What Is Emotional Cheating? I Can Tell You, Because My Ex-Boyfriend Did It

The Huffington Post recently conducted a survey about emotional cheating that caught my eye. They asked 1,000 U.S. adults if they considered emotional cheating to be actual cheating. What did they find? 60 percent of those surveyed said that if their partner “developed a deep emotional connection with someone else, it would be considered cheating,” while 18 percent said they wouldn’t consider it cheating.

I’d like to talk to those 18 percent who don’t consider emotional cheating “real” cheating because, um, I think they’re wrong. Really, really wrong. Emotional cheating is totally “real” cheating and I know this because unfortunately, it happened to me.

What is emotional cheating? We’ve already given you guys the signs of it, but emotional cheating is when your significant other develops a serious connection with someone else. It’s basically cheating without doing any of the physical stuff, like sex or making out.

For some people, emotional cheating is considered even worse than all of that physical stuff. Sex is sex and for a lot of people, it can be purely physical – it’s just about giving into temptation and feeling good. But emotional cheating goes beyond just sex. Emotional cheating is about creating a real connection with someone else. Your partner is no longer turning to you to talk about their day, get an opinion on something, reveal their secret dreams. They’re going to someone else for that. That kind of connection is much more deep than just wanting to bone someone and it really, really hurts.

Does it hurt worse than physical cheating? I don’t know, because as far as I know, I’ve never been cheated on in the physical sense. But I do know that emotional cheating was bad enough to make me end an almost five-year relationship. So, here’s a little story for all of you who aren’t convinced that emotional cheating stinks.

couple fighting

We were always fighting and he was always saying he was doing nothing wrong. | Source: ShutterStock

When I first started dating my ex, D, we quickly became best friends – he was my world. I told D everything, things I had never told anyone else and he did the same with me. We could easily talk on the phone for hours because we never ran out of anything to say. I was never bored when I was with him and I had never felt closer to anyone else in my life.

But, like I said, that was the beginning. After about a year, D became good friends with a girl he worked with named Jackie. I was jealous at first, but then I got over it. D had always been very friendly and outgoing – he was just one of those guys everyone enjoyed being friends with. I figured it couldn’t hurt if he had a friend who was a chick. But after a while, their friendship got more than a little annoying. D brought up Jackie’s name constantly. He told me that he talked to her about personal things and one day he said something about how he was glad he had another best friend.

We started arguing about Jackie all the time and I was always worried that he was (physically) cheating on me with her, but he promised me he wasn’t. Eventually, Jackie moved away and the problem disappeared on it’s own. But that definitely wasn’t the last time it happened.

A few months later, D became super, super close with a girl named Jenn. I became BFF with her and we all started hanging out. After a little while, though, Jenn got even closer to D. They hung out on their own and had all of these little inside jokes. Whenever I was alone with Jenn, she brought D up constantly.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out that Jenn had a little crush on D. D laughed it off, so I stayed friendly with her… until Jenn started actively trying to break us up and even started flirting with D and saying incredibly inappropriate things to him. I finally ended my friendship with Jenn and basically forced D to end his. But for a while, I truly thought that she would be the one to break us up.

sad girl

I’m so glad I finally ended things. | Source: ShutterStock

This happened a few more times with different, random girls who would enter my boyfriend’s life, become his best friend, develop a crush on him and then suddenly disappear. I spent most of my time feeling jealous and scared that he was physically cheating. I thought it was wrong of him to develop these friendships, but he said he wasn’t doing anything wrong and I guess I wanted to believe it.

Our relationship didn’t end until D met a girl named Tina when we were in college. Just like the situation with Jenn, Tina became my BFF too. We hung out with her almost every day and she was a central part of our lives. Things started getting shady when I would call D, only to have him tell me he’d call me back because he was on the phone with Tina. They posted pictures of each other online like they were dating, talked about how they were best friends and practically soulmates and basically made me look like a complete idiot. Tina obviously had a huge crush on D. One day, I finally had enough and I broke up with D. It was the best decision I made throughout that entire relationship.

