I used to have a friend who was a massive flake, and it was pretty much one of the most annoying things ever. In fact, the last time I talked to her, she flaked on brunch. She never had a good excuse and always cancelled at the very last minute. We had other problems as friends, but I just couldn’t handle her constant flakiness.
There’s nothing wrong with cancelling plans if it’s something you really don’t want to do, but there’s a right and wrong way to go about doing so. I’ll warn you though that if you’re always making plans and cancelling, even with a valid reason, invites to things are probably going to become more scarce. Why would someone ask you to hang out if you’re just going to cancel anyway?
That said, I have some helpful tips on cancelling plans without making your friends hate you.
First things first, you should always apologize when cancelling plans. Even if you're just cancelling because you have to do that thing with your mom that you forgot about, you still need to say sorry.
Always offer to reschedule! Make sure to do this on a date that you know for sure you're available so you don't end up having to cancel again.
Don't wait until the last minute to cancel plans. If you can't make it to a birthday party or something you RSVPed for, make sure to give plenty of notice. If you're cancelling on dinner plans or a weekend thing, at least give a few hours if you can.
Call, Don't Text
Text messages can be really hard to decipher because you can't hear tone. If you're cancelling on someone, it's best to call them so they can actually hear the sincerity in your voice instead of getting a "Can't make it-sorry" text.
This is probably one of the most important things! Don't lie and come up with some wacky reason why you can't see your friend. It will likely backfire. My friend bailed on me because she said she had to work last minute, and then she was posting Instagram pictures at the beach. Don't make up excuses. Just explain that you're not up for going anymore.
Don't Say You'll Make Up For It
The hyperactive "Oh my gosh I'll make this up to you I swear" cancellation feels really insincere and forced. It's best not to do it. If you're honest and polite about cancelling plans, you don't need to make up for anything.
If You Have To Go, Don't Be A Jerk
If you can't cancel on something you absolutely don't want to go to or you're obligated to go, don't be a jerk when you're there. Participate, have fun and don't act like it's a chore for you to be there.
Do you have any tips for cancelling plans? Do you have a flaky friend? Are you always cancelling? Tell us in the comments!