doing?
That’s so exciting! It’s totally normal to feel this way about your first kiss – nerves are basically part of the deal, but that’s part of what makes it so memorable. You shouldn’t feel like you have to be the world’s best kisser, though, so don’t put so much pressure on yourself!
However, I can understand that you want to look like you know what you’re doing. The truth is, figuring out how to kiss is a learning experience. Very few people are great kissers right away because, when it comes to making out, practice makes perfect and the best way to learn is by doing. So while I can’t tell you the exact formula to be an amazing kisser, I can give you some tips on how to go about the situation.
1) Bring mints along on the date. Pop one in your mouth (and consider subtly offering him one, too) once in a while. Stay away from gum because if he kisses you out of nowhere, things will get messy quickly. 2) Start out slowly with a few soft kisses, then go into adding tongue. 3) Know that a little tongue action can make a kiss much better, but too much tongue can make a kiss too slobbery and wet. Be gentle with your tongue! 4) Use your hands instead of leaving them limp by your sides. You can put one hand on the side of his face, wrap your arms around his neck or put your hands in his hair if you want. Whatever comes naturally works! 5) Once you’re comfortable, don’t be afraid to get a little playful. Gently bite his bottom lip once in a while – not too much though.
The two most important tips? Go with the flow and have fun with it! You can’t predict how your kissing situation is going to pan out or how this guy is going to kiss – do what feels right and, if all else fails, mimic what he is doing. Once you’re into it, you’ll find that kissing is surprisingly easy and can come naturally. Relax and have a good time. Kissing should be fun, light and easy. It shouldn’t feel like you’re doing things by a manual, that’s too stiff.
Also, don’t be embarrassed that you’ve never kissed anyone before. You don’t have to tell this guy that this is your first kiss, but you totally can – it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have to start somewhere! If you’re feeling super nervous, just say something like, “I’ve never done this before,” and he’ll probably be more than happy to help you learn. But please don’t feel like you have to act like an expert in kissing just to impress him. Trying to be something you’re not is never a good idea.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org