Every Halloween there are a few movies that I have queued up on my must watch list. It should be needless to say that Hocus Pocus is one of them. I’ve been watching this movie on Disney Channel every year since I was a little kid, and it honestly never gets old.
This movie is formative because, believe it or not, it taught me a lot about sex. Yeah, this comedy horror movie gave me my first acknowledgement of virginity, presented me with one of the first scenes that I’ve ever realized was vaguely sexual and showed me that corsets are essential if I want my boobs to look as amazing as Sarah Jessica Parker’s some day.
Here are 10 moments from Hocus Pocus that changed my life and probably changed yours, too.
Max Pretending That His Pillow Was Allison's Luscious BodSo, I credit this scene for a very formative sexual awakening back when I was a kid. I remember thinking that this scene was so sexual and scandalous. This dude was really getting into his Allison fantasy until Dani surprised him. So we've got sexual fantasies and voyeurism...steamy. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
Discovering What A Virgin IsSo the Sanderson Sisters were supposed to come back to life if a virgin lit the black flame candle. As a kid, I had to wonder what the hell a virgin was and why Max qualified for this so called virgin role. I'm not sure when I figured out what a virgin was, but this movie left me with more questions than answers. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
YabosDani's word for boobs was yabos and I think that that should be everybody's word for boobs. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
Being A Smartass Gets You NowhereMax's skepticism about the validity of the Sanderson Sisters' existence led to his teacher calling him out for his "California, laid-back, tie-dyed point of view." I can relate, Max. I can relate. I too have a California, laid-back, tie-dyed point of view. We Californians are so misunderstood. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
Having A Crush On The CatOkay, let's be real: Thackery Binx in his snarky, bitter talking cat form was sort of hot as far as snarky, bitter talking cats go. I mean, I think that I was more attracted to that cat than the human form. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
Parents Are UselessUgh, it's so stressful when parents don't believe their children's story about homicidal witches coming to suck out the souls of all the children in town. This part of the movie always drives me up the wall. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
The MusicThe rendition of "I Put A Spell On You" was awesome, but that "Come Little Children" song was so creepy and haunting and totally convinced me that I'd be okay with Sarah Jessica Parker breathing in my life force so that she can retain her youth. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
The Best Bullies In The History Of FilmThese two jokers were the best. I mean, anytime you've got a bully trying to get people to call him by the nickname "Ice" then you've got some serious minor character gold. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
Sarah Jessica Parker's BoobsOne of the most memorable things about this movie was the ample cleavage that her costume offered us. They could practically have their own role, honestly. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
Wondering How The Hell This Was On Disney ChannelAs I got older and understood more of the innuendo in this movie, I couldn't help but wonder how this managed to air on Disney Channel. I know that back in the day, Disney Channel was a tad more risque back in the day, but still. Source: Hocus Pocus/Disney Pictures/Kissthegoodbye.net
What were your favorite Hocus Pocus moments? What other movies do you have to watch on Halloween? Tell us in the comments!