I am a girl and I’m straight, or at least I have way too much fun with boys. I have never looked at a girl and thought anything more than, “Oh, she’s pretty.” But the other night, I had a, um, sexy dream about my best friend (who is a girl and is also straight). In my dream, we were in her room and doing things that straight girls don’t do with each other and now I’m totally confused. Does my dream mean that I’m a lesbian? Does it mean I should experiment with a girl? And should I tell my best friend about it?
Dreams can be pretty crazy sometimes! While some people remain convinced that dreams are a window into your subconscious or that they send you messages you should take seriously, I personally feel like dreams are just a collection of things you’ve been thinking about during the day (or the last few days) or random things you’re thinking about in your sleep. So would I worry too much about a sex dream about someone unexpected? I don’t think so.
What I’m basically saying is that having a dream about your female best friend doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. I bet if you asked around, everyone would admit to having at least one completely random sex dream during their life. Just because you’re dreaming about getting down and dirty with someone doesn’t mean you have to or that you secretly want to. Dreams are just a collection of thoughts and sometimes those thoughts get mixed up and and produce strange results. It would be cool if they were a window to our soul or something like that, but I’m pretty sure they don’t work that way.
There’s no reason to assume that one dream about having sex with a girl automatically means you’re a lesbian. There’s a lot more to it than that! If you’re seriously questioning your sexuality, ask yourself these questions: are you regularly attracted to other girls? Does thinking about doing sexual things with other girls turn you on? Would you rather hook up with a guy or a girl? Could you see yourself with a woman in the future? You said you’ve never thought about other girls in that way before – so that sounds like a pretty clear indication that you’ve never questioned your sexuality until now.
Consider those questions above, but I think it’s safe to say that you’re a heterosexual girl who just had a random dream about hooking up with her BFF. There’s nothing wrong with that and you shouldn’t feel like you’re strange or anything. However, I don’t know you and I’m not you (obviously), so I can’t say for sure. If you want to experiment with other girls, go ahead, but don’t force yourself to do that. If you have the urge to try it out, then do so! If you’re just going to do it just to “make sure” you’re not gay, then don’t.
Lastly, I don’t think it’s necessary to fill your bestie in on this particular dream. Unless you guys are really candid about this sort of thing, it could get a little awkward. Tell her if you want to (because it’s really no big deal), but don’t feel like you have an obligation to.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org