We get a lot of questions from you girls asking how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. While I don’t want to make you super suspicious or nervous, I do think it’s important to know some of the telltale signs of cheating in order to protect yourself. And, unfortunately, I know these too well – not because I’ve cheated on someone before (I never have) but because I cheated with someone. Ugh, yes, it’s true – I’ve been the other woman and as much as I hate talking about it, it helped me learn a lot about relationships.
For one thing: unless someone is the best liar in the world and has no emotion or feelings of guilt whatsoever, they will give off signs that they’re cheating on you. The signs may be subtle and they may be signs that you want to overlook, but they’ll be there. And usually, you’ll know, but you won’t want to admit it to yourself. Or sometimes you’ll know and it’s almost impossible to prove. The guy I was “dating” who had a girlfriend? She knew he was cheating the whole time, but he was good at it and so he never got caught. Scary, right?
So, here are 10 signs that your boyfriend is cheating on you, brought to you by someone who has seen exactly how a guy acts when he’s cheating on someone. (Note that if your BF is only exhibiting one of these signs, that doesn’t automatically mean he’s a cheater.)
He's Cheated BeforeThe saying is (usually) true: once a cheater, always a cheater. The guy I cheated with had never been in a relationship where he didn't cheat. In fact, he started dating his current GF because he was cheating with her on his ex (this also explains why she was so suspicious). If a guy has cheated before, he knows how to cheat and maybe even get away with it. From there, it's easy to make the mistake twice... or more than twice. Of course, I believe that people can change their ways, but if your BF's history involves a lot of infidelity... be careful. Source: ShutterStock
He's Really Weird With His PhoneIf your BF never lets you even glance at his phone or be anywhere near it, there may be a problem. I'm not saying he has to show it to you all the time (he deserves some privacy!), but if he's super, super protective of his phone, that's a sign that something weird is going on. Some examples: he constantly deletes every text he gets, he gets texts or calls at weird times that he ignores, he's constantly texting people you don't know, he goes crazy trying to grab it whenever it goes off, etc. The guy I cheated with would only let me call him at certain times and refused to text. Source: ShutterStock
You Find EvidenceI know this sounds super obvious (if you find evidence that he's cheating, you'd KNOW, right?), but seriously: if you find evidence that he's cheating, don't let him talk you out of believing it. The guy I cheated with had my number written down and his GF found it. Another time, she found something of mine in his car. Both times, he talked himself out of it like the slimey, smooth loser he was. And both times, she (sort of) believed him. If you find another girl's number in your BF's phone or weird FB messages or receipts from a dinner you didn't go to, don't believe his excuses. Do your own research before you ask him. Source: ShutterStock
He Has Weird Mood Swings With YouIf your dude is hot and cold with you, there may be something going on. Sometimes he might be super, super sweet, telling you how great you are, accepting all of your apologies, buying you gifts for no reason. And other times, he might be super distant and angry. He might seem like he doesn't want to be near you or he might yell at you for little things. All of this is about one thing: guilt. Lots of guilt. Source: ShutterStock
He Starts Getting Really Jealous and PossessiveIt sounds weird, but it's true. Sometimes when people cheat, they start to get really jealous of the partner they're cheating on because they're projecting their feelings of guilt. Being guilty can make you act super weird! If he was never jealous before and now he starts demanding to know who you're talking to, what you're doing and who you're going to be with, you may have to wonder why. The guy I cheated with was even very jealous of ME, flipping out on me if I flirted with another dude (even though it was completely hypocritical). Now I see that he was just feeling guilty. Source: ShutterStock
He's Not As Interested In Hooking UpDudes love hooking up and having sex and all that good stuff, but there's only so much they can do it. So if your guy suddenly seems like he's not really into getting down and dirty, you have to wonder what's going on. Of course, sometimes people just don't feel like hooking up, but if he's playing that card all the time, it might be because he's getting busy with someone else. Source: ShutterStock
He Lies About Other StuffThe dude I cheated with was maybe the best liar I have ever met in my entire life. He had a perfectly crafted excuse for everything before you even asked it. He was smooth, manipulative and knew all the right things to say to make you believe him. I watched him lie to everyone we worked with on a daily basis and witnessed him effortlessly lie to his girlfriend multiple times. If your BF has lied to you about other stuff, he obviously doesn't have a problem doing it. And that's a bad sign. Source: ShutterStock
He Isn't Around As OftenIf your BF is spending time with another girl, he's obviously going to spend less time with you. It's inevitable. If he was once available all the time and is now MIA way more often than not, look into what he's doing. He'll probably be constantly coming up with different excuses that sound legit - the guy I cheated with had tons of 'em - but after a while, it's like, what are you really doing? Source: ShutterStock
He Seems Stressed Out Or Anxious A LotWhen someone is cheating on their partner, they're probably going to be pretty stressed out. I would imagine that cheating is really hard! You're constantly worried about getting caught or doing something wrong. The guy I cheated with would randomly get in SUCH a bad mood at work (we worked together) and would flip out on people for no reason. Sometimes when I would try to talk to him, he didn't even have the energy. That's because all of his energy was going into deceiving his girlfriend. Source: ShutterStock
You Just Have A FeelingSometimes, no matter how much your boyfriend denies it, you just know that he's cheating. You just have a feeling. And as I always say, you should listen to your gut. The girlfriend of the guy I cheated with was constantly suspicious that her BF was cheating, even though she didn't have any proof, and guess what? She was right! Sometimes you need to ignore his cries of protest and just pay attention to what your heart is telling you. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever cheated with anyone? Have you ever been cheated on or cheated on someone? What signs did I miss? Tell me in the comments.