From The Message Boards: I Like My Cousin

Sometimes you might be at a family function with some distantly related people and think that someone you’re related to is kinda cute. That’s all good and fine. I mean, they’re related to you, how could they not be attractive? But what are you supposed to do when you’re actually attracted to someone, like your cousin?

This week on the message boards, y’all are discussing what you should do if you like your cousin:

SweetSahara said:
“No. No, no, no. This is so wrong. Stop now before you actually do something with this guy, he is your COUSIN.”

keepitstoked said:

“I wouldn’t say it’s ‘wrong’. It’s not like you guys are siblings, but, however, it is odd. I don’t advise it because being family it could turn out bad or cause resentment and you don’t want to ruin your current relationship, do you? Flirting is perfectly fine, and fun, for that matter. Don’t take it a step too far and risk losing what you have now.”

Fleur_Kalliope said:

“Actually, it’s not considered incest between cousins. There is a very, very low chance of birth defects, and most US states legally allow first cousins to get married.

That being said, I don’t advise a relationship between cousins. I was… “involved” with my step-cousin for a while a year ago, and I can say that it is the most stressful thing I have ever experienced.”

Yikes, this is such a tricky one, y’all. On one hand, I get it. When I was a kid, I had a crush on my older cousin. But at the time, I didn’t quite understand the concept that he was also related to me. When I was older and found out that I had been crushing on my own bloodline, I freaked out.

It’s true that dating your cousin is legal in some US states. But, regardless of the legality of it, dating or hooking up with your cousin will likely cause a huge mess. I mean, you’re family! If it ends, it’s going to be really awkward at family reunions. Think about how this situation will affect your whole family. That’s quite a big risk to take when you could be with someone who isn’t your cousin.

And when it comes down to it, you’re still related. By blood. Unless this is a step cousin, twice removed or something, I think it’s best to avoid flirting and having any non-family relations with your cousin.
Have you ever had a crush on your cousin? What did you do about it? Tell us in the comments!

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Posted in: Boards, Health, Sex & Relationships
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  1. avatarJust at thought says:

    For much of the world’s population, the Bible is the final authority on right and wrong.

    The Bible has a great deal to say about cousin marriage, and not once does it say anything negative. To the contrary, all references to cousin marriage in scripture are 100% supportive.

  2. avatarAlways says:

    I have been with my cousin for over thirty years. He has been the best thing that ever happened. We tried not to, but we just have strong feelings and emotions for each other. We both tried date others, but it never worked out. So yes I’m happy, its been a good life with a man I love, I don’t think that is wrong.

  3. avatarKai says:

    Yes I have a crush on my cousin too I got it when we went sledding/snowmobiling I started having feelings 4 her when she was telling me about her self and realized that she had the same interests as I do then things got worse when I had to go on the back of her snowmobile she felt my penis hardening on her butt its very awkward and I always get the grossest thoughts in the world like f*cking her its messed up so I really need advice cause I’m sick of avoiding her and I don’t want a crush on her.

    • avataralissa says:

      i love my cousin too
      we’ve always been close, he’s my 1st cousin :/
      he’s told me (drunkenly) that he loves me a few times but last week he told me everything. he kept staring at me and telling me I’m so f*cking beautiful and he wanted me and loved me, etc. he said he didn’t like his other cousins and he felt stupid. we started cuddling and it felt normal. i dunno if that’s weird or not but there is def chemistry
      he ended up sleeping with my friend bc I thought it was a bad idea for him and I to be tog and I got jealous :(
      he spent the night last night and just cuddled and I love him so much but not in love with him, I dunno how I love him. maybe it’s normal? i would prob have sex with him but just think it could be weird and I’m not single, etc
      not sure what to do, there is some sort of attraction that’s undeniably, even my uncle (his dad) noticed.

