You’ve been in this situation before: you meet a guy who is really great. You guys hit it off, you start hanging out, hooking up… you’re pretty sure he likes you and will be asking you to be his girlfriend in the very near future. But that near future comes and goes and, um, this dude still isn’t dating you. He hangs out with you, you guys cuddle, you talk about stuff… so why isn’t he dating you?!
I hear girls – my friends, you guys, randoms I overhear – complaining about this issue all.the.time. And I’m not going to lie, I used to do the same exact thing. It’s a frustrating situation! But the sooner we can figure out why this particular person doesn’t want to be your boyfriend, the sooner you can say eff him and move on. Here are 10 possible reasons why your crush isn’t dating you:
You're Lying To Him About What You WantI see this all the time. You really like this guy, but you don't want to scare him off. Maybe you're scared to be vulnerable because you recently got hurt by someone else. So, you insist to this dude that you don't want a relationship because you think it's what he wants to hear. Months go by and you can't help wondering why he won't make things legit - until he does with someone else and then you're furious. But can you really blame the guy?! If you're actively telling a guy you don't want a relationship, he's going to think you don't want a relationship! So he's going to be casual with you for a while until he meets someone who does want one. When you say something like that, you're not putting off a sexy, I don't care vibe. You're basically telling the dude that you only want something casual - so don't be surprised when he listens. Source: ShutterStock
He Knows He Can Take Advantage Of YouI used to have a friend who was hanging out with this dude for over a year. She treated him like he is her boyfriend... but he didn't treat her like she's his girlfriend. She did everything for him, doting on him, making him food, giving him rides, sexual stuff... all while letting him do whatever he wanted on the side. Then she wondered why he wouldn't make her his girlfriend. Look, ladies: if you're going to do this, the dude then knows that he can do whatever he wants and you'll still be there, no matter what. This is not good. He's a jerk for taking advantage of your feelings, but you also need to stand up for yourself. Don't let this happen! If he won't sacrifice things for you, dont' sacrifice things for him. Source: ShutterStock
Your Relationship Quickly Became All About Hooking UpA few years ago, I met a guy I really liked. The very first night we hung out, I went to his house after work and we hooked up. Our relationship never went any further than a casual hookup situation. I see this happen practically every day with different people. Unfortunately, with most guys, if you want them to get serious about you, you can't make everything about hooking up. If you do, they'll assume that's all you want, too, even if it isn't. I know it stinks, but it's also very true and happens way too often. If you're seriously interested in a guy, ask him to go out somewhere the first time instead of agreeing to "watch a movie" with him at home. Source: ShutterStock
He's Just Not Ready For That CommitmentMaybe this dude just got out of a long relationship and he wants to be single for a while. Maybe he got really hurt before and he doesn't want it to happen again. Whatever the reason, your crush just might not want this kind of commiment at the moment. In that case, you can either give him time or move on and meet someone who is ready. Source: ShutterStock
You're Trying Too Hard To Make Him JealousAnother friend of mine has been casually seeing her crush for a few weeks now. One night, she decided to try to make him jealous by posting pics online with some random guy friends of hers with a flirty caption. Did it make him jealous? Yeah. Did it make him think she was fooling around with other people and therefore didn't really like him as much as he thought? Yup. Don't go out of your way to make a guy you're seeing jealous. It's going to backfire. Source: ShutterStock
You're Giving Off The Wrong SignalsEven if you really care about a dude, it's totally possible that you're sending the wrong signals, causing him to think that you're not interested. Whether it's because you're shy, awkward, don't want to seem to vulnerable or don't want to scare him off, you coule be unintentionally ruining your chance at a relationship. Don't be afraid to let him know what you want. Source: ShutterStock
He's Not Really Over His Ex YetSometimes, even if a guy says he's over his ex, he's lying. We all lie about our exes, right? If your crush is being super casual with you and you know he recently ended a relationship with someone else, be wary of this. He could still be pining over his ex, wishing she would come back to him. In that case, it sometimes doesn't even matter how much he likes you... this is something he needs to figure out on his own. Source: ShutterStock
You're Being A Little Too ClingyI'll just say it: being too clingy or needy is annoying. Guys don't dig it, even if they really dig you. One of my guy friends recently was hanging out with a girl he really liked... until he realized how needy she was. She wanted to see him every night, text all day long, involve him in major PDA everywhere they went... it was just too much. He felt suffocated and was nervous that things would get worse if they got serious. Look, it's totally fine to tell someone you really like them, but it's also important to give people a little space. Source: ShutterStock
He Likes Someone ElseYour crush who you've been hanging out with? Yeah, he could be a total player. Maybe he has a girlfriend you don't know about or maybe he's pursuing another girl he likes more than you and is using you as a distraction or backup. I know that sounds harsh, but it happens. If you think he's seeing other girls, get out of there. Source: ShutterStock
He Just Isn't That Into YouSometimes, there are no hidden reasons as to why a guy isn't dating you. Sometimes it's as simple as this: he just doesn't like you enough. I know that's really hard to hear, but it could also be true. You can't force anyone to like you and sometimes, things just don't work out the way you want them to. If he doesn't appreciate your awesomeness, that stinks for him. Source: ShutterStock
Are you in this situation right now? Do you think these reasons are correct? What other reasons did I forget? Tell me in the comments.