The scary thing about a controlling relationship is that a lot of the time, we don’t even realize we’re in one. When you’re in love with someone, it’s sort of like putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses – you see the happy things, the things you want to see. It’s easy to ignore the ugly things – for example, that your boyfriend might be a little too controlling.
Sometimes we don’t realize this until we get an outside perspective. I was once in a controlling relationship and I know that I didn’t realize how controlling it was until after we broke up. Looking back, I see that there are so many signs that I noticed by chose to ignore. Dealing with a controlling boyfriend isn’t easy and, unfortunately, it can turn into an abusive relationship way too easily. Check out these signs that your boyfriend is too controlling – and if he is, get yourself out of there before it’s too late.
He Gets Angry When You Do Things Without HimThis might be the biggest sign of a controlling boyfriend - that he doesn't want you to do anything when he's not involved. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you guys can't do stuff on your own sometimes. Your boyfriend shouldn't be getting mad at you for hanging with friends without him, going to party if he's not around or innocently talking to guys without him there. That's not cool! If he can't let you have any time to yourself, that's a sign that he wants to be in control of what you're doing all the time. It's not fair, especially if he gets to do his own thing (which is usually how controlling relationships work). Source: ShutterStock
He Tries To Look At Your StuffI'm always telling you guys not to look through your boyfriend's phone or Facebook or anything like that - and it goes both ways. He shouldn't be sneaking through your stuff either. It's a sign that he doesn't trust you and it's also a way for him to check up on you - basically to make sure you're not doing anything he doesn't approve of. Your personal stuff is private and not for your BF to go through. Don't ever feel like you have to share every part of your life with him. That's when things get too controlling. Source: ShutterStock
He Hates All Of Your FriendsA controlling guy will usually hate on everyone else in your life because he wants to be your number one, all the time. My ex was very controlling and he hated all of my friends so much that he slowly convinced me to stop talking to every single one of them. That's not okay. In a relationship, you should both be able to have your own friends. Source: ShutterStock
He Always Has To Pay For EverythingIt's always nice when a dude offers to pay for stuff for you. There's nothing wrong with letting your boyfriend pay for dinner or the movies or whatever. It gets controlling when he wants to literally pay for everything. Like, if he starts paying for your clothes, helping with your phone bill, buying you makeup, etc. This isn't always as nice as it seems - sometimes, it's a way to control you. If he's always the one footing the bill, he feels he gets more of a say in what you're doing. If your BF gets angry when you pay for something, take that as a bad sign. Source: ShutterStock
He Wants To Be Around You 24/7Aw, isn't it so sweet when your boyfriend wants to hang out every day and text every minute when you're not together? Um, sort of, I guess? There's a fine line between this being cute and this being controlling. In the beginning of the relationship, it's cute. When things get more serious, it's not always as cute. If a guy insists on being with you or talking to you 24/7, it means he wants to always know what you're doing. At that point, you need to be like, chill bro... everyone needs a little space once in a while. Source: ShutterStock
He Tries To Tell You What To DoYour boyfriend should never tell you what you can and cannot do. He shouldn't be saying, "you can't wear that" or "you can't go there." My ex used to buy me clothes so that I would wear what he wanted me to wear - at first I thought it was sweet, but then I realized it was just because he didn't want me to wear certain things. Just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you have to listen to everything they say. Source: ShutterStock
He Blames Everything On YouIn a controlling relationship, things like this usually happens: your BF does something wrong, you get mad about it, you guys start fighting and he somehow ALWAYS manages to turn things around so that whatever he did is your fault. By the end of the fight, you're the only apologizing and feeling guilty when it should be the other way around. This is not okay. This is your BF's way of having power over you and that's not cool. Source: ShutterStock
He Gets Super JealousA little jealousy can be flattering... until it becomes a lot of jealousy and then it's just annoying. If you've never given your boyfriend a reason to doubt you, then why should he not trust you? Your BF getting super jealous of everything you do or anyone you talk to could really mean that he's just angry that you have a life that doesn't always involve him. That's a power struggle thing for control. Source: ShutterStock
You Feel Like You Can't Make Decisions Without HimDo you feel like you have to call your boyfriend to ask for his opinion anytime you're trying to decide on anything? Do you feel like you can't wear a certain dress without asking him what he thinks first? Does it seem like he gets mad when you make a big decision without his input? If so, this could be a problem. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can't think for yourself. Don't let your BF make you feel like you can't do things without getting his OK first. Source: ShutterStock
He Puts You DownHere's what a controlling boyfriend will do to you: he'll put you down for things until you get really upset... and then he'll pick you right back up again. This is his way of controlling your emotions. It's also really emotionally abusive, which is basically what controlling is. Your BF should never be picking you apart, making fun of you or telling you you're stupid. He should support you because he loves you and knows how great you are. Source: ShutterStock
Do you think your boyfriend might too controlling? Have you ever been in a controlling relationship? What’s your story? Tell me in the comments.