The idea of hooking up with somebody under the watchful eye of our parents isn’t exactly sexy. In fact, the very idea reminds me of Regina George’s “cool mom” who had so much fun living vicariously through her daughter in Mean Girls that she enthusiastically suggested that she give her daughter a condom mid hookup session.
But according to the New York Times, it’s becoming increasingly common for progressive parents to allow their kids to have their boyfriend or girlfriend spend the night.
We all know what that means, right? Sexing it up in your bedroom with your creepy Taylor Lautner poster that you haven’t thrown out (yet) staring back at you and–this is key–your parents’ approval.
Well, I’m of two minds about this.
Logistically this is a good move. Parents know what their kid could be getting up to once they’re in some kind of romantic relationship. The thought might make them want to die, but they know what’s up. So why not make sure that they’re fooling around in a safe environment instead of being reckless and sneaking off somewhere to get the job done? It’s a bit like the justification for drinking under the parents’ roof: They’d rather you do it in the home so that they can make sure you’re okay than out in the streets without any adult supervision.
Because most teen drinking occurs in the mean, suburban streets… or something.
So, theoretically, having these boyfriend/girlfriend sexy sleepover fun times is more about maintaining a sense of parental control than trying to score cool points with the kids these days. That’s great and doesn’t venture into cool mom territory.
So when does the other half of my mind come in? Honestly, the only problem I have with all of this is totally personal. I never had to deal with this kind of situation when I was a teenager, but if I did there was no way that my parents would feel comfortable with having my boyfriend spend the night in my bed so that we could get it on.
Also, there is no way I’d ever want my parents to even fathom the idea of me having sex in the first place, especially not when I was 16-years-old, especially under their roof, especially when sex is not the most silent extracurricular activity. Maybe this is a little weird, but as progressive as my family is, we’re pretty puritanical in the realm of sex. I mean, they never even gave me The Talk, not that I regret that or anything.
When all is said and done, however, my personal aversion to this isn’t important. It all comes down to comfort level. If your parents are okay with you having your boyfriend or girlfriend spend the night doing everything other than sleeping, I think that that shows a pretty healthy amount of mutual trust that usually isn’t seen in teen vs. parent dynamics. Sure, I’m still cringing about the very thought of all of this, but I know that it’s right. It’s so much better than having parents who don’t want you to have any freedom with your love life and would prefer that you have cramped sex in your boyfriend’s burnt out Honda Civic in the middle of nowhere than in a safe space.
Besides, isn’t that how a ton of horror movies start? Might want to avoid that.
But what do you all think about this? Is it weird that some parents let their kids have their boyfriends and girlfriends spend the night? Would your parents be cool with it? Tell us in the comments!