When it comes to friends with benefits “relationships,” I am not a big fan. That’s not to say I haven’t done, because I have – and that’s exactly why I hate the whole idea. Everyone thinks they can handle a friends with benefits relationship, but in the end, very few people actually can. For the most part, all it does is lead to hurt, dejected feelings and will probably ruin any kind of friendship you had with that person in the first place.
But despite the fact that these warnings are plastered all over the Internet and in any magazine you read, the majority of people out there still choose to try having an FWB, thinking it will be no big deal. And that will absolutely lead to these mistakes – if not one, probably all of them. Here are 8 mistakes you’ll make when you’re trying the friends with benefits thing. Trust me.
You'll Settle For FWB Even Though You Want A RelationshiopI've seen this happen millions of times and I've done it myself: you have a crush on a guy, but he doesn't want a relationship, so you decide to settle for a FWB thing because you assume it's better than nothing and it will probably lead to a real relationship soon, right? Wrong. Never, ever go into a friends with benefits situation if what you really want is a boyfriend. Don't try to lie to yourself. If you don't genuinely want something casual like this, don't try to force yourself into it by thinking something real will come out of it. It almost never works that way. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Assume You Guys Can Stay Friends AfterwardsYou know how it's difficult to stay friends with an ex? Well, it's also difficult to stay friends with an old FWB. That's because, even though you guys were "casual," you still had some sort of emotional thing happening. It's also because FWB relationships usually end badly, with one person feeling more rejected than the other person - then it's awkward. ALSO, friends with benefits usually ends because one person ended up dating someone else, meaning tons of hurt feelings all around. Don't try this with a really good friend who you aren't willing to risk losing. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Blow Off Other Potential Boyfriends For Your FWBSay you have a crush on your friend with benefits - you're going to be so consumed by that whole situation that you're probably going to blow off any other guy who tries to hit on you, even if he could give you the relationship you deserve. I've done this a few times and I still sort of regret it - I blew off really nice guys who wanted to actually take me out on dates because I was too busy obsessing over my FWB. Well, guess what? My FWB always ended up screwing me over and I lost out on some pretty great opportunities. If you're going to do the super casual thing with someone, keep your options open. Isn't that sort of the point of friends with benefits, anyway? Source: ShutterStock
You'll Start To Treat Your FWB Like Your BoyfriendWhether you mean to or not, this will happen if you have a crush on your friend with benefits. You'll start to think of him as your BF (by confiding in him, asking him to go places with you, etc) and eventually you'll start expecting more from him. And while this is totally natural, it's not exactly fair to your FWB - you agreed to be casual, remember? Source: ShutterStock
You'll Get Mad When Your FWB Treats You As Just A HookupOnce you start expecting more from your FWB, you'll inevitably get mad when you don't get treated the way you really want to. Again, this is normal (no one likes to feel used), but it's also not exactly fair. Remember, you agreed to do the casual thing and so you can't expect your FWB to start acting more like a BF to you because that's not what he thought was going to happen. You know what I mean? If you no longer like the situation, you can't expect that person to change - you just need to get outta there. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Get Upset When You See Your FWB Flirting With Someone ElseWhen you have a FWB, you should be fully aware that he is still pursuing other girls - but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when you hear about or see it happening. Jealousy isn't a mistake, but again, I have to remind you that you put consciously put yourself in this situation. It's one thing to feel hurt and it's another thing to start a fight with the person because they were doing what they thought was okay. If you think it's messed up, you shouldn't be in a friends with benefits relationship. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Develop Feelings For This Person Even Though You Said You Wouldn'tGoing into this, you promised yourself that you wouldn't develop any feelings for your FWB. You promised him that you wouldn't and you promised your friends that you wouldn't. But after months of hooking up and then cuddling afterwards, you... um... have feelings for him. It's okay! This is normal, but this is also exactly why friends with benefits sucks. Then you're stuck with all of these messy emotions and feelings and you have no idea what to do. It's not fun. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Lie To Everyone About Your Real FeelingsOnce you have those feelings, you're probably going to be embarrassed... and so you're not going to tell anyone about them. I've developed feelings for every FWB I've had. They always suspected it, but when they asked if I wanted to stop, I would be all like, "NO! God, I don't have feelings for you, get over yourself, I just want to have fun." They were trying to do the right thing, but I was basically making it impossible by lying to them and myself. Not to mention also lying to my friends, because I felt stupid. If you know you've developed feelings, speak up. Tell your FWB. It's worth a shot, right? If they don't feel the same way, you guys can end things so you can move on. If they do? Who knows what could happen! Source: ShutterStock
Do you have a friend with benefits? Have you ever had one? Have you ever made these mistakes? What did I forget? Tell me in the comments.