How young is too young to lose your virginity and start having sex? Normally, I would say that there is no set age to lose your virginity. You should start having sex when you are mature enough and feel ready to take that step and deal with the consequences that come with it. However, that doesn’t mean that there is no age that is too young to have sex and Chris Brown, of all people, just reminded me of that.
In case you haven’t heard, Chris Brown lost his virginity at 8-years-old. There are a lot of reasons I dislike Chris Brown and believe he isn’t worthy of any of the fame he has, but we won’t get into those right now because that would make for a very long post. However, this is the first time I’ve ever felt actual sympathy for him. In a recent interview with The Guardian, stated that he lost his virginity at 8-years-old to a girl who was 14 or 15-years-old. Yes, seriously.
According to The Guardian, “He lost his virginity when he was eight years old, to a local girl who was 14 or 15. Seriously? ‘Yeah, really. Uh-huh.’ He grins and chuckles. ‘It’s different in the country.’ Brown grew up with a great gang of boy cousins and they watched so much porn that he was raring to go. ‘By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I’m saying? Like, girls, we weren’t afraid to talk to them; I wasn’t afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.’”
There are a lot of reasons why this is not okay in any way. Let’s start with the most obvious: age. While I would never tell a teenager or an adult that they aren’t ready to have sex yet (because that is a personal choice), I have no problem telling a child that he or she isn’t ready to lose their virginity. A child is, in no way, shape or form, ready to have sex. And at 8-years-old, you are most definitely a child.
I can already hear some of you calling me a hypocrite (“But I thought you said it was a personal choice?”), so let me explain myself: sex is a serious thing that children are not ready for. Sex comes with many consequences, both emotional and physical, that children are not nearly mature enough to understand and know how to deal with. At 8-years-old, you are absolutely not mature enough to take this very adult step. Can I say it in any other way? Sex is not for children because children cannot give consent. End of story.
The second issue has to do with age also (okay, EVERY reason has to do with age because come on), but more specifically: puberty. The average boy hits puberty between the ages of 9 and 14-years-old (and 9 is young for a boy), so it’s more than likely that Chris Brown hadn’t even hit puberty before he had sex for the first time. Disturbing? Yes. If your body hasn’t even sexually matured yet, how could you possibly be ready to have sex? You can’t!
The third issue is something I’m sure you’re all ready to debate me on some more, but this is an example of statutory rape. Does it seem like Chris was pretty happy about losing his virginity at 8-years-old? Yes, sadly, but that’s not the point. First of all, his seeming happy about it could easily be a defense mechanism so that he doesn’t have to deal with his real feelings. Second of all, it doesn’t matter if he was happy about it. As I’ve explained before, statutory rape is, by definition, sexual intercourse with a minor. It doesn’t matter if the sex was forced or not – if you have sex with a minor, it’s statutory rape.
Yes, boys can be a victim of statutory rape and yes, it can be statutory rape even if the person doing it isn’t legally an adult yet. That’s because the girl who had allegedly had sex with Chris was, according to him, 14 or 15-years-old while he was 8-years-old, AKA a child, a minor. Whether he wanted to or not, she should have known that she can’t have sex with a child. I don’t care if it’s “different in the country.” It’s not okay at all.
Not for nothing, but what kind of 14 or 15-year-old girl looks at an 8-year-old child and thinks that that is someone they want to have sex with? I can’t even imagine what was going through this girl’s head or why anyone thought this was okay. Again, let me repeat: children cannot legally consent to having sex.
I obviously wasn’t there and don’t know the whole story of exactly what happened, but, again, what this sounds like to me and many others is a sad case of statutory rape. And this is why I feel sorry for Chris Brown – as much as he seems like he wants to boast about the experience, it was obviously something that caused him harm. In many child rape cases, victims act like they wanted it to happen because they would rather say that than express the way they really feel. At 24-years-old, Chris has already shown us a history of violent outbursts and it would make sense that his behavior stems from being sexually abused as a child. Of course, this doesn’t excuse any of the terrible things he has done. But at the same time, you can’t help but feel sorry for him, no matter how much you may dislike him. No child that age should be exposed to sex in that way, male or female.
So, in conclusion, there is definitely an age that is too young to be having sex: it’s when you’re legally a child, in case you haven’t understood this entire post. Sex is a big deal and is not for children. In order to have sex, you need to be ready to handle whatever comes along with it – and as a child, you’re just not.
But I want to know what you think also: how young is too young to lose your virginity? Do you think this was a statutory rape case? Do you believe that 8-years-old is too young to be having sex? Tell me in the comments.