To this day, D insists he never physically cheated on me. That doesn’t matter to me though, because he emotionally cheated, multiple times. He never seemed to think he was doing anything wrong (according to the HuffPo survey, people are less likely to consider emotional cheating cheating if they’re the ones doing it) and so he never apologized. A few months after we broke up, a friend asked me if he had ever cheated. I considered the question, then responded yes. Because he did cheat – he ignored me for these other girls who he made fall in love with him, all while keeping me around and making me feel like I was the one who was acting the wrong way.

The point is, emotional cheating sucks. Of course I support the idea that your partner can have other friends besides you during a relationship, but I don’t think your partner should be developing that sort of close connection with another girl while he’s dating you. It’s obviously okay to have best friends, but when you start treating them as your girlfriend, that’s not okay. Keep an eye out for this behavior – you shouldn’t have to put up with it like I did.

Have you ever emotionally cheated? Have you ever been emotionally cheated on? Do you think it’s real cheating? Why or why not? Tell me in the comments.

 

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  • Jessica Cook

    No one deserves to be cheated on, especially when your fully loyalty lies with the betrayer of your trust. initially, I thought I was just feeling insecure when my husband would just be on his phone at odd hours, until I decided to take my chances to know, knowing is much better than self doubts and its exactly what happened when I requested for the service of one of the best hacker ; nullantrax2017 AT outlook DOT com to help me check her phone. Now i know when he tells the truth because I receive all his calls, outgoing and incoming, see his whatsapp messages, facebooks, emails. I think its the best way to justify his loyalty and I found out that instead of guessing, right now I have access to his phone remotely anything that goes in and out of his phone is exactly what goes in and out of my phone. I see everything,i hear everything

  • Zhang Hoi Shan

    Same here, Just caught him chatted with a girl he met in a bar last month but he kept denying they have any connection, and said he didn’t even see her after that and what he typed out was all because he felt pity on her live. But clearly she texted him with I Love u, babe. And he said I love you. I don’t care how many tragedy she had in her live, there was boundary for that. Also I felt betrayed by my boyfriend, because he said she made him felt loved and special but insisted he didn’t cheat on me as they never hang out.

  • Pam Buckner

    I found lists of girls in all of his social media sites….he tells me he will delete the sites, but he Refuse To Delete the girl….I don’t even know where to start. He makes me feel wrong because he wants to talk to this girl he said he knee since middle school but…..I thought to myself, what about me? He said she’s like a sister to him, which means they have a lot more to talk about. He treats her more like a girlfriend than he treats me…….and my eyes are opening now but tears are falling out…..I don’t wanna be here no more. I feel like nothing. Like an object. I want out. And I really do believe I’m about to make it happen myself.

  • Damaris Sanrawi

    I van relate and it is just sad that mostly men dont see this as cheating

  • Joe

    So I have a scenario to throw out there, I guess in my shoes it helps me reading about everyone else’s so I’ll share mine.

    I was dating a woman, we broke up 2 weeks ago. We were dating for just about a year and something happened. So we’re handling a long distance relationship which was great for me. It probably wasn’t the best for her because she had some trust issues with me, considering my past and what she knows about (which is everything). But I always did my best in comforting her if she ever felt discomfort. Always texting her while I was out, calling her all the time during the day. I was making the effort and it was evident. But I had a rather weird experience happen, In one of my classes I had met a group of exchange students from Europe. They all happened to have the same nationality as mine, I am always intrigued by people from different countries. But this was different because we shared the same nationality. So me as a North American had met some people from my cultural background. I loved it!

    Nonetheless, there was one girl in the group. For some reason we had a great connection, I don’t know if it was because she had boyfriend too in her home country and she was in NA on exchange for a short period. But we hit it off rather well, and eventually things progressed and we would exchange messages on social media. I started things off but It only started when comparing homework assignments. Eventually leading to other things, we would always talk for a little bit before and after class and it was nice! I did get out of control at some points saying somethings that I shouldn’t have like throwing in a comment about her being cute or asking her to come say hi while I was on campus. Eventually she started sending me messages everyday, I was silly enough to go along with it. Having that bad feeling about it was present but I mistakenly justified it for being okay because she was leaving in a month and she also had a boyfriend. I never had any intentions on physically cheating on my girlfriend but I couldn’t help but enjoy talking to this girl. To me it was seemingly harmless. I had obviously deleted the messages which was a red flag but I ignored it because of my justification.

