Feelings of jealousy almost always go hand-in-hand with relationships, no matter how much you trust and love your boo. It happens, especially when your boyfriend has a lot of friends who are girls… and it happens even more when your boyfriend has a best friend who’s a girl.
We get a ton of questions from you guys on a daily basis about boyfriends who have BFFs who are girls. A lot of you are worried about one thing in particular: that he might have a secret crush on her. While it’s totally possible for your boyfriend to have a completely platonic relationship with his girl BFF, it’s also possible that he could be harboring a secret crush on her. But it can be difficult to tell the difference when you’re already feeling jealous and emotional, so that’s where I come in.
I’m not trying to make you guys nervous or freak you out – but if you feel like your boyfriend might be crushing on his best friend, there are some signs you can look out for it. I have personally been in this situation – one of the reasons I broke up with my ex is because he was emotionally cheating on me with his BFF. So, I’ve been there and I know what to watch out for. If you’re in the same sitch, read on to find out if your boyfriend is crushing on this girl… or if their friendship is totally innocent.
He Talks About Her ConstantlyOf course people are going to talk about their best friends once in a while - that's normal. And if this girl is your BF's real BFF, he will definitely bring her name up more than he does with other friends. But it becomes a warning sign when he just won't stop talking about her. When you have a crush on someone, you can somehow manage to bring every single conversation back to that person. If he brings up her name no matter what you two are talking about, that's a good indication that she's on his mind a little too much. Source: ShutterStock
He Doesn't Want You Two Hanging OutIf he's really uncomfortable with the idea of you two becoming friendly, that could be a problem. Usually when a guy is dating a new girl he really likes, he'll be excited to introduce her to his friends, especially his bestie. If he's hiding his girl BFF from you, you have to wonder why. There is really no reason that he wouldn't want you to meet his best friend unless something shady was going on. Source: ShutterStock
He Defends Her To The DeathWe're all a little protective of our friends - that's normal. It's normal if your BF is defending his best friend when she's right and deserves to be defended. What's not normal is when he defends her even when she's blatantly wrong. If he really can't admit that she's done something wrong, it might be because he's placing her on a pedestal and that isn't fair to you. Source: ShutterStock
He ALWAYS Puts Her Before YouJust because you're dating this guy doesn't mean you should expect him to drop everything for you at every moment of the day. I'm not saying that. But since you are his girlfriend, your BF should be putting you first once in a while. If he's always putting his best friend before you, that's not a good sign. He shouldn't be taking her phone calls when you two are on a date or in the middle of a serious conversation. He should be willing to put you before her once in a while. Source: ShutterStock
She Knows Things About Him That You Don't KnowIf your boyfriend is confiding in his best girl friend WAY more than he's confiding in you... warning sign. Of course, she may know more about his past than you if they've known each other for longer, but think of it this way: is she the first one he calls when something good or bad happens, every time? Does he tell her secrets about stuff that he doesn't tell you? Does she always know he's in a bad mood before you do? If it happens constantly, it could mean that's because he'd rather talk to her than you. Source: ShutterStock
He Compares You To Her All The TimeThis is a big one, because your boyfriend should never be comparing you to anyone else. That's rude, not nice and just completely unfair. And usually when that happens, they're comparing you to that person for a reason. If your BF is always like, "Why can't you be more like X" or "X doesn't do that, why do you?" take notice. That could mean he's mentally comparing you guys or he's confused about who he likes more. Source: ShutterStock
He Used To Have A Crush On HerBe careful with this one. It is totally possible that your boyfriend used to like or date this girl, things ended, he moved on and now he's totally over her. I'm not saying that can't happen. But think about your particular situation. If he had some sort of sad, unrequited crush on her for years, that could be a warning sign. If he dated her for a long time and seems to still be holding onto their relationship, you could be a rebound. If he liked her and she rejected him shortly before he met you, he might not be over her yet. Source: ShutterStock
Other People Make CommentsI tend to ignore what other people are saying around me, especially when it's about my relationship - it's none of their business! But if other people, especially his friends or your friends or even are her friends, are always making comments that your BF might be crushing on his best friend, that could be a bad sign. They might know something you don't or it just might be more obvious to everyone outside of the situation. Source: ShutterStock
He Makes You Feel Like The Third WheelWhen you hang out with the two of them, how do you feel? Does he try to include you in their conversations? Does he act affectionate with you? Does he pay equal attention to both of you? Or does he make you feel like a third wheel but giving her all of his attention, talking only about inside jokes and sort of flirting? Of course there are going to be times where you might feel a little out of the loop, but in general, your BF should be trying to include you in their friendship and making you feel welcome - not making you feel like you're intruding. Source: ShutterStock
You Just Have A FeelingI say this all the time, but go with your gut. I don't know your boyfriend. I don't know his best friend. I don't even know you! I can't tell you for sure if your BF is crushing on his girl BFF. But if you really, really feel like he is and some of these signs match up, yet he insists he doesn't have feelings for her... trust your instincts. Gut feelings, especially about stuff like this, are usually true. Source: ShutterStock
Are you dating a guy with a girl best friend? Do you think he likes her? Has a guy ever left you for his best friend? Do you think I’m right? Tell me in the comments.