10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Controlling

The scary thing about a controlling relationship is that a lot of the time, we don’t even realize we’re in one. When you’re in love with someone, it’s sort of like putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses – you see the happy things, the things you want to see. It’s easy to ignore the ugly things – for example, that your boyfriend might be a little too controlling.

Sometimes we don’t realize this until we get an outside perspective. I was once in a controlling relationship and I know that I didn’t realize how controlling it was until after we broke up. Looking back, I see that there are so many signs that I noticed by chose to ignore. Dealing with a controlling boyfriend isn’t easy and, unfortunately, it can turn into an abusive relationship way too easily. Check out these signs that your boyfriend is too controlling – and if he is, get yourself out of there before it’s too late.

Do you think your boyfriend might too controlling? Have you ever been in a controlling relationship? What’s your story? Tell me in the comments.


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  • gayle

    Is he controlling if he doesnt let me wear tanktops or v-necks with a tanktop up under them?

  • Tina

    I fell hard for a abusive controlling man that had huge jealousy issues. Now I know why all his exes ran for the hills. He lied about his past and what the REAL reason was for the breakups. He came after me and swept me off my feet. He set the perfect stage for his oscar winning performance of a sweet charming SMOOTHTALKING actor. He wrote love poems and love letters to me. Always playing love songs to me. He told me daily how much he needed me, he called me daily and kept me on the phone for hours. Told me he loved me too soon. I had no clue what was going on, he moved so fast and hid his issues. Six months into this crazy relationship, his fake mask was coming off. He started hating my child and my family. He started dictating what kind of shirts I could wear. Where i can go..He criticized everything in my life. He accused ME of showing him dis respect when I told him he was abusive and sent him an article clearly showing his personality. I can’t stress enough how these kind of men will never change. He lied about going to therapy, he claimed he was changing but that i needed to be better person for him. Lol seriously I think he was messed up mentally. I laugh at him now. I left and am so glad that I never married him. I couldn’t imagine spending a life with him, it would be the worst thing I could of done for me and my child. He must of thought I was that stupid not to know better, well I have had great boyfriends so I knew he was not worth my time and effort. There is so much better and normal mentally stable men out there. Don’t fall for the fake facade that the abuser portrays at the beginning. It’s a total lie and fake and you will never see him like that after he has you in his abusive grip. Your nothing to these men but their latest narcissistic supply. Leaving an abusive person is the best decision you can ever make for yourself and your family and you will never ever regret it.

  • trix

    My mother thinks that if your boyfriend buys you shoes,clothes, anf purse that you like is controlling ? How is that controlling, when he is paying attention what you like ?

  • Hmmm

    Hmm, 9/10 but only because it’s long distance and he can’t be with me24/7. My friends tell me that the only way he’ll ever let me leave him is in a coffin. I think those are serious comments. He threatened to kill me, my family and my friends. But I can’t bring myself to breakup with him.

  • sherry

    my boyfriend have all of the signs of controlling,for 3 years I saw the sign I through i I could change him or he would change. As the years go by it continue Im planing to leave at the end of my lease 6/0/2014. I wont to be free again to do and say all of the things that I want to do and have a piece of mind.

    • Jennifer

      i am currently in a relationship that is controlling and i had no idea until literally three days ago, i am suppose to marry him but i cant do that. i cant have friends that are male or see my family cause he doesnt like them. but i am at the end of this i am moving and he is not coming with me. i am so tired he was not like this in the beginng almost three years and nothing is getting better. i feel like i need to do whats best for me. Everyone that has known me says you are to good for him and you should just leave him you deserve so much better. now i just have to figure a way to do this.

  • Charisma

    My boyfriend and I are dating 4months now. I know its still short but we are planning our future together. We live together aswell,I’m actually helping him out with a place to stay.lately we’ve been argueing way more than usually,he constantly checks my phone and just to not feel so awkward at times I would then ask to check his…he keeps track of my guy friends I chat to at times,I don’t even start the conversation first but he always wants to know who every guy contact on my bbm/whatsapp is. He wants to know what I’m doing all day everyday. When he is not with me he expects me to chat with him wholetime. He doesn’t want to go clubbing with me so when I go with my girl bestie he gets upset and starts an arguement with me,he would ask people to watch me and to assure him that I really am with my girl bestie. When there’s a problem and we argue he keeps raising he’s voice. He never apologises when he is wrong and will bring up past occurences to prove a point and wants to be right. I ask him to let go and to just put it behind us because I hate argueing to extent where it feels like my head is about to explode I tell him that I have a headache and let’s leave it even though he was the wrong one. He would then continue moaning or sit there grumpy then tries to talk with me but then starts argueing again…I love this guy to bits but I’m not sure what to do…

  • larcien

    got 10 out of 10
    I’m scared and sick of it totally sick of it
    Searching the exit sign
    Or to wake up from this bad dream

  • brokenHeart

    my girlfriend got an 8 out of 10 on this i feel like its not workin out but im so scared to leave her i feel like i might be lost with out her but she makes me feel bad all the time and is too damn jealous im 18 her friends little brother is 15 he is super cool funny and nice we dont flirt or anything i just talk to him when she decides to ignore me and she gets super pissed and accuses me of flirting i mean come on im 18 hes 15 thats so stupid

  • Cupcake112

    I just read this and am sitting here in horror. My ex boyfriend ticks all the boxes and it took me 3 years to figure it out. He was everything bad to me. Called me names. Blamed me for everything. Made me feel useless and ugly. I am so glad its over. So happy with the current boyfriend.