7 Reasons Watching Porn Isn’t A Bad Thing

It’s obvious that watching porn is a pretty controversial topic here on Gurl. It seems like you guys either love porn (you watch it, you don’t mind if your BF watches it), or you’re totally against it (you think it’s demeaning, you think watching it could be considered cheating). But truthfully, guys, porn shouldn’t be your enemy. I can totally understand feeling uncomfortable with the idea of pornography (I used to, too!), but in reality, there are a lot of good things about watching porn.

We’ve discussed “porn for women” before, but I’ve always thought it was a stupid concept. Why does there have to be porn made specifically for women? Can’t women enjoy porn just as much as men do without the stereotypes? Porn star and actor James Deen agrees. He recently discussed his thoughts on porn for women with Refinery 29 and I thought what he said was pretty great: “My theory on porn for women is it’s just porn. Why is there porn explicitly only for women? By saying there needs to be porn for women, you’re basically isolating women as a gender and saying, ‘This is how women should think. This is how their sexuality should be.’ It’s counterproductive (from what I understand) to the equality movement. Who says that one woman’s take on sexuality is the right way to think?”

That being said, here are 7 reasons watching porn isn’t a bad thing. If you do it, don’t be ashamed! If you want to try and you’re hesitant… let these reasons be your motivation.

Do you watch porn? Do you think watching porn is okay? Would you be cool with your BF watching porn? Tell me in the comments!

 

Is porn ruining your sex life even if you don’t watch it?

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23 Comments

  1. avatarAlaishia says:

    I personally think that porn shows a violating aspect of sex however, it’s perfectly natural to become aroused while watching it’s a great way to explore sexuality with yourself and partner.

  2. avatarAlaishia says:

    I personally think that porn shows a violating aspect of sex however, it’s perfectly natural to become aroused while watching it ( I read sexual literature)it’s great way to explore new things with yourself and partner also, you can’t be judged because you watched porn; it’s simply about exploring your sexuality through a very violating point of view but hey it’s there for a reason so while some people may have their entitled opinions about porn, I like watching it with an open mind.

  3. avatarcc says:

    I recently got married to my bf of three years. I watch porn and I have a habit of watching. I love it. I used to have a problem with him watching porn but he is in the navy and away alot. Although I have a tight pussy that he can’t resist ilove watching porn so I can love on him. Make more moves on my husband it’s amazing. I hates sex when I was 16 and now I’m 19 and I love it. I get so wet. It’s awesome. I love my husband and no I’m just not just in it for the sex because I do believe in love. I do like porn. But I know when to stop and take the time of romance of my husband. I am happy and it doesn’t ruin my marriage. Some of those girls are just icky anyways and half the time they wouldn’t want anything to do with your man or have the time of day because their actors and actresses:) be okay with your sexual life.

  4. avatarIzes hype says:

    I don’t see anything wrong about porn.

  5. avatarheidy says:

    Did you guys hear of Dusk? Dusk! is a erotic tv station in the netherlands. They broadcast “porn for women” or as they call it “Porna”. They have a online panel where over 2000 women rate the porn they show. If the panel members like the porn, it’s conciderd porna or female friendly. So watching Dusk! allows you to see porn that a majority of women like. Great stuff since good porn for women is difficult to find.

  6. avatarmindy says:

    yes it does ruin my sex life cause hed rather jerk it then stick it, i havent been one for porn it has ruined many a relationship, it makes me feel as if i cant please him rite in bed, if he has to jerk it then y b with a woman if ur gunna fuck her yhen go jerk it in the bath tub ? what sense does that make ? he has never invited me to watch porn with him, n im new to porn. whats so much better then makin love ? guys dont make love anymore they just fuck, porn has taken out all the romance of love makin’ now a days. its never sensual anymore, no feelin but bustin that nut .

  7. avatarSumit says:

    If we watch porn wil god give curse?

