One of the worst feelings ever is getting dumped, especially when it’s happening for the first time ever. Going through a breakup is bad enough as it is, but it gets even worse when you’re the one being rejected and turned down. Since there are so many complicated emotions happening at this time, you’re bound to make some mistakes that will only prolong your misery.
Don’t feel bad if you’ve done these things more than once. I’m not (really) ashamed to say that I have made all of these breakup mistakes and I’m confident that I’m not the only one. Getting dumped makes you feel miserable. Getting over someone you really care about is so hard! So figuring out the right way to act while also dealing with all of those hurt feelings is super difficult. But in an effort to make things easier for you, here are 12 mistakes you’ll make the first time you get dumped in a breakup. Maybe knowing what they are will help you avoid them next time.
You'll Beg For Him BackOnce when I was going through a breakup and acting really pathetic and begging my ex to take me back (it happened), a friend said to me, "You are not a dog. Don't beg." It was a little mean and kind of blunt, but it was what I needed to hear. You should never beg for anyone back - if someone doesn't want to be with you, you can't force them to change their mind, no matter how much it hurts. Begging for an ex back isn't going to make him realize he wants you - it's going to make him feel sorry for you and also probably pretty uncomfortable. I know you would do anything to have your relationship back, but if it's meant to work out, it will - don't try to force it. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Blame YourselfI don't know why you and your BF broke up. But I do know that usually a breakup isn't just one person's fault. I guess in some cases it can be, but typically I don't like to put all of the blame on one person. If a breakup is happening, it's because things weren't working for one reason or another. Don't beat yourself up because he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Don't spend time wondering what you could have done differently. Sometimes these things happen and that doesn't mean you weren't good enough. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Overshare On Social MediaA few years ago, an ex broke up with me and... I went a little crazy. I started making all of these pathetic, depressing Facebook statuses and equally depressing sub-tweets. Everyone who was friends with me was uncomfortable. And when I got over our breakup and thought back on this social media faux pas, I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I now it's tempting to blast your ex all over Facebook or to make a long status about why your life sucks, but do everything you can not to. You WILL regret it one day. Plus, it honestly just looks immature to everyone around you. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Try To Be Just Friends Too SoonYou can totally try to have a platonic friendship with your ex - but you shouldn't try for that right away. If you want to be buddies with your ex, give yourself - and him - some time to move on and get over the relationship. If you guys break up, then immediately try to be friends, you're both going to either fall back into your old pattern of dating or one of you is going to get seriously hurt. Or both. Just give yourself a few weeks or months to get over this dude before you call him up to just chat. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Demand ClosureI'm SUPER guilty of doing this. A few weeks after a relationship ends, I call my ex millions of times saying I NEED to speak to him in person because I NEED closure. In reality, I just wanted to see the dude. I didn't realize this until recently, but the only way I've ever really gotten closure from a relationship has been on my own. Saying you need to see or speak to your ex because you need closure isn't going to give you closure - it's probably just going to give you something else to hold on to. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Agree To A Friends With Benefits RelationshipI get tons of questions from you guys asking if you should become friends with benefits with your ex. The short answer? NO. Absolutely not. A lot of times, the person who was dumped will agree to a FWB relationship because either a) they want to take what they can get, b) they think it will eventually turn back into a real relationship or c) a combination of both reasons. Overall, it's a horrible idea. It's way too difficult to go from a serious, committed relationship to a casual, non-exclusive one. You're going to get hurt. I promise you that. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Jump Into A New Relationship Too QuicklyRebounds happen and while they're not the worst thing in the world, they still aren't a great idea. Basically, you're using someone else to get over your ex, even if you don't realize that's what you're doing. It's messy and it's emotional and you should try to avoid it. Instead of being with someone else in order to move on, try focusing on just yourself. You deserve it! Source: ShutterStock
You'll Badmouth Him To EveryoneA friend of mine recently broke up with her BF and spends all of her time talking crap about him to anyone, seriously anyone, who will listen. Think about it: will calling your ex a stupid jerk with a small penis REALLY make you feel better? In fact, saying bad stuff about your ex kind of makes other people think, "well then why did you date that person at all?" Just because someone dumped you doesn't make them a horrible person. It's fine to vent to your BFFs, but try to keep the nasty comments to yourself. You'll look way more mature if you do. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Try To Get RevengeWhen someone hurts you, your first instinct may be to hurt them back just as badly, if not worse. And while getting revenge might feel good in the moment, it won't feel as great if you get in trouble for it or get caught. Once the thrill wears off, you'll probably feel a little silly. Just move on and show him that you can be the bigger person. Plus, the best revenge ever is ignoring your ex and acting like you're totally fine. Trust me. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Spend Too Much Time AloneA few years ago, an ex dumped me and I proceeded to spend the next few weeks sleeping late, crying in bed and watching movies and TV shows all day long. My friends begged me to come out, but I refused. Yes, a little alone time with your pillow is necessary to feel better, but you shouldn't be pushing away everyone who is trying to help you. Going out with your friends or even just going to their house to hang will make you feel better and take your mind off of things. Once I started leaning on my friends, I started moving on much faster. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Facebook Stalk HimA little Facebook stalking never hurt anybody. But Facebook stalking your new ex? Eh. Not such a great idea. I would really suggest that you delete him as your friend, because being reminded of what he's up to on a constant basis is never going to help you get over him. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Feel Like You'll Never Meet Anyone Else EverAw, girl. I totally feel you on this one because I've so been there. During my last breakup, I told anyone who would listen that I would be single forever. Then what happened? I met someone amazing. You might be on your own for a while, but in the end, you'll find someone else! Your ex was not the last person on this planet. Also, there's nothing wrong with being single for a while! It's good for you. When you feel this down, remind yourself that you're amazing and someone will recognize that one day. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever been dumped? Did you make any of these mistakes? What other breakup mistakes did I miss? Tell me in the comments.