    One weekend I was visiting my girlfriend for the second weekend in a row because I was so busy the first couple of months at school being involved in sports. She had gone through my phone to see some messages I had left in a different social media app. This as you can imagine blew up and ever since that day I’ve been blocked in all forms of contact. To give you a better idea, my girlfriend is something of the rare type. She has the best morals you can imagine and in my eyes she is the only person I’ve ever met who is like that. I was lucky enough to date her after a previous mistake I had made before we started our relationship. Stuff as a human that I wasn’t too familiar with before I had met her but she completely changed me as a person in terms of who I want to be. I am learning to model myself after her and I idolize her for it.

    I was emotionally cheating on my girlfriend. A part of me couldn’t control those feelings but I could control whether it progressed or not and that’s where I made my mistake. I never intending on hurting my girlfriend. I did some serious damage and as expected I am suffering for it. I have learned from the mistake and would never wish this feeling on anyone, as it was my first time ever feeling like this.

    I took pride in the man I was becoming because of her, we had the best relationship and everyone around us saw it. People undoubtedly wanted to be us. But I threw it all away because I made a lousy mistake… Currently I’ve been able to control the emotions to a degree because moving forward I still want to be that man.

    If anyone has any comments or input for me, don’t hesitate. As a positive person, I am lead to believe that there is a possibility that we could be together again one day. I know what Im up against and I am ready to take on this challenge.

    I believe I am a good person and I am always trying to better myself. But as a human we make mistakes. Sometimes you need to suffer for your mistakes so you can truly learn from them.

    • 애정

      Your girlfriend deserves a better man

  • The Nelson’s Family

    Some people will say its not right some people will say its improper,some people will give their verdict on you even without knowing the full history/story about someone.I will give you hint of my life and how it has changed.
    Are you having problems with your lover ? Depressed?I have been in same situation with the father of my kids and was worried when he was seeing another lady outside our wedlock. With my depression and anger, i went online to search for solutions when i stormed across a testimony regarding my own problems at home, i contacted this great man, who confined and guaranteed me that i will be reunited with my husband with 48hrs of his prayer section, Behold, My husband came home after 2days, apologizing to me and the kids for his negligence and uncaring attitude towards us, He has been the perfect man i have married 15years ago, he has an unending love for his family and i have been his pet and major priority everyday.Get to know this great prophet today for solution to your problems : spirituallove @ hotmail com

    • Susan Johnson

      Uh, yeah, and this isn’t an advertisement for your spirituallove group? Huh.

  • Bex

    I’ve been emotionally cheated on, twice, by the same partner, and they did it with the same person. We are no longer dating. They’re in total denial about this time around, either that or they think that denying it is going to hurt me less. It’s not that I begrudge them a happy life with a person that makes them happy, but I don’t appreciate the lack of respect, especially after I gave them my heart and soul. We had other issues; cheating is usually the symptom of a problem, not the other way around, however, I would never have done this to them. Try talking to me, and addressing the issues at hand before jumping ship, straight into the heart/arms of another person.

  • UGADawg09

    My girlfriend is emotionally cheating on me right now, and I have no idea what to do, because I found out when I made the mistake of snooping. I never had trust issues, but she was creating suspicions and I had to know. We’ve been together for a year, and it has truly been an incredible relationship; I’ve never been closer with anyone in my life, and have never seen a future with anyone else. She’s a senior in college, and there’s a little freshman guy whom she’s only known for a couple of months. She works with him a couple of days a week at her campus job. Ever since she met him, she’s been saying “he’s so cute! I just love him!” And I assumed it was just a “what a cute kid” type deal. However, I saw her text messages with him where he repeatedly tells her that he has a “crush” on her, and she never tells him off or tells him it’s inappropriate. He has even said sexual things to her. But all that pales in comparison to the fact that 1) she has been telling him all the details of our most private and intimate relationship conflicts, and 2) she has been badmouthing me to him.

