I definitely have a type when it comes guys; who doesn’t? I like guys who have a great taste in music, are interested in politics and current events and have an interesting sense of style.
But racial preference? When it comes to who I find attractive? Nope, don’t have one and it’s usually pretty gross when people do. Unfortunately, that’s one of my primary concerns when it comes to dating or even developing crushes on people.
I end up wondering if there is a point of liking somebody at all if that guy won’t even consider me as a viable dating option because of my race. My funny personality, unique style and awesome taste in music could all be on point, but my race could be a deal breaker.
Before any of you assume that I’m just on my deluded, angry black girl soap box, please know that what I’m saying isn’t unfounded! For example, when it comes to online dating, black women and Asian men are considered the least desirable, especially in interracial relationships. But even for black women seeking black men, black women are less likely to receive messages than other races. Uh, yikes.
Plenty of people wouldn’t necessarily admit to this prejudice and the ones who would probably don’t even consider their preferences racist. Well, newsflash: It is.
I hate it when a guy has the gall to shrug and say, “Oh, yeah, I’m just not attracted to black girls.”
Really, dude? All of the black girls in the world who look completely different from each other in every imaginable way…and you’ve decided that none of them are attractive?
Guys like that are definitely ones to avoid. Who knows what else they could be shallow about?
By the way, this isn’t just a problem for black girls! I know that there are Asian women, Latina women, Native American women, etc who have the same worry. And it’s a crappy worry to have! Why can’t I just worry about what some guy thinks of the zit on my chin or something that every girl has to deal with? I already know I don’t fit the ideal standard of beauty. I’m reminded of that enough whenever I open a magazine, watch television or try to find my color at the drug store among 50 shades of white and one or two chalky shades of brown. I don’t need to be reminded of it even more when it comes to romance.
Frankly, there’s always going to be something fishy about people deciding that an entire race of people aren’t attractive. Of course, this is a claim that people of all races make and it is problematic no matter what. But let’s be real: This sentiment is a lot more loaded and harmful when it is directed towards people who aren’t white.
Yeah, there are going to be people who might say that they aren’t attracted to white girls, but before anybody starts crying a river, let’s not get it twisted: When it comes to race, being white is still the ideal. It is considered the most attractive and it represents our entire idea of beauty as a society. Look up the phrase “beautiful woman” in Google Images and see what kind of diversity photos you find. Consider the fact that people with darker skin use harmful bleaches on their skin to try and become lighter. Think about the fact that white women dominate runways of fashion shows. Consider all of these things and more and you’ll understand that, at the end of the day, our mainstream society see’s whiteness as attractive.
I’m proud of who I am and I love my skin color. Despite the struggles and concerns I encounter regularly because of it, I wouldn’t change it for the world. But wow…I just wish that guys I’d potentially want to date would love it, too.
Do you worry about this when it comes to dating? Has anybody ever told you that they weren’t attracted to your race? Tell us (and rage with us) in the comments!