8 Things That Do Not Make You A Slut

I was perusing the message boards and came across the topic “What would you call a slut?” asked by a girl whose friends are judging her because of her sex life. It made me so upset that this girl has to ask this question and that her friends are so judgmental. My friends judged me when I lost my virginity, and it was so hurtful.

I am so tired of hearing people call girls sluts for having active sex lives. Just because you personally do not make the same decisions regarding sex does not make someone else a slut. Your sex life is your business, always. And slut is a super judgmental term. It’s outdated, and quite frankly, stupid. Having any sort of sex life is a personal choice. No one should feel badly about having an active one, just like no one should feel badly about not having an active sex life.

So in case you’re wondering about sluts, here are some things that do not make you a slut.

 
What do you think a slut is? Have you ever been called a slut? Have you ever called someone else a slut? Tell us in the comments.
 

Is virginity really that important?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!


Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships
Tags: , ,
  • Natalie

    While there is no term equivalent to that of slut for men, woman are partially to blame for this. We as a whole seem to keep this double standard raging. For example, a man in his twenties who is still a virgin is automatically pooled into “there’s something wrong with him” section yet a woman in the same situation is praised. Male sexuality has been praised for centuries just as femal sexuality has been condemned. Why is this? Again, woman are the ones who seem to encourage this double standard. The only way to be rid of this is for woman to accept that they need to put more pressure on males to be more respectful of themselves and the women around them and to refrain themselves from being snarky b*****s to their fellow sisters. This, of course, is nearly impossible because woman are hardwired to be jealous, manipulative creatures who see it fit to belittle another woman just because of her choice of life style. To me, a slut is any woman OR man who instigates in sexual activity with someone who is in a relationship and they knew fully well but just didn’t care. It is these people with absolutely no respect for other’s relationships that I feel are truely poor and obnoxious. I have had this happen to me on one occasion. The other woman knew my ex was in an exclusive relationship and she went out of her way to get on top of him. She is a slut in my book. She completely undermined our relationship and was actually happy about it. I have moved on but I will not forget that there are people out there who enjoy doing this just for the challenge and only go after men or women in relationships. A girl who likes to have casual encounters with eligible men is not a slut, a girl who forces her way into a relationship because she enjoys it is. This is my simple opinion and many will not agree and that is fine, I am in no way trying to impose my opinion onto anyone. I am simply sharing my perspective on this subject.

    • Arminds’ copy of Swank

      “While there is no term equivalent to that of slut for men”

      There is though, gigalo , stud, and perhaps fuckboy

      Great post overall though 😉

  • Nicole

    All you over sensitive people trying to tell people not to “slut shame” crack me up. It’s called being allowed to voice your own opinions. Let’s turn the tables here: why do you care if people call women sluts? After all it’s none of your business what someone else says with their own mouth.

    • nonamehere

      What a shitty argument. What do you care if anyone says anything ever?
      Second, “it’s none of your business what anyone says with their mouth”? Why? Because of the second amendment? If someone wants you to fuck off with your abuse, you’re probably being an asshole, and they’re showing you the door. That’s not violating anything. And if your statements are so indefensible that all you can say is that they’re literally not illegal, you probably should shut the fuck up.

  • Mimzy

    Honestly if someone calls me a slut for having a healthy sex life, I’d tell them “thank you, I really appreciate the compliment, I love sex and I am not ashamed of doing something I enjoy..why don’t you do yourself a favor and go sleep with someone, maybe it’ll fix your jealous ugly ass attitude” if I was sleeping with your man however, it’s not my intention to be sleeping with him cuz I didn’t know, therefore blame him rather than blame me, cuz I had no idea he was taken…honestly though what’s the issue here, if you are doing it for yourself and you enjoy it and your being safe about it, why the hell not..and even if a girl has an unusual sexual appetite and is being unsafe about it, slut shaming her isn’t helping her.. So honestly you are actually adding to the problem, because she probably hates herself more than you could ever..so stop that thank you

  • Annie

    Okay, now let’s take the meaning of the word slut.
    I would like to use the “promiscuous woman”
    So why does a slut taken to be such a harsh word? Because of the actual meaning of the word, in the olden days sluts were seen as dirty women as many people didn’t engage in sex out of wedlock, hence they wouldn’t be able to have sex with different people as they’d have to marry them.
    Now I understand that it is a derogatory word however a word can only be derogatory if it’s meaning is. So a slut is a promiscuous woman, hence people who do have a lot of sex with different people are sluts. What we need to learn is that we have evolved and many people do have sex before marriage or after they are divorced with multiple sexual partners, they may be female sluts or male sluts. We just need to let go of the idea that being a slut is bad, men and women go explore your sexual needs, be sexually active, be sluts.
    Sluts should not be badly seen in society as they are just a different word for promiscuous.

  • franny

    Samantha Gyllenskog

  • Jacki

    What is really going on here? No, a 15 yr old should not be having sex with her boyfriend if she feels like it! Just because her body is telling her she’s ready for it, doesn’t mean her brain is. At 15 you’re not even mature enough to know how immature you really are! What’s the rush? How many friends do you have that look back with regret that they didn’t give it up sooner? Not many I’d imagine.

