So, I’ve been “talking” to this guy for about two months. When I say talking, I mean we’re in the process of being in an official relationship. I really, really like this guy. The only problem is, my parents won’t let me date. I’ve been wanting to tell my mother, but I just get so nervous every time I almost bring him up. How should I tell her? How can I get my parents to let me date? Please help!
Congrats on the almost-relationship, that’s exciting! As you know, nothing can put a damper on that excitement as much as your parents disapproval. They can make things extremely difficult for you if they want to. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try to talk them into being okay with you dating!
I know this sounds obvious, but you need to talk to your parents and be totally honest with them. Hiding your relationship is only going to make things worse – if they find out you’re lying and sneaking around, they’re going to flip out and then they’re definitely not going to be okay with you dating. It’s better to be upfront and open with them about this because it shows them that you respect them and care about what they have to say.
Approach your parents together or separately, whatever you think is best (I don’t know them, so I don’t know). Don’t beat around the bush. Tell them you met a really nice guy who you really like and you want to be in a relationship with. Say you know they’re not comfortable with you dating, so you were hoping to get their approval. Assure them that this won’t affect your grades or anything like that. Be open to the idea of introducing them to this guy – they’re probably going to want to meet him, so let him know that.
You should also be prepared to compromise on some stuff. They might say you can date him if you do certain things, like stick to a strict curfew, only see him on certain days, keep your grades up; stuff like that. I know that sounds unfair, but making compromises is often a great way to get what you want. If they offer up this stuff, agree. If they say “no way,” try to convince them by telling them you’ll make a compromise.
The main thing here is to stay calm and try to act as mature as possible. Whining, yelling or crying isn’t going to help you get your way. Talking things out and being flexible might. You can even offer to give them time to think about it if you want. Just focus on trying to show them how much this means to you and how you won’t let it mess up any part of your life. That’s probably what they’re worried about.
But even when you’re being mature, polite and totally flexible, there is still a good chance your parents might say no. If that happens, you can try to talk them into it over time… but at a certain point, you need to realize that you can’t always change their mind.
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