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I know what I’m about to write is going to make a lot of girls angry, but guys… I have to say this. I have to! Here goes: you should break up with your high school boyfriend before you go away to college. Seriously.
Like I said, I realize that a lot of you will probably disagree. And before you say it, yes, I also realize that there are plenty of high school sweetheart relationships that survive long-distance college years. I’m not saying that no one can do it. I’m just saying that I don’t think you should. I think that if you’re about to start your first year of college in a different school far away from your current boyfriend, you guys should skip the year or two of trying to make it work and just go straight to starting off school being single.Â
I know, I know… you don’t want to break up with your boyfriend. You love him, he makes you smile, you think you can do the whole long-distance thing, you’re happy with him. I get it. I was once in your position (I made the wrong choice and regret it more than anything). But trust me on this one – you don’t want to go off to college in a committed relationship. Oh, you don’t trust me? Besides the fact that I have seen countless couples attempt to do this and have never witnessed one of them make it through, I also put together a list of reasons that it won’t work. Because, let’s be honest, it probably won’t… and this is why:
College Should Be About YOU
You know how people say high school is the best four years of your life? They're so wrong. College is. College is an amazing experience, mainly because it's a time of your life where you will learn SO much about yourself. It's a time for you to have fun, mature, figure out what you really want and just do what you want for YOU. It shouldn't be a time spent worrying about what your BF is doing in another state, or fighting with him over the phone, or missing him when you could be out there trying new things. You should be doing you right now, girlfriend. If there is ever a time to be selfish and focus on yourself, college is it. Source: ShutterStockLong-Distance Is Hard & Sometimes Impractical
Of course, there are plenty of couples who make long-distance relationships work. I'm not saying they're impossible, but there's no denying that LDRs are hard work. They get even more difficult when the two people in the LDR are both going through a huge change in their lives. Before you decide to stick it out, really, really think about this. Are you ready to be in a relationship with someone you rarely see? LDRs take a lot of energy and that energy you're spending on maintaining your relationship could be better spent getting good grades and having new experiences. You know what I'm saying? Source: ShutterStockBeing With Him Will Make It Harder To Meet New People
Obviously it's possible to make new friends when you're in a relationship. But let's be real here: it's a little bit more difficult. When you have a BF, you might be more hesitant about going to that big party or hanging with a group of dudes who could be potential friends. You might skip hanging out with friends to make your daily Skype session with him. You might forgo a welcome party because you're feeling bummed about missing your BF. You might miss entire weekends at school because you're visiting your boyfriend. Get what I'm saying? Having a boyfriend is going to make it more difficult to meet new people, plain and simple. You're just not going to be as open. Source: ShutterStockYou'll End Up Feeling A Little Left Out
Like I said, there are going to be times when you don't hang out with other people at school because of boyfriend stuff. And during those times, you're bound to feel a little left out. As I'm sure you all know, feeling left out sucks. Do you really want to miss that amazing party that is going to spark so many inside jokes you won't get to visit your BF at school? Source: ShutterStockYou're Going To Resent Him For Holding You Back
All of that being said, you will eventually probably start resenting your boyfriend for holding you back, even though it probably isn't entirely his fault. Having a boyfriend and being in a long-distance relationship is going to hold you back a little and that's a frustrating feeling. This is why most high school relationships end in college - because one, or both, of the people involved start to feel like they're missing out on the college experience because of their relationship. Why not end things before it gets messy like this? Source: ShutterStockYou'll Both Be Going In Different Directions
You guys are both starting something new and huge: college! You're both living in a new place (maybe), you're both meeting tons of new people, you're both doing different things than you've ever done before. You're probably on completely different paths now. This makes it difficult for your relationship to remain the same because suddenly, you don't have as many things in common anymore. You'll have friends he's never met and vice versa. It can be difficult to stay connected when this happens. Source: ShutterStockBeing With Him Can Totally Change How You Feel About College
I watched this happen to a friend of mine. Her first semester, she LOVED college. She went out a lot, made new friends and had an amazing time. During winter break, she got back with her high school BF and during her second semester, they tried to do the long-distance thing. It didn't work. Her whole second semester, she was miserable and complained about hating school - out of nowhere! She ended up transferring to be closer to him, then they broke up and she regretted her decision. Get what I'm saying? Source: ShutterStockSometimes It's Good To Meet New Guys
There is obviously absolutely nothing wrong with being in a relationship. But you shouldn't tie yourself down to just one person. Sometimes it's good to be single and let yourself flirt with whoever you want and meet new guys. College is the perfect time to do this! Maybe this is a good time for you to branch out and try living the single girl life. If you're meant to be with your HS boyfriend, you guys will get back together. Source: ShutterStockJealousy Is Bound To Happen
Feeling jealous or having a boyfriend who's jealous is the absolute worst. And, trust me, it's going to happen if you guys try to make things work long-distance. Get ready to see new girls who you have never met pop into his life and appear on his Facebook wall or in pictures with him. No matter how much you trust him, this can be a little nerve-wracking. He'll probably feel the same way with you. Do you think you guys have enough trust in each other to get past these hurdles? Source: ShutterStockCollege Is The Perfect Time To Be More Independent
I am NOT saying you can't be independent when you're in a relationship. I know that you absolutely can. What I'm trying to say is that college is the perfect time to learn how to live on your own, without someone to fall back on. Basically, it's a good time to be single and to focus on just yourself, like I said before. Since relationships are about compromise, it's impossible to focus solely on yourself if you stay with him. Source: ShutterStockWould you stay with your BF if you were both going to different colleges? Have you done it before? How did it work out for you? Do you agree or disagree with me? Tell me in the comments.
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