    I’m hesitant to end this because no one on earth knows me like she does, and vice-versa. We’ve developed something incredible in the last year. It feels like we’ve known each other for decades. It’s just a scary idea to throw this away.

    I guess ignorance really is bliss, because I honestly wish I didn’t know. I’m spending three weeks with her and her family for the holidays, and I hate that I can’t look at her right now without thinking of this betrayal. Paranoid, horrifying thoughts keep going through my brain. What if it’s more than emotional?

    Any advice?

    • Celestial119

      I would break up with her not because of the crush but because of reasons #1 & 2 you mentioned. If she is not happy in your relationship and with you, she should end it, not badmouth you or discuss problems in your relationship with just anyone, other than with you or a therapist.

  • lisarombach

    I was living with my boyfriend for almost 6 months off and on (he was verbally and physically abusive) and when he came home from work one night I was wearing a short skirt and obviously no undies for him. House immaculate, dinner on the stove. And what does he do? He starts talking to me about dog treats and then immediately, he wants to go to the female neighbors to look at her garage door she damaged driving into it. He helped all the neighbors but lately he was helping her with everything. Her husband is only home one week a month. We had just talked the night or two before about his “relationship” with this neighbor and anyone could tell that I was insecure about it. So the garage door shuts and he doesn’t come back for a while. When he does come back he is mad that I’m mad,slaps me around and that was that. I was just as upset about the cheating, emotional or not, as I was about the slap down. What is wrong with people?

  • Confused person

    Hello so I completly agree that emotionally cheating is cheating!! I am currently going through a situation that has broken me up inside and please if you have any advice or comments on my decision I would appreciate it.

    So I have been with my bf for 5 years now. We have been high school sweethearts and have know each other for 10 years. My bf has always been loyal and has treated me like a queen. We recently moved in together and I don’t know if it was the wrong decision. So basically there is this girl that moved into our complex a couple of months ago. I had never spoken to her, but apparently she asked my bf for help with some boxes ( to what he has told me). Then she seemed have flirted with him and it stired something in him. Well just recently we had a conflict with this girl because her bf and her came to our apartment about a parking spot. By the end of the argument she told me that she had a problem with my bf. The bf said the same. I was completly confused so she brought me two letters that my bf had wrote to her. I completly broke down when I saw these and when I asked her If she confronted him she acted nervous and said that she told him to stop. Well after I confronted my bf he completly lied to me and said it wasn’t him. Well in my heart I knew it was him. I went to my therapist with him and he completly lied to her as well. Eventually he got in the car and admitted what he had done. I completly broke into a million pieces. He never did anything with her and when I asked if she would have come into my apartment would he have done something, he claims he would never physically cheat. Right know I am in a state of pain and find myself dwelling on this. The worst part is that they constantly pass by my balcony. My bf has asked me to please not leave that he did something stupid that it wasn’t him at that moment but I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m slowly dying inside. He has been trying to show me extra attention and constantly complementing me but it hurst because in one of the letters he called this girl beautiful. To me that word was sacred now it’s nothing. What should I do? I am still here with him but I am hurting and he knows that. He wants us to keep strong but I don’t know how strong I can be!

  • Swati

    Exactly my story. I have even forwarded it to my ex. He emotionally cheated on me with my best friend. Now I have kicked both of them out of my life and never gonna accept them back. He was always texting her. Even ignored me for her. Shared personal stories with her. Sought advices from her on personal matters. Always on phone with her. Updating fb and WhatsApp statuses for each other. Met each other without my information. And when I questioned this.. Both of them blamed me as possessive and doubt taker.. He used to sidetrack him self from the group of his friends to chat with her. Lied to me for her. And she also gave him lot of scope. Me n my bf used to quarrel almost evrryday.. But still he used to approach her to talk.. Both of them very well knew that it is hurting my feelings but did not care n still kept on doing what they were doing and still doing it. Now I don’t talk to them. One day I texted both of them that I am against of whatever you both are doing and I do not wish to keep any kind of contact with them and left their life forever. And they at the end proved that they are selfish and loose characters .. It did not make even a pinch of difference in their life and both still talk to each other as if nothing has happened. They always insist on keeping their friendship as a secret. All his friends have doubt that they both have some thing going on. And the worst part is she has a bf from 10 years. And he refused to give me commitment bcz his family is against love marriages and caste discriminatores. Both of them turned out to be selfish , and manipulators .. Both of them were so much imp person of my life.. But at they showed what they are. Now am trying to heal , trying to come out of this hurt. And trying to remove the dirt out of my life.

