10 Reasons He’s Not In The Mood To Have Sex

A lot of girls think that all guys are ready to jump into bed to get down and dirty at any moment of any day – so when a guy isn’t in the mood for sex, some girls take it really personally. However, just because a lot of guys are horny a lot of the time, that doesn’t mean they constantly want to have sex every second of the day. Sometimes stuff happens and they just want to cuddle. There’s nothing wrong with that!

I’ve gotten a few questions about some of you freaking out because your boyfriend isn’t always in the mood to have sex and I figured that it was time to address it. Of course, the best thing to do is to just ask him, but if you’re uncomfortable doing that, you can start by reading this! So, here are 10 reasons he’s not in the mood.

Do you date someone who just isn’t in the mood sometimes? Why are you not in the mood to have sex sometimes? Tell me in the comments.


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  • Matt Bone

    most of the initial ‘reasons’ are more scare mongering, sometimes we ‘just don’t feel like it. it des happen, as much as the girls do sometimes just don’t feel like it. nothing personal, maybe just ate and can’t deal with movement, possibility that it’s just too damn hot, needing a bit of personal time when no one wants there time (end of a needy week at work) or simply playing back at she who must be obeyed when she decided yesterday that she ‘had a headache’. tit for tat.. hehe . so many reasons.

  • Art from SJ

    Crazy. I been wit my girl 2 years. Used to have sex all da time. Like 4 -5 times a week. Twice a day now. Almost on year 3, now its nothing. Like once a week. 2twice this month. I feel hella insecure , dont know whats goin on. Gues she aint into me anymore? Or Bored, idk. Puts me down either way both of us jus dont even try . Now i jus feel lonely To be honest. Only shared this cuz everyone else is sharing

  • Ashley Johnson

    I have been married to my husband for 3 almost 4 yrs now. We uses to get crazy and do alot of different sex but now it’s no more. He waits for months now before anything ever happens and when I talk to him about it all he says I am not in the mood and I don’t feel good. But he can go out side and work on his dirt bikes and whatever else he has for toys. I try talking sexy to him . Not happening for him I try the advice you said and nothing happens. We don’t cuddle anymore like we use too. Our youngest is always in bed with us and I tried to get him in his own bed but my husband don’t care too. I am so confuse. Now I tried to talk to him again about stuff and it’s been a month and still I get same excuse. What is going on help me.

    • Brian Franklin Adams

      I am 45 years old and I have been married to my second wife since 2010. We were very sexually active in beginning for a long time. After dealing with the stress of work and money and dealing with our seven-year-old, not to mention getting older, I just don’t get in the mood like I used to. believe me I wish I was 22 again. But it’s slowing down and I hate it. I love my wife I think she’s beautiful and I’m very attracted to her. but when I’m not in the mood, I’m not in the mood. I don’t know what else to do about it because she takes it very personally and she feels like a fool when she’s trying to come on to me.


        Your 45 man, it’s ok. Sex isn’t that important. Unless your watching porn, then it’s not ok. If your jacking off to porn and making these claims then it’s bullshit. But if yoir not watching him porn and this is true, then it’s ok

  • Catrina Woods

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 years and after we had our daughter it all stopped. Now it’s to where it’s once or twice every 2 months or none. He says it’s his job that stresses him out and he is always tired, but he has time for video games, internet, and reading a book before bed. I’ve gotten on the computer and checked the history and found porn sites that he’s been to:( I’ve tried to get him in the mood even on his days off but its just a big disappointment:( This has been going on for a few months if its gonna be like this I am gonna hit the road. I’m not getting any younger I wanna live my life full of happiness as best as I can and if he is gonna do this I’m out which makes me pretty sad when I do think about it. He is leaving his job next year in March hopefully he changes after that. Cause I don’t know how much more I can take this.

