One of the questions I get the most from you girls is this: how do I know if I’m ready to have sex? It’s a completely valid question. How do you know if you’re ready to take that step? I used to obsess about the same exact thing – after all, no one wants to regret their first time or have sex before they can actually handle everything that comes along with it. Everyone puts so much pressure on your first time that thinking about it can be completely nerve wracking.
Honestly, only you will now when you’re truly ready to have sex – I can’t tell you that and neither can anyone else. But there are some signs to look out for that can help point you in the right direction and figure out if you’re really ready or not. If you’re wondering if it’s time to take your sex life to the next level or if you should give it some more time, read on. Here are 10 signs you’re not ready to have sex yet.
You Don't Know Anything About STDs or STIsSex comes along with a lot of consequences and it's really important to be informed about those possible consequences. Before you have sex with someone, you need to know all there is to know about STDs and STIs - how you can get them, if your possible partner has been tested, the symptoms of common STDs, etc. If you haven't learned about this in school, we have a lot of information here on Gurl (check this page out) and you can always talk to a doctor. But if you know nothing about this stuff, you shouldn't be having sex yet - that's irresponsible. Source: ShutterStock
Everyone Else Is Doing It, So You Want ToThe only reason you should have sex is because YOU want to. You should never have sex because you feel left out or you're dealing with any kind of peer pressure. If you want to have sex just to "get it over with" and be like everyone else, that's not the right reason to lose your virginity. First of all, those people aren't you, so just because they're doing it doesn't mean you have to. Second of all, not everyone who says they do it actually is doing it. Have sex only when YOU feel ready, not just to fit in. You'll regret that. Source: ShutterStock
You Have No Birth Control Plans At AllBirth control is an extremely important part of sex... unless you're looking to be the next cast member of Teen Mom. Before you have sex, you need to have a birth control plan. Buy some condoms (yes, you can do that) and consider speaking to your doctor about going on the pill or getting a diaphragm. You need to have a plan AND a backup plan! Source: ShutterStock
You're Trying To Please Someone ElseAgain, the only reason you should ever have sex is because you want to have sex. If you're dating someone who has been pressuring you to take the next step, don't do it just because you want to make him happy. Don't do it because you think it will improve your relationship or make him like you more. Don't do it because he doesn't want to wait. Source: ShutterStock
Thinking About Having Sex Makes You Freak OutEveryone is going to be a little nervous about having sex for the first time, so if you feel slightly anxious whenever you think about it, that doesn't automatically mean you're not ready. But if thinking about sex practically gives you a panic attack or makes you feel really uncomfortable, you're probably not ready yet. When you're ready, you should feel a little nervous, but also excited. If it doesn't make you happy at all, you're just not there yet. Source: ShutterStock
You Don't Trust The Person You Want To Do It WithMaybe you want to lose your virginity to your boyfriend, but something with him just feels slightly off. If you think your BF is cheating on you, or if you think he's not that interested or if you feel like he could be using you, don't lose your virginity to him. The person you lose your virginity to doesn't have to be your one true love and soulmate, but it should be someone you trust and feel comfortable with - someone you can be yourself around and someone you don't think is going to leave you the second you guys do it. Source: ShutterStock
You Have Ridiculously High ExpectationsIf you think your first time having sex is going to be just like those sweet, romantic scenes in a movie or TV show... think again. Sex is awkward, plain and simple. Your first time can very easily be the most awkward. If you think sex is going to be the most perfect experience of your life, you might not be ready to do it just yet, because you need to be realistic. Things can and probably will be messy. You won't know exactly what to do. It might hurt. It might be awkward. You might fart. I don't know. Just have realistic views on sex before you do it. Source: ShutterStock
Having Sex Goes Against All Of Your BeliefsSometimes we truly believe in something, like no sex before marriage, because of religion or whatever and then... temptation gets in the way. If you've spent your whole life believing that sex before marriage is wrong but you're suddenly feeling urges to do it, give yourself a lot of time to think. Are you SURE you want to go against your beliefs? Because you might do it and then regret it. Before you have sex, make sure it's really what you want and not something you just want right now. Source: ShutterStock
You Have No Idea What's Going On With Your PartnerIf you're dating someone who wants to have sex but also has never made his real intentions with you clear... you probably aren't ready to do it yet. If you're sort of nervous about the idea of having sex for the first time, you should talk to your partner about it. You guys should discuss what you're going to do about birth control and if he's ever done it before, if he's ever been tested before, where your relationship is going to go afterwards.... that kind of stuff. Source: ShutterStock
Talking About Sex Makes You Really UncomfortableDo you get super shy and quiet and uncomfortable when your friends start talking about sex? Do you get grossed out by sex stuff? Do you blush at just the idea of talking about birth control or STD testing or anything like that? Of course, you could just be shy, but it could also be a sign that you're not ready to have sex yet. If you're having sex, you should feel comfortable talking about it, because sex is about communication just as much as it is about physical stuff. Source: ShutterStock
Are you still a virgin? Do you question whether or not you’re ready for sex? If you’ve already done it, how did you know when you were ready? Tell me in the comments.