  • Jay

    Some of the comments for this article are so depressing. You think sleeping with lots of people makes you a slut? Why the hell do you need to insult someone for doing something that doesn’t hurt anyone?
    You are either a) jealous or b) judgemental and think everyone should act just like you.
    Oh and you are definitely sexist, even If you are female because NO equivalent word has ever existed for guys. Slut is just a way to make women feel bad about their sexuality, a privilege which many people feel belongs to men only.

    • Arminds’ copy of Swank

      “doing something that doesn’t hurt anyone?”

      It can though. It can hurt themselves or their partners by contracting STDs or having an unplanned pregnancy resulting in a child or abortion or hurt only themselves via encountering violent partners or resulting in sex addiction and so forth, nearly all of which would be avoided by having less partners.

      “NO equivalent word has ever existed for guys”

      Stud, Gigalo, Manwhore

  • Jay

    No, that makes you a bitch.

  • poprocks7

    … Just because the word slut hurts your feelings doesn’t mean there’s no such thing as one. I’m sorry but if you sleep with my man, along with 10 other taken men in a short time period, you a nasty hoe. And people judging people is a part of life. That what make you want to leave the house, not smelling like musty garbage. So, so what if your a slut, you go and be a slut if you want to and don’t care what people think. Its not mine, or anybodies choice but yours, just don’t get in between my relationships and you won’t get problems from me.

    • Katie Anderson

      Lol she only freshens up and cleans when there are people judging her. I thought people wash themselves because they like to be andsmell clean. A matter of self opinion and self guidance. As long as an individual is kepeping themselves free safe and healthy they can lovr and fuck as many oeople at atime as they want.monogomy is just do parasitic and teaches people to be possessive and judgemental.

  • amy

    I was married for a long time and we got divorced.. I’ve dated.. obviously none of them really worked and does that make me a slut for dating? I’m not saying I had sexual encounters with all of them.. however i have some asshole friends who are all happily married or with someone that had went around calling me a slut. I mean how the hell do you find a partner if its wrong to date? Maybe i just shouldn’t date?? Fu king stupid… its called dating so u get to know ppl.

    • Kurtis Caldwell

      Dating does not make you a slut, screwing all your dates do, people need to feel bad for bad behavior.

  • spiceykayla

    Honestly if your having sex with multiple people in a short amount of time , im going to call you a slut . Sorry that’s my opinion . #sorrynotsorry

    • Brenna

      what’s with the hashtags? You know this isn’t Twitter, right? Oh, and it’s “you’re” by the way. And it’s my opinion that you’re a bitter slut-shamer who hates people for expressing their sexuality. So ya know. sorry, not sorry.

      • Gretel

        “Expressing their sexuality,” nice euphemism.

      • Splash

        We know you’re mad at her and calling her out on her grammar because you’re insecure that you fucked a bunch of people in a short period of time.

      • Kurtis Caldwell

        If one is not a slut how can one be shamed, you know spiceykayla is right because you know what she’s talking about.

  • Tortoise

    Honestly I think that unless you are having sex with a person, their sex lives are not your business in any way. If they have sex with a few people then so be it. If they have sex with you then you can start delving into their lives and sexual encounters.
    women who have a lot of sex are commonly deemed “slutty” but maybe she has enough self respect to want great sex. Personally I dont think I would ever have multiple partners, but I cant stop others from doing it so I say do it safe and have fun

  • Shane

    This is just my personal opinion, not trying to start a fight. I know slut is an over-used, very offensive word, but I still think that some girls can be considered one… or at least be considered something that has the same meaning as slut.

    If you have sex with a lot of people… i’ll just assume you like sex lol. But if you go and have sex with anyone just because you want to, not caring about consequences or others I would consider you a slut (or some other word of the same meaning). What I mean by that is mainly if you have sex with a lot of guys including other peoples boyfriends and husbands.

    I’m not going to pretend to be a saint and say that I would never call another girl a a slut, because if a girl has sex with my boyfriend, and knows that he’s taken, then they’ll both be dealing with a number of names I’d be calling them. But I would never call a girl a slut just as a random insult, I use my words with meaning.

    • Sierra

      If someone is having sex in an unhealthy way, or as you said, “have sex with anyone just because you want to, not caring about consequences or others”, I would say the last thing they need it to be shamed for it. They probably just need help and support.

  • Tosin

    I think some of these are slightly untrue. I believe that having sex with a number of people does make you a slut. After all, the definition of the word is a dirty, slovenly woman.
    Slovenly untidy or unclean in appearance or habits. In my opinion, having sex with too many guys is a dirty habit because it’s highly unlikely that you loved all of them. But I have very strict views on sex. I think the way you dress can make you appear to be a slut but does not make you one.

  • Alana

    I don’t believe, no matter what you do, that anyone is a slut. However, I would use the word promiscuous, or inappropriate. There are certain times for certain outfits, and the grocery store is not the place for a leather mini skirt, for example. There are also certain places for certain activities, and the school hallway is not a good place to make out with your boyfriend.