    • Matt Bone

      maybe its money, we blokes (aussie term) as the bils are being paid, take notice of things where balances aren’t reducing as quick as we like, we worry about making payment, keepinþe cash flow in check, when more is going out then coming in, we get worried, sex is off limit. when a difficult job is under way or coming up, sex is off, we look forward, if possible hardness is approaching, sex is off.

      as forward thinkers, it doesn’t tale much to throw us off.


        He’s cheating on you with porn. Leave the loser and find a real man. Some girls/guys are ok with each other watching porn. But it’s affecting your sex life. That’s not ok. hes gotta be jacking off like at least twice a day. And your left in the dust lol. But after five years he should know if your ok with it or not. This motherfucker is looking at other women’s tits and pussy and your ok with that? My god wake up. Unless you told him it’s ok, he’s cheating

  • my fiance and i have had wonderful sex everyday and now he just stopped he said he is tired of having sex all the time. I dont know what to dowe try to have sex once a week now it once every two weeks and soon it will be once a month, but he wants a baby and he is tired of trying i feel like he is bored of me

    • Ashley Johnson

      I feel same way with my husband .

  • lois

    I’ve been dating this guy for about 6 months. When we first met he had just got out of a long term relationship as did I. But it didn’t seem to be a problem until it came to sex. Usually before sex you have foreplay and the possibility of oral but not in this case. The first time we had sex he couldn’t even get hard. It made me feel like I was the issue. You know I did the generous deed of getting him to where he need to be and finally that did the trick.
    But that continued he wouldn’t be where needed to be and…… still cant. He didn’t know that girls needed to be warmed up first with some touching kissing and what not and he will not go down no matter how hard I beg!
    It will get to the point now where he gets me naked starts kissing me then rolls over and goes to sleep. Which leaves me disappointed and unwanted. What is a girl to do when the guy she loves won’t give her the loving she needs.

  • Jenna

    My partner is never in the mood no matter what I try including a few hurtful moments being rejected whilst trying to surprise him after his shift. It all started 3 months in and winds me up and makes me feel unattractive. I have finally just accepted that he is not very sexual and at some points lazy. I’m scared that I may do something stupid if out or away just for the need of feeling wanted. We have talked about it no end and nothing changes but I gave up my life for him and have nothing now and I love him aside from the non sexual side.

  • R

    I just read your blog and it kind of helped a lot. My issue is that when he gets stressed or annoyed he doesn’t want to touch me and just takes it out on me. Lately I’ve found my self snooping in his history and found some pornagraphy it isnot all the time but it is still enough that it makes me upset just because I had been wanting it for so long. We do it the same way all the time. I am bored from it but even if I am completely not in the mood I don’t say no because I don’t know when he’ll be back in the mood for it. The same way is boring and annoying but it is the way he always wants to do it. I love him so much and we have been dating for over four years now. But with the sec and him feeling distant I can’t help but feel like he just isn’t that into me anymore. 🙁

    • ernest

      i want you to know that some guys are out here waiting to give ther life love body and every thing to some one who loves them but still all they get is hard break just like me , i have spent my time love trust made love every night she even wanted is in the time of her period still just to make her happy i did in but still all we got is hart break, why because there is no money all woman want is some one who is ok with cash and when the guys are trying to work hard they said they work so much and forget about them if only woman whom i will give all my life love time sex we will be my wife if you want to know me more add me on fb with this name ernestolimini GOD bless you

      • yellow jacket

        i am a man so you ladys i hope you want to listen, i have no idea why a man would not want to make love, its our whole life, i feel sorry for you girls, i have been married to my wife for 10 years and we make love every day twice a day, in the morning when we get up and at night when we go to bed. the only time we miss it is when i get a cold or flu even then i try to have sex but i am to sick. we have a daughter now and it dont matter to me, we still make love every day twice a day. if he is not getting outside the house, then maybe he needs to see a doctor, its abnormal for a man not to be sex crazed, i am. i cant live without having sex with my wife everday. also my wife gives me great oral and i do also to her, i go all out and i have never got tired of her, she is the bomb.