Oral sex is pretty much treated like the gateway drug of the sex world. There’s a lot of–very hetero–emphasis on women preforming oral sex on men and very little reciprocation! That’s pretty unfair, right? Ladies deserve some loving, too.
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t use some oh so helpful tips when it comes to preforming. Think of it this way: Blow your partner’s mind and expect something even better in return. If they ain’t willing to deliver, then kick ‘em to the curb.
Whether your partner is a man or a woman, with these 10 lazy tips you’ll be an oral sex champ in no time at all. If you follow these steps you’ll have your guy or gal eating out of the palm of your hands.
Disclaimer: All of the previous puns were entirely unintentional. I’m not that cheesy.
Recite Something Steamy As ForeplayWords alone can be really hot. Read something that'll really get your partner revved up, like your favorite Babysitters Club book.Source: Scholastic
Get Seductive With a LollipopSeductively lick a lollipop then bite it, aggressively. Start chewing like you haven't eaten for days. That'll really get them excited for what's to come.Source: Shutterstock
Add Some FlavoringBodies don't taste very good, but you can make the experience more enjoyable by either covering the area in sugary sweet confections or savory helpings of mashed potatoes and gravy. Messy? Yes. Delicious? Maybe.Source: Shutterstock
Wear A SnorkelIt's really sexy, okay?Source: Shutterstock
Put On Some FangsSome people are, er, into that, I think.Source: Shutterstock
Have A SeanceWhip out your Ouija board and make sure that the spirits approve of your oral entertainment. Trust it with your life...and your private parts.Source: Shutterstock
Make Really Awful PunsSay something like, "I can't wait to go down under, said in an Australian accent, will be incredibly endearing and not annoying at all.Source: Shutterstock
Dress Up Their BitsMight as well make it look cute before you go to town. I'm sure there are some sort of DIY tutorials for cute penis and vagina costumes on PinterestSource: Shutterstock
Tell Some Sweet Little LiesNobody's penis or vagina smells like roses, okay? But in case your partner feels self-conscious about it, tell them that their bits smell like cinnamon buns. They'll feel more confident and you can spend the whole time planning your next Cinnabon run. Killing two birds with one stone!Source: Shutterstock
Read CosmoTheir tips are awful enough to make these tips look good.Source: Cosmopolitan Magazine
What is the worst oral sex advice you’ve ever received? Do you have an awkward oral sex story?Tell us in the comments!