  • Roselove445

    I know this isn’t what the article is about but I really love that girls bra in slide two. Its really cute.
    And also cleavage defiantly does not make a girl slutty. I have some massive boobs (and I really hate them) and the only thing I don’t have cleavage on is turtle necks. I’ve had more than one embarrassing mishaps with the boobage. Honestly I give a girl props for using her cleavage to her advantage because I sure as hell can’t

  • Hanna

    A slut is a slovenly or promiscuous woman. Slovenly is messy or dirty, and promiscuous means having many transient sexual relationships. By definition, if you decide to have a whole bunch of flings in a short period of time, that makes you a slut. The same goes for the way you dress. No one should actually run around calling people derogatory names, but I don’t know what you expect to happen if you act/dress like one.

    • Tosin

      I agree with you 100% 🙂

    • haggis

      i love you for saying this. imagine someone dressed as a police officer, and someone steals your purse. you yell for the police officer to do something, and he just says, “no i’m not a police officer i’m just dressed as one”. it’s the same as slutty clothing. kind of. except that there is no technical definition for slutty clothing, so you have to be more sensitive with that one… like revealing clothing is ok, just as long as it isn’t taken too far.

  • LALA

    First off, I think slut is an offensive term. I think there should be a more accurate and mature term than just “slut”. Secondly, for me, being a slut means having sex with a different person every week/day. It’s disgusting. And unless someone is old enough (like in their twenties), they shouldn’t be having sex in the first place. It’s digusting to know that your daughter in high school is fooling around with men while there are more important things to do. How parents let this happen, I don’t know. Maybe they’re just idiots.

    • Gen

      Excuse you?

      First off, having sex with people several times a day doesn’t make you a slut. It makes you someone who enjoy sex, that’s all. I don’t know how old you are, but clearly, you’re quite immature to call sex “gross” and “disgusting”.
      Secondly, who are you to tell at what age people are supposed to have sex? Sorry Darling, but if a 15 year old decides to have sex with her boyfriend, it’s none of your business, thank you.
      And finally, parents who let their kids have sex are not idiots; they’re just aware that their teenagers are exploring their bodies and respect their choice, something you do not seem to understand here. As long as they teach their kids what safe sex is (i.e; taking the pill, using a condom, talking about STDs and STIs, etc), they’re not idiots. As long as their grades don’t get affected from a sexual relationship (?) I don’t see how there could be more important things to do; if you’re done with homeworks, a Friday night with your sweet-heart, what’s wrong with having sex?

      Having consensual sex does not makes you a slut, no matter how many times a day. You should stop slut-shaming right away.

      • kee

        wow, you must be a teenager.

      • ifyouseekamy

        I’m sorry, but you should wake the fuck up. If you fuck different people everyday, no matter how many times, you are a fucking slut. Im sick of people lke you that love to pretend because we live in a modern era everything has to change even the meaning of words ; get over it, slutty behavior DOES exist, both male and females can act this way, and ill fucking judge people like that all i fucking want.

        If you dress, behave, and are a slut i`ll judge you all i want.

        • Splash

          thank you, sluts are real. Why she trying to excuse poor parenting and poor behavior? smh

      • EH

        Umm… if you’re 15 and have sex with an adult it’s still considered statutory rape consensual or not.

  • A Girl

    If having sex with 15 people doesn’t make you a slut, then what the hell does it make you?!

    • Gen

      Uhm, maybe a sexually active woman? A woman who’s comfortable with her sexuality? A woman who’s happy with her choices and likes to feel good through sex? A woman who wants to experience stuff with the people she trusts sexually speaking?

      I don’t think you got the message here. Go read the slide-show again, maybe you’ll get that no one should be called a slut, no matter your beliefs. That’s just rude.

      • emmawatson

        “Sexually active” does not mean you should fuck a different person every week. If you are comfortable with your sexuality, it might also mean you value it and take your time to get to know someone before engaging in sexual acts.

        Calling someone a slut is appropriate when that person acts like one, same way if you are too uptight ill call you uptight. Don’t want to be call a slut ? do not be one.

        • But why do you care so much to the point of calling somebody a gendered slur just because they have a lot of sex with different people. Why does it matter?

    • Anna

      I kind of/sort of agree with you. I have no problem with being sexually active, but I do think it’s kind of gross to sleep with a ton of different people. That said, “slut” isn’t a very nice thing to call somebody, even if you think they are one.

      • EH

        I agree with everything on the list EXCEPT that one.

  • Lexxi

    What DOES make you a slut? Hooking up with other people’s partners?

    • That makes you a careless jerk. But the larger point of this article is that cruel, gendered insults like “slut” shouldn’t be used in the first place.

      • Lexxi

        Ugh right? Slut shaming is the worst, someone should be able to hook up with whoever, whenever and wherever they choose as long as it isn’t hurting anybody. Sadly almost all of my friends don’t agree.

        • Matth

          Your friends were just raised to higher standards.

    • Jay

      No, that makes you a bitch.