Being a 22-year-old virgin is super fun because I get to be subjected to a bunch of assumptions as to why I still have my V-card. Theses assumptions include but are not limited to the following:
- I’m waiting for the perfect guy/relationship to come along.
- I’m waiting for marriage.
- I’m waiting for my celebrity crush to become single so that I can snatch him up before another model beats me to the punch.
Out of these three options, option number three is the closest to reality, which says a lot about how true these assumptions really are.
Here’s the common misconception that I think a lot of people have about virgins over the age of 18: We’re all waiting for some moral or personal reason. People think we want to wait for the long-term relationship, we want to wait until we get the bible’s stamp of approval, we want to wait until we make the perfect slow jams playlist and not a second sooner, etc.
While that might be true for plenty of gals who haven’t had the ol’ sexual intercourse, it’s not true for all of us.
Let me be frank: I’m not waiting for a perfect scenario or because of religion or any of that stuff. I’m not even waiting, because I’m not attached to my virginity whatsoever.
Honestly, if my v-card could be compared to anything, it is sort of like when you just finished a tiny bag of chips but you can’t find a trash can to throw it away, so you sort of awkwardly hang onto it, maybe stuff it in your purse and tell yourself that you’re going to throw it out the second you find a trash can. But then you forget about it and then the next day you notice that it’s still in there and you go, “Huh, whoops, forgot about that, I guess.” So basically, imagine that I’ve been carrying this empty chips bag in my purse for the past few years and I’ve never been near a trash can whenever I remember that I need to throw it out. In a nutshell, that’s how I see my virginity.
Does that make sense? Or do you just want some chips right now?
I think that the concept of virginity is at best sexist and at worst a masochistic ploy to make teens and young adults rely on the history of their privates to dictate their desirability or lack thereof. But when it comes to the v-card, I just haven’t come across the right set of circumstances to make a hookup move from hapless fantasy to reality.
Friends of mine have told me that all I need to do is go to a party, find some guy, stick my tongue down his throat and the rest is up to the party gods and the accessibility to birth control. Well, maybe that’s easier said than done for some of us. I’m not even the shy type whatsoever, but I just haven’t really had an opportunity to get to a point of mutual “hey let’s make out and do stuff sometime” territory with a guy yet.
I’m usually okay with that, even though I can get a little self-conscious about it every now and then. It sucks, but I’m not as bummed out about it as you might think. I know that it’ll happen, hopefully sooner rather than later, but I just wish that people would stop assuming that not having sex means that I’m either being super prudish or put a lot of value in my virginity.
Sometimes not having sex yet just means you haven’t gotten around to having sex yet. Nothing more, nothing less. It is what it is!
Are any of you in the same boat? Is or was the idea of losing your virginity a big deal to you or not? Tell us in the comments!