A while ago, I wrote a post about why you shouldn’t look through your boyfriend’s phone based on my own snooping experiences (something I’m still embarrassed about). It’s been over a year since that post went up, but it still gets tons of comments from girls who say that looking through your boyfriend’s phone is totally okay – in fact, they encourage it.
Girls, girls, girls. Trust me – snooping through your BF’s text messages is not okay! Honestly, I don’t care what kind of explanations you give me, there is really no excuse for going through a phone that isn’t yours. Please, please, cut this behavior out and read the reasons why it’s a terrible idea. I think, eventually, you’ll realize that you need to stop doing it for good… and your relationships will only improve after that.
It Totally Betrays His TrustProbably the biggest reason to not snoop through your BF's phone is that it totally and completely betrays his trust. If your boyfriend leaves his phone around you when he's not in the room, he obviously trusts you to be near his phone without getting sneaky. Trust is one of the most important qualities to have in a relationship. Going through his phone is rude and disrespectful. Which brings me to my next point... Source: ShutterStock
You Wouldn't Like It If He Did It To YouHow would you feel if you found out your boyfriend was secretly looking through your phone, reading all of your private text messages and checking up on your phone history? You'd probably feel pretty violated, annoyed and hurt. I once had an ex look through my texts when we first started dating. When he told me he did, I was so hurt by his accusations that I was doing something I shouldn't that I almost ended things. Treat others how you want to be treated, you know? Source: ShutterStock
It's Way Too Easy To Misinterpret ThingsText messages can be really hard to interpret because you're just looking at words - you're not seeing the person's expression or hearing their voice. What you read could mean something totally different than it sounds. Also, you don't know the context of every conversation because it's not YOUR conversation. You don't know if something is an inside joke or about something completely different than what you think. It's way too easy to misinterpret things and freak out for no reason at all. Source: ShutterStock
It Will Only Make You More ParanoidWhen people snoop, a lot of times they rationalize their actions by believing that just looking once will make them feel better - I know I did that once. The truth is, looking once will only make you even more paranoid. Like I said, things are too easy to misinterpret. You'll also spend a lot of time stressing about whether or not he's going to find out. Plus, it just leads to more snooping - you'll think, "oh I didn't find anything this time but maybe I should check once more." Or, you won't get caught and you'll think it's so easy that you can keep doing it. It's an endless cycle. Source: ShutterStock
If You Find Something, That Means You Get Caught and You Look Just As ShadyHave you thought about what you're going to do if you really do find something bad in his phone, like him flirting with another girl? There's no other way to confront him about that than to say, "I looked through your phone." How do you think he's going to react to that? He's going to get mad at you and probably call you crazy. It just makes YOU look bad. Source: ShutterStock
It Makes You Look InsecureBesides making you look crazy and shady, if you get caught, you'll also look really insecure. Feeling the need to look through his phone is a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem, neither of which are very attractive qualities. If your BF did nothing wrong and found out you snooped, he's going to get pissed, but also he's going to be totally frustrated with your lack of confidence. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Feel Really Guilty AfterwardsA lot of people think that after they snoop, they'll feel SO much better afterwards. But the truth is, you won't. Not only will it make you more paranoid, like I said before, but it will also make you feel really guilty, especially if you didn't find anything bad. When I looked through my BF's phone and found nothing, I felt horribly guilty for betraying his trust and going behind his back. That feeling isn't worth it. Source: ShutterStock
Snooping Doesn't Mean You're Establishing TrustIf you have to look through his phone to make you feel like you really can trust this guy... that's not a good sign. That means that you DON'T trust him because for some reason, you need him to prove it to you. If you're having trouble trusting your boyfriend for some reason, your best bet is to talk to him about it rather than go behind his back and be shady about it. Source: ShutterStock
It Won't Stop With The PhoneLike I said... snooping makes you feel more paranoid and sometimes, it can become almost like an addiction. You might start to feel like you NEED to do it more and more because you need to know what's going on. And if you think that will stop with just the phone, you're wrong. You'll start trying to get his social media and email passwords too. And that's not okay! Source: ShutterStock
It Probably Means You Shouldn't Be In The Relationship At AllThe bottom line is that looking through your boyfriend's phone means you don't trust him. And, like I said, trust is one of the most important parts of a relationship. If he has given you a reason to feel like you need to check up on him on your own, that means he may not be worth dating. If you just feel like you can't trust him even though he's done nothing wrong, that means you have some issues to work out and maybe you're not ready for a serious relationship. Again, if you're having trust issues, talk it out. Don't act shady. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever looked through your boyfriend’s phone? Do you still do it? Why did you do it? Tell me in the comments.