Losing your virginity means something different to everyone. For some girls, it’s a really, really big deal – one of the most important moments of their lives. For other girls, it’s not so serious. And that’s okay, because when it comes to having sex for the first time, everyone’s experience is going to be different.
One thing’s for sure though: everyone is going to make some sort of mistake. I don’t care what you see on TV shows and movies – losing your virginity is not going to be a picture-perfect moment. Yes, it might be romantic and sweet and something to remember, but you will do something wrong at some point. It’s your first time doing something new! What do you expect?! Here are the 10 mistakes you’ll probably make when you lose your virginity – you might not make all of them, but I guarantee you’ll make (or you already made) one of them.
Your Expectations Will Be Way Too HighWhether it's because of Hollywood, stories told by older friends or siblings or just something you came up with in your own head, you probably have certain expectations for the first time you have sex... and they're probably a little bit too high. Chances are, your first time isn't going to be a magical experience complete with fireworks and perfect lingerie and an ideal location. It's probably going to be awkward, confusing and a little bit painful. That's not to say it can't be sweet (it can), but manage your expectations. Don't go into it thinking you're about to experience the best thing of your entire life, because then you'll just get disappointed. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Feel Like You HAVE To Lose ItYou should never, ever, ever feel pressured into having sex (for your first time or any time). You should never feel like you have to lose your virginity because, say, you're going to college or it's prom night or something like that. You should lose your virginity when you feel comfortable and ready. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Try To Act More Experienced Than You AreYou're a virgin - you're not expected to be the most experienced person at sex ever! Yet I still get tons of emails from you guys asking how you can look more experienced the first time you have sex. Look, I get that you want to impress your partner, especially if he/she is not a virgin. But when you try too hard to seem like you know what you're doing, you're not going to enjoy yourself as much because you're going to be worried about what you look or seem like. Instead, be honest about your inexperience. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we've all been a virgin at some point in our lives. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Be Embarrassed To Tell Your Partner What You LikeTelling your partner that you like when he/she touches you there or that you don't like when he/she does that particular thing can seem very scary. I totally get that. It usually takes a while before you can really figure out what you like and vocalize it to the person you're with. But doing that will only make sex better! Don't be afraid to speak up - whether it's your first time or your 100th time. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Psych Yourself OutSometimes before a Big Event, we get so nervous that we end up psyching ourselves out. I do this all the time - I get nervous and the "what if's" start running through my head like crazy. It's enough to make you freak out and panic! Don't do this. It's completely normal to be nervous before you have sex for the first time, but don't let that nervousness ruin what could be a good experience. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Forgo A CondomI know, not everyone does this - but there are a lot of people who do. When it's your first time, you're either not educated enough about birth control or you think that you simply can't get pregnant or contract an STD during your first time - especially if your partner is also having their first time. Don't think that way! You should ALWAYS use a condom. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Feel Guilty About ItAll too often, I get emails from you girls saying things like how much you regret losing your virginity or how guilty you feel for having sex. These emails make me so sad! You should never feel guilty about having sex - there is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality and hooking up and no one should make you feel that way. Even if you lost your virginity in a way that wasn't super ideal to you, don't beat yourself up - it happens. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Feel Weird If Something Awkward HappensDuring your first time, it's almost inevitable for something awkward and weird to happen. If it does, don't let it bring you down! Sex in general is awkward - I mean, think about what it really is. If something weird happens, like you queef or fart or say something embarrassing, just laugh it off and move on. Source: ShutterStock
You'll Feel Self-Conscious About Being NakedA lot of girls feel scared of showing off their naked body when having sex for the first time. It's understandable but also unnecessary. If your partner didn't like the way you looked, they wouldn't be having sex with you! And forget about how your partner feels - you should be happy with your body! Source: ShutterStock
You'll Either Be Way Too Quiet Or Way Too LoudIt's totally normal to not really know how to act when you lose your virginity. Should you go crazy and act like a porn star or should you be a little more low-key? Sometimes girls go to an extreme, like being super quiet because they're nervous or being over-the-top loud because they want to seem fun and sexy. A better idea is to find the perfect balance between the two - no need for dramatic screaming and moaning, but feel free to indulge in a little bit of dirty talk. Source: ShutterStock
Have you lost your virginity yet? Did you make any of these mistakes? Were there any other mistakes I missed? Tell me in the comments!