That’s what y’all are talking about this week on the message boards. Let’s see what you had to say before I chime in!
“Well, so I like this one senior, and I’m a freshman. We’re in the same church choir, and we’ve talked multiple times on FB. At the same time, I also like a freshman whom I used to like. After some things, I didn’t like him, but I like him again this year. The senior is really nice and he’s also really friendly, and I sometimes see him looking my way and laughing and smiling when I say or do something. Is there something wrong if I like an older guy? Or should I just stick with the freshman guy who has totally made me feel terrible about myself before?”
“There is nothing wrong with liking an older guy. If you are a freshman and he is a senior you guys are only a few years apart, not a big deal. You should not stick with the freshman guy if he made you feel terrible before. Go for the senior, things may work out between you too.”
“There’s nothing wrong with liking and older guy. I’ve only ever dated older guys. I would do what makes you happy.”
I want to be very clear with you here: there is a big difference between liking an older guy in high school and liking a guy that is much, much older than you. My high school boyfriend was a few years older than me, but it was still legal as I was at the age of consent and he was not over 18. One of my friends was dating a guy who was almost 30 when we were 15. That was illegal since she was under the age of consent for our state nor was she a legal adult. It was statutory rape. She later recognized that and to this day she regrets that relationship.
That said, I think liking someone a few years older than you in high school is okay and normal. I just want to stress that it’s important to be sure you’re at the age of consent before really getting involved. My boyfriend now is three years older than me, but we’re both consenting adults so age really isn’t a factor.
I do think that you can date someone older than you in high school as long as your aware of these legal implications. For instance, if you’re a freshman, dating a senior who’s 18 can pose a legal issue. I think for the most part, if you’re in high school, the both of you are likely to be within legal reason.
I don’t want to sound like a parent, but I have to let y’all know about this stuff because it’s important. But when it comes to liking someone older, there are some things to remember. Don’t put them on a pedestal just because they’re older than you.
Also don’t assume that they’re more mature because everyone matures at different rates. Being older doesn’t automatically mean you’re wise and mature. If you’re dating someone older, it’s important to remember that they have a lot going on. Juniors and seniors are starting to think about college and have really intense workloads. They also want to spend time with their friends because their grade is going to split up when they go off to school. You can definitely have a successful relationship with an older guy if you’re aware of all of these things.
Have you ever liked someone older than you? How did you deal with it? Tell us in the comments!
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