  4. avatardajanik says:

    My family came over for the funeral of a family member yesterday and this boy came btw he is my cousin from my grandpas side and my mom told me that were cousins but heres the prob. i like him and im pretty sure he likes me too but i am freaking out!!!!!!!! i dont know what tobdo bc i only told my other cousins but i dont know what to do………. i need answers

  5. avatarRachael says:

    Hey I hav a crush on my cousin we don’t live in d same city and wet don’t talk much on d phone bt when we meet it feels special like we hav so much in common I like spending time with him we’ve never made out or anything bt I remember him telling me twice that he likes me not streight forward bt like u like trying new kinds of food I like u ( he likes trying new kinds of food too) and I want u to here these songs I like u ( wwe were listening to music ) and we spend lots of time together during holidays which is fun soooo does he hav a crush on me how do I tell him ( I mean just tell him not date and stuff bt let him know tat I hav a crush on him ) ???? :)

  6. avatar☆Hayley☆ says:

    ok i think it might be wrong but i have i huge crush on my cousin-in-law so i dont have much room to talk….. we flirt hug…… and we makeout too cause he was my first kiss and that was really special to me i trust him he promised he would never try anything sexual with me and its been at least 6 years since we meet and he hasnt tryed anything he drives me around like hes my big brother… he has 2 younger bros

  7. avatarlooplol says:

    Well u cant help who u like I mean u just cant I dont like that person cuz its my cuzin

  8. avatarjane says:

    i think my cousin and his cousin like each other ,because they’re always kind of flirting, and they always have been since i met his cousin. i think the only reason they’re not together is because they’re cousins and because they live kind of far away from each other.

  9. avatarally coble says:

    We just play aroun un tell he trid to kiss me and thin i hoy scard and ask home Y and he sade and i quot BC u look sexy in that

  10. avatarRandom says:

    I think it’s fine. In certain religions it’s totally acceptable for cousins to date or marry. I’m a muslim, and this being said, my parents are in fact first cousins. It can be confusing at times but everyone accepts it.

  11. avatarValentina says:

    I wont say it’s wrong cos i also had a crush on my cousin- daniel. But it should be controlled. You can flirt and all but should not get so serious.

    • avatarcoolness says:

      You have a cousin named Daniel….i have a cousin named Daniel and I’m totally crushing on him….i don’t know what to do thought….cause I haven’t told him that I like him but yea

  12. avatarCloverTea123 says:

    It’s wrong. Your being selfish to your children. Think about what might happen to them.

  13. avatarFoxyBaby says:

    I had a huge crush on my step cousin. his mom and my dad have the same father and we say we really aren’t related but we are. and we kinda made out. it didn’t feel wrong. it was a little weird at first but then I thought, “oh well”. we are still very close but wont do anything else.

  14. avatarntosh says:

    i had a crush on my cousin only to find out that he felt the same we sat down and talked about it and decided that we’ll date undercover…we nearly got caught so that caused a lot of family disputes,then eventually we were not allowed to hang out or talk to each other,as time went on i realised that he was the only guy that ever made me feel special,appreciated and worthy…so my advise is if both you and your cousin feel the same way then give a try…but think of the consequences that will follow like family separation…

  15. avataraya says:

    i love my cousin too, we used to love each other and it’s fine
    ur advice to u is to make sure that he loves before u did something u both regret it

  16. avatarFleur says:

    Fleur_Kalliope here. I would like to note that my answer was cut down to exclude the fact that my involvement with my cousin was A). Stressful because he was using me and eventually sexually assaulted me, and B). That he was in fact my step cousin. That now being present in relation to this article, I still advise against it.

    I would also like to add that I found this article extremely biased and rather judgemental. Specifically the last two paragraphs. Yes, I get that it is a very tricky subject, but that means one needs to be non-judgemental when someone asks a question about it. As someone who has felt this judgement first hand, what I needed was to NOT BE JUDGED when I ask/told someone about it. I felt disgusting and horrible and was hating myself already for my feelings and emotions. I didn’t need someone else to do it for me.


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