  • Clara

    Im trying to figure out if my boyfriend is emotionally cheating. I used to always go through his phone when we have first gotten together but never found anything so it prompted him to put a lock on his phone but i would randomly argue. But lately we’ve been arguing quite a bit and this girl he knew moved to our neighborhood and would randomly start conversation with him on facebook even though they’re not friends. But one day i found out the passcode to his phone and saw that they were messaging alot. Then i saw that she was asking him for pictures and and she would say things like “smexy” to him. I never knew how to confront him so one day i asked if he was cheating and what’s the deal with her and he said nothing and he asked me to trust him and said if she showed interest don’t you think i would tell her no? But he didnt and it went as far as him continuing to talk to her and at one point he called her “gawgeous” but i can’t tell him i know anything because he doesnt know i know the passcode. Then finally things came sorta up and i told him it hurt my feelings that hestill talked to her and he said he would stop but he just got a new phone which requires a thumbprint to get into and i dont know how check now. And he gets angry over everything because he says now i question everything he does and i dont have any proof he did anything so i need to drop it. What do you think i should do?

    • Kimberley Merritt Loyd

      Girl id tell him since it doesn’t matter anyway because you can no longer look even if you wanted since its a thumb print lock. That you do have proof enough you had figured his past code out and tell him what you saw advise again for him to quit talking to her and tell him if he doesn’t then you two aren’t going to work. Id also suggest to take off the code that just proves hes hiding things. Also it depends on how serious yall’s relationship is together. If you’d like more advice on this and need to chat more email me at kimberleyaydlett22@yahoo.com i can help with advice and it won’t cost you a dime. I just like to help and this situation seems like something I could help shed some light on.

  • Mandy R.

    Emotional cheating is definitely cheating. I’ve witnessed it several times with friends and I have to admit, I have done it once too. When I realized it, I immediately broke up with my boyfriend at the time. I am now in a relationship with another man, we have a baby together. Things happened in the beginning and he ended things with me for about a month. I was so sad. I tried to forget him by going out with friends and stuff like that. I ended up sleeping with someone while we were apart. I was single, no big deal. Well he blew up on me. Made me feel terrible for a year. He swore up and down nothing was ever going on with a,l these girls and they were just friends. I found out, the day after my uncle passed away,chat these weren’t just friends. He was trying to start relationships with these women! He had lied to me for 2 years. Since day 1!! And he gave me hell because I did something when I was single. He felt guilty and blame shifted. I am crushed. I don’t know what to do. I feel I owe it to my daughter to try and work things out with him but he keeps slipping up. And it may seem like the littlest things he does to mess up, but they’re important to me. If I ant trust you with small things , how can I trust you with my heart again?

  • gina

    I need some advise,my bf of almost 4yrs,has been on fb on an off for 3yrs to women,saying ur cute,or lets go out,the most recent was 8mths ago an was saying add me ur cute, says he stopped, what should i do,an he ude to look at porn but says no more,my trust is gone tho, help me

    • Kimberley Merritt Loyd

      What kind of advice are you looking for? Are you still with him? Fb if you’d like and we can chat.

  • Sandy

    My husband emotionally cheated on me check out my story. Just read a little. He had women he knows naked pics on computer.

    gofundme.com/j1qrbc

    • UGADawg09

      You had a bad relationship, so you’re asking for people to send you money? What?

  • Carrie

    My recent boyfriend was messaging my old friend from high school. So one morning she messaged me and he was with me cause we spent every night together the past month pretty much she showed me messages frpm him talking sexual to her while we were dating. This happened October 3rd and I just found out abut 2 days ago. So like you said, emotional cheating does suck and it really hurts.