  8. avatarVincent Attah says:

    Personally speaking Porn is satanic.It creates in you an ungodly drive for sex.It makes you want to experiment on styles that are unconventional and since your wife will never want to engage in such styles,you seek for such from women who are mostly prostitutes and if one is not careful you contact STD and also you sin againgst God

  9. avatarSass says:

    It seems like such a polarizing issue to many and I’m just not sure how I feel about all of the anti-porn hype.

    Among the most common arguments about why porn is harmful are that it gives people unrealistic views about sex, makes it harder to be attracted to your partner, objectifies and degrades women, and hurts women’s self esteem. But I could make that same argument about most media we consume (beer commercials, R rated movies, fashion ads, I could go on) Just because these things aren’t categorized as porn doesn’t mean they don’t objectify women, promote unrealistic and unobtainable “ideals” and hurt women’s and men’s self esteem. Honestly I feel worse about myself after flipping through ads in the average women’s magazine than I do watching a few minutes of internet porn with my husband. nobody is pictured ejaculating on the models in Victoria’s Secret catalogs but that doesn’t mean they aren’t being used as sex objects.

    Addiction to anything is harmful. But every study claiming to prove porn’s detrimental effects on relationships might just fail to account for how other issues might be contributing to sexual problems and loss of intimacy, and porn might be a symptom rather than the cause. eg is my relationship in trouble because I’m watching more porn or am I watching more porn because my relationship is in trouble? Or maybe they aren’t related at all–after all, it’s basically making assumptions about cause and effect based on what people decide to reveal to a stranger about the most private yet judged part of their lives.

    I know people may think I’m naive for comparing lingerie ads to hard core porn and questioning claims that it destroys relationships. But I just can’t help but feel the knee jerk reaction to porn as so much more prevented and dangerous than the other ways sex sells in our society is largely based on the view that porn is for men and not women and since men’s sex is dirty and degrading but women’s sex is liberating and empowering, the only conclusion can be that porn is bad.

  10. avatarValentine says:

    As Nina mentions, hetero porn does not cater to my tastes, because it focuses too much on the girl and does not take into account a man’s erogeneous zones. It goes straight (no pun intended) to the blow jobs and handjobs, without no foreplay. Gay porn at least provide that, but since it’s sex between men, what the hell do I benefit from?! Even so-called porn for ladies does not care about providing a total sensual experience for both partners. The only one that does is so-called lesbian porn. In fact, the only porn I truly like to watch is solos. It’s damn shame because I would love to watch het sex, if it features good looking men, women who actually seem to enjoy their partners’ bodies and true enthusiasm in the act itself

  11. avatarMabelPines says:

    I watch porn to get off and I find that it does help! Okay,it’s guys using a fleshlight but that’s all I really need!

  12. avatartoni says:

    lookin at other women 2 get satisfaction coz not satisfied with how i look

  13. avatarkrissy says:

    I watch more porn than my husband, mostly because I have wider interests.

    There truly is something out there for every taste, from softcore to truly disturbing. Several of my straight female friends enjoy gay porn because it features lovely guys and they aren’t interested in seeing women. Others enjoy lesbian porn because of the female orgasms and lack of men ‘just getting off.’

    Given that different women want a different focus, the idea of making porn for women seems silly. (Also, yaoi isn’t targeting men)

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  15. avatarAsh says:

    I look at it in a completely different light than you, Nina. For me, the focus on the women is perfect, because I’m imagining those acts being done to me. While I don’t mind giving head, it’s not something that gets me hot in an instant, so watching another girl give someone head is not in the least bit arousing.

    And Karen – I would assume most women who watch porn to watch the men would probably want him to be reasonably attractive, so what’s the issue with the women being gorgeous? You can also find amateur porn, or even porn casting overweight people, to cater to everyone’s taste.

    I think you both need to chill.

