My Boyfriend Checked My Texts, What Should I Do?

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, our girls are talking about what to do when your boyfriend or girlfriend checks your texts:

simonerubioxo said:
“I’m fairly new to serious relationships but when my boyfriend took my phone and looked at my texts I was really upset. I’d like to have some privacy & it honestly hurt me that he doesn’t trust me. Why would he do that? I would never check his texts, I trust him.. He’s also always snooping around, I don’t get it. Why doesn’t he trust me?”

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Posted in: Boards, Relationships
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  • Serena Jane Baker

    my boyfriend is reading my facebook messages and I don’t know why because I am not a cheater. what do I do?

  • annie

    Well I’ve never been in a serious relationship before so this whole thing is new to me, I don’t care about going through people’s phone because I find that that is none of my business. If he had asked I would not have been annoyed and then he made an issue over nothing…which was the fact that I voice called an old class-mate on skype that just happens to be male.

  • Zama

    I have the exact same problem. I have expressed how I feel about the subject a million times to him and still, he looks through my phone. I have even caught him going through my whatsapp messages and he thinks that I dnt knw about it, I jst decided to shutup because talking to him about it has proven to be futile. Trust is a huge thing for me in a relationship, its so draining to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust you when u know very well that you deserve that trust.

    • Kris

      Im In The EXACT SAME BOAT. Coudnt have said it better myself. Matter of fact….i got him the last two nights. Yet he refuses to admit hes even doing it, since he “promised” to stop a million times. -.-

  • Daniel

    Sort it out sooner rather than later. Trust is one of the foundations of a relationship, and if you are having trouble with that now, then it will not get better. If you respect his privacy, then he has to give you yours. He might have been cheated on before and that does make it harder, but he cannot drag his past relationship problems into his present one. Be calm about it, talk to him sensibly, but talk to him.

  • Random girl

    Typically I’ve noticed its because he doesn’t trust you completely, which is completely normal because hey people aren’t perfect, or he is just curious about you day to day life. My boyfriend of 4 years still likes going through my phone, it rarely bothers me but I understand the frustration. This behavior of phone-snooping is harmless in most cases, unless your unfaithful at which point you have no right to complain. He is doing it for a reason.

    There are plenty of things that could be a reason for lack of trust: past relationships, trust issues, arguments that exceed normal intensity, he thinks your acting oddly, ect. You could try to put a passcode and when confronted about it just explain your feelings about him going through your phone. Which can work and get him to stop or he may still demand the passcode, in which case you remind him it’s your personal business and you want him to respect your privacy. Then if that doesn’t work well… Your on your own here girly.

    Hope your relation is long and happy.

  • Robert

    He’s most likely been cheated on before and this is how he found out. Best bet is to not have anything for him to be suspicious about. My fiancé and I both Agree and allow the other to reply to messages or even check each others phones since we have nothing to hide. He could be suspicious cause of guilt himself. Why not ask how he would feel if you keep checking his phone? If you both have nothing to hide why worry?

  • jiyoon0530

    I would suggest talking to him about it.
    Just tell him honestly that it upsets you, and it hurts that he can’t trust you.
    Just talk it out, get to understand each other more, yeah…
    see how it goes
    and if he still does it after the talk, you should really consider putting on a passcode lock–because it’s a matter of privacy and personal space right? (well if you haven’t already done so)
    I think that your boyfriend should respect that.
    well, hope I helped!

  • gianna

    I wouldn’t over analyze it. He probably just cares about you. Just put a passcode lock on it maybe, and then he wont be able to snoop!