From The Message Boards: How Do I Know If This Is The Real Thing?

When you develop strong feelings for someone, it’s difficult to differentiate between like and love. How are you supposed to know if you just like someone or if it’s the real deal? Are you just confusing a really strong like with love?

That’s exactly what y’all are talking about this week on the message boards:

karieketamine said:

“Does he feel the same way about you? Have you ever talked about the feelings you have for him, together?
It sounds like you have some really strong feelings for him. I think ‘love’ is too strong/heavy of a word to use right now, when/if you haven’t talked to him yet about it.”

3Becca said:

“I don’t think you’re ever too young to know what love is. The meaning of the word might change as you grow older, but if it feels real, then it is real to you, so don’t ever listen to people that try to tell you that you’re too young to love. If you think you’re in love, then you might be! But if you have never felt that feeling before, it could just be a big crush that you confuse for love.”

NattyNia said:

“It sounds like you have a case of infatuation. I can only speak from experience when it comes to being in love with an unrelated person I have deep feelings for. This type of love is mutual and is not one-sided. It does not lack the knowledge of feelings and what is understood by both parties as the basis of their love. It sounds like you do not even know this guy you claim to be in love with.

Infatuation keeps you guessing and wondering whether the feelings are mutual. However, love comes along with security in knowing that you are a factor in that person’s life.”

Love is a really tough emotion to describe, but it’s one of those things that you just know when you feel it. And if you have to ask if you’re in love, you’re not. You will know.

I don’t think you can love someone if you don’t know them. Part of falling in love is getting to know a person inside and out. People often confuse infatuation and lust with love because those are strong emotions. Love, on the other hand, is something that develops and that you’ll feel deep within every fiber of your being.

Love is an emotion that can also change. You can go from loving someone as a person to being in love with them. When the switch happens, you’ll feel it.
Have you ever been confused if it’s like or love? How did you know? Tell us in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

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  • 1ConfuzzeledGurl

    my problem is he is younger than me he lives quite far away from me too….i asked him out and he rejected me and now he says he likes me…. but something in my head is screaming don’t go out with him…. i really like him but this feeling won’t go away…. i don’t know what to do….. can some one please help me 🙁

  • evavanhoorne

    I agree with all this, but my problem is, I’m 14 and he’s 19 next month.
    There’s really a connection between us, he gives me all these signs and smiles all the time.. But then i have to remember myself that it can’t be, at least not right now.
    I will definentely wait a couple of years, because he’s the only one for me.
    I can only hope that he’ll feel the same way towards me after a couple years..
    Then I’ll know if he really loves me right now, I guess..
    Any help? Please help me…

  • Eva

    I totally agree with this, but the problem is that I’m 14 and he’s 19 next month.
    I mean, I love him more than anything but it just can’t be.
    I can wait because he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me but he won’t wait for me I think..
    I’m so confused, so please anyone reply if you have anything to say, reply to me.

  • Person

    I clicked on the picture thinking it was about Doctor Who 🙁

  • bronygurl911

    i need help

  • Lexxi

    Love is friendship set on fire.

  • LittleRedWolf

    I totally agree about love being something that happens when you really get to know someone. I do not agree with the people who said it can’t be love if you haven’t talked to the other person, or if it’s not mutual. You can get to know someone and fall in love with them without them feeling the same, or without talking to them about it.