  16. avatarEve says:

    I masturbate. I think it’s great! My boyfriend watches it too and I’m fine with it

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  18. avatarKaren says:

    Good God, that was the most condescending, poorly thought out article I’ve ever consumed in my life. You’ve managed to completely brush off the face that a good 90% of the porn that can be found on the internet manages to degrade women in fun and interesting ways, such as completely ignoring their sexual needs, treating their bodies like filthy sex-holes, and almost never providing her with any semblance of her own physical pleasure. When have you ever seen a woman have an orgasm in porn? Maybe 5% of the time? Charming. Add that to the fact that it can give even the most confident woman a bad case of body dysmorphia, and I think I’ve made my point- most porn sucks.

    • avatarMichelle says:

      The ironic part of this is that in porn that is especially “degrading,” like BDSM-style porn, women’s orgasms are far in excess of men’s orgasms. I personally am a fan of rougher-type porn, and find it arousing as a woman. I recognize that I am likely in the minority, and of course consent should not be conditional (IE, porn stars who feel ‘forced’ into the industry because of what it pays or their own financial instability), but I would definitely not go so far as to say that women never orgasm or that porn stars give women body dysmorphia.

      In fact, I’d argue the opposite– after seeing so many women naked, I feel way, way more comfortable with my body. Its shown me that all women have those little rumples and crinkles, even the gorgeous ones. And theres plenty of not gorgeous women who do porn. It’s also shown me that men like women of all body types and colorations– searches for “BBW” or “skinny,” “big tits” or “small tits,” “blonde,” “brunette,” “redhead,” all come up incredibly often.

      I dont know what kind of porn you’re watching, Karen, but maybe its just not the right type. Actually, I’d probably say you don’t watch porn, or at most have a very limited knowledge of the subject, and might be a little overeager to regurgitate the ideological pedagogy about the topic without actually crafting a well-informed, unique idea for yourself.

      • avatarLilly says:

        Michelle, you’re right, BDSM is traditionally considered degrading but whatever, it’s meant to be. What Karen is referring to is porn where sex is meant to be consensual but the man still calls the women his “dirty slut” and a “fucking whore”. This may turn you on, but what makes her a slut or a whore in this scenario? It’s not like he’s paying her or he’s coerced her into sex. She wanted it, but she’s shamed for that in porn that is supposed to depict sex in a relationship. That’s what’s degrading. And it’s harmful because it perpetuates the idea that any women who enjoys sex, who will willingly have sex with a man, should be shamed and disrespected. Not to mention, I don’t want to watch something where a women’s being shamed for having a sex drive, which is why I prefer to watch porn in foreign languages, just so I don’t have to listen to all the vulgar things the man is probably saying.

        Furthermore, women’s orgasms aren’t “in excess”. 97% (rough estimate based on all the porn I’ve watched) of women’s orgasms depicted in porn are over-the-top fake, and most women can tell that they’re faked. They serve to excite men (or the viewers, depending on who you think the porn industry is targeting) rather than depict actual pleasure. This just tells us that the guy isn’t really doing anything for her. Basically he’s just masturbating using her vagina, and I personally get turned off but I can’t speak for everybody. But whenever a man has an orgasm it is 100% real.

        I wouldn’t say “porn for women” was the solution, because that means that this degrading language and the lack of concern for female pleasure will continue to be shown in “porn for men”. Maybe you won’t agree with me, and maybe you think that men shouldn’t care about women’s orgasms but to be frank I think it’s just polite that if you’re having sex with someone you do your best to make it as enjoyable an experience as possible. I do this, and I expect the same from my partners. But this isn’t what porn shows, porn shows pleasure at the expense of one of the partners (most often the woman) and this is why its problematic.

        P.S: BDSM isn’t pleasure at the expense of one of the partners because if it’s consensual, both parties should enjoy it.

    • avatarVic says:

      I agree with you. Most porn sucks for the reasons you stated.

  19. avatarNina says:

    There is no porn for women, because most of the porn is geared towards men. The camera angles focus only on the girls (who I am not in the least bit interested in watching) while porn for women should focus more on male actors who should be hot.

    Porn for women isn’t isolating women as a gender, it is about catering to their tastes – not everything has to be form the male point of view. It is arrogant to assume that women will necessarily be turned on by the same things as men.

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