Things I’m Supposed To Be Insecure About But I’m Not

In today’s society, we’re never good enough are we? We’re constantly being told we’re too fat or too thin. That our boobs are too big or too small. That we need long hair, but wait, bobs are in. There is literally no way to fit the mold because the mold is always changing.

Regardless of that mold, we’re constantly given these things that we’re supposed to be insecure about. That doesn’t ever change. Honestly, I’m getting really sick of it.

I’m a very confident person, some days more than others. Even the most confident people have insecurities. But I’m done with being insecure about things that I’m “supposed” to be insecure about. Everyone keeps telling me things about myself that I should take offense to, but how about I don’t and we can call it a day?

My Skin

OMG seriously this is the number one thing because I am so over it. I don’t have perfect skin, as plenty of comments have pointed out. I’m aware, I see my face every single day. But you know what? I’ve been dealing with acne for half my life. These are the cards I’ve been dealt. I know a lot of people with great skin, but I don’t know anyone with perfect skin because it doesn’t exist. Everyone breaks out. (And P.S. the models I talked to during New York Fashion Week all had blemishes and problems with their skin too.)

I recently had a few bad breakouts because of a mix-up with my medication, and things are finally getting back to normal for me. So what if I have blemishes? I still think I look pretty awesome so I’m done with this nonsense.

Frizzy Hair

Curly hair tends to get frizzy more often than straight hair. It just does. My curls get crazy and poofy and frizzy. And you know what? I don’t care. There’s only so much I can do with my hair before the elements take over. If it’s a humid day, my hair will look either really good or really bad. I don’t have control over that.

Armpit Fat

You know when you stand with your arms by your side and there’s that excess skin where your chest meets your shoulder? That’s allegedly armpit fat. Or that’s what people call it. How stupid is it that we now have “fat” armpits?! Back in my cheerleading days I felt really self conscious about armpit fat because it was really visible in our uniforms. But guess what? Literally everyone has it. It’s just skin! If you didn’t have it, you would basically not have arms because that’s where your arms connect to your body.

My toes

My second toes are longer than my big toes. I heard a rumor once that this was a sign of royalty. I don’t know if that’s true or not. But a lot of people have toes longer than their big toes. This is totally normal. And why are people judging feet anyway? You really have nothing better to do than to judge what someone’s feet look like? Get real. Feet aren’t supposed to be cute, they’re supposed to be functional and, you know, get you places.

My weight

I’ve been dubbed “too thin” for my entire life. My fast metabolism caused people to ridicule me in school by telling me I had an eating disorder. I’ve never had an eating disorder. I love food! I have been blessed with a good metabolism, but I also lead a very active lifestyle. Being shamed for being too skinny is really hurtful because honestly, there is nothing I can do about it. But I apologize to everyone who has been negatively impacted by my weight. I can’t imagine the trouble it’s caused you in life. My bad.

So, I’m done. I’m not letting anyone tell me how I should feel about myself or how I look. And you should do the same. If I’m going to have insecurities, they’re going to be of my own doing and not someone else’s or society’s.

What are your dating deal-breakers? Do you have any to add to this list? Tell us in the comments!

Speaking of insecurities, are you comfortable being sexy on Halloween?

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Posted in: Body Image
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  • sweetxsour

    I’ve had awful skin since middle school and I wasn’t taught a thing about makeup unlike other girls so I stood out and of course was picked on. I only recently got my acne under control and I still don’t cake on the makeup because it makes my skin worse. So what?

  • Chantel

    This article is seriously my life. People would always tell me that I’m “too thin” or “need to gain weight”. But I finally learned to ignore those people and love myself. This is everything I’ve wanted to tell people. Thank you for writing this!

  • Ash

    So it’s not okay to fat-shame but people are allowed to skinny-shame? I used to get told I looked anorexic too, all the time. I still get upset about it because people make unintentional remarks about my weight but it’s not like I can help it! It just bothers me, sorry for the rant lol

  • parapet

    I think you should be grateful you have a fast metabolism and that you’re thin. Most people struggle with being thin and you’re really lucky.

  • SaSa

    You are too right. I have really fair skin, and because I was raised by dark skinned Hispanics, i always thought my skin was ugly. My hair also gets really frizzy, and i have a super fast metabolism. Now I love my skin, weight, and hair. I don’t care if I have acne, or get called anorexic. I take care of myself, and in the end, its my body ; not theirs!