  • StartinOva

    I also consider emotional cheating to be worst them physical cheating. And it’s what caused me to end my near 2 year relationship with my now ex boyfriend. I discovered he was emotionally cheating on me with another mans wife, referred to her as his “slim Venus” was begging her to come see him, sexting her, saying he loves her, misses her etc. He was also sexting other women, some were strippers telling them he misses them and wants to see them, calling them beautiful, sexy etc. I wasted No time telling him how much of an Fing liar he was and told him that I asked him numerous times if he was cheating and he kept saying no that he was so convincing he had me dumb enough to believe I was being paranoid and apologizing for even thinking he was cheating. I wanted him to apologize and show some kind of remorse but like a lot of people he doesn’t consider what he did cheating and said I was being petty. All he keeps pointing out is that he didn’t F any other woman while he was with me. And no matter how many times I tell him that’s what makes it worst especially with the married woman(because most of his messages to her were more romantic and loving, he told her things like “do what u gotta do to make us happen”, “your husband’s a fool” I love you” “good morning beautiful etc”) it means you have strong feelings for her and that hurts me more then you physically cheating on me. The rest of the females it was sexting more then anything. I told him “the time you invested in another man’s wife you could’ve invested in your own relationship” and that he was dumb enough to lose a sure thing with a loyal, honest, faithful, respectful woman for a woman that has shown she’s disloyal, unfaithful and playing him since 2011 that she’s trying to hold her marriage together while having him on the side incase it doesn’t work and he’s dumb enough to be the guy on the side. I also told him you not only played me you were playing the others before me that you had believing you was a good faithful man but you weren’t. He has yet to apologize, in fact the last thing he said to me a week after our breakup was “he moved the F on. That I wanted to find out things and I found them out so get over it, good bye and good riddance” to which I replied of course you already moved on you had side chicks, I was only with you so it’s going to take me longer to move on because unlike you my feelings for you was real, I honestly did love you and wanted to be with you, but you obviously don’t know the true meaning of love, loyalty, and respect. So F.U and your good riddance because if you didn’t want to be with me you should’ve just been a man and said that not string me along for your own selfish purpose while secretly wishing a married woman would leave her husband. Then he said “I keep telling you I never F her or anyone else”. I told him he was to selfish and coldhearted to see the wrong he’s done and that I’m tired of trying to get him to see it, told him I’m hurt at the moment but it’ll get better for me, then I reminded him that he was the one that told mentioned a future with me first, even told me to get the size of my ring finger and that he said he knows I’m his soulmate or the right one for him because when he had nothing I still wanted to be with him that other females want him because they heard about his sex from friends of theirs or because he finally landed a real good job that pays well. And then told him karmas a bitch and when it comes back around don’t start thinking about the one woman that wanted him for him, not his money, the sex, his looks or any of that superficial stuff, that I just wanted him for the man I thought he was. And told him take care bye. Sometimes I have a rush of emotions and I’m tempted to call him and want to talk to him try to “fix” this, but then I realize it can’t be fixed from the beginning of our relationship he’s been lying and my trust for him is completely broken, then I blame myself what did I or didn’t I do but I realize it has nothing to do with me, I even asked him that and he couldn’t answer. The fact that he throws I love you around like it’s nothing makes me believe he wasn’t sincere with me although he claims he was and never wanted to break up with me but couldn’t explain why he did what he did. Also I think about the kind of woman I’d become and don’t want to be that type of woman, the kind that starts to wonder if everytime his phone ring is it another woman, if he’s away from me is he with another woman, is he texting/sexting another woman etc. I don’t want to become insecure or paranoid and the fact that he lied to me will make me think he’s always lying to me. So I’m working on me and moving on, something tells me that over time he’s going to comeback, but I’m smart enough to know I’m a good woman and I deserve so much better than a lying, cheating man that not only disrespected and disregarded me and what I thought was our relationship but disrespected a marriage as well.
    We got together in Jan 2013 and broke up in Sept 2014. We also had a 9 month fwb in 2009 from Jan-Oct, that ended because I wanted more but he said he wasn’t ready to be official because he was barely making ends meets and couldn’t take care of himself and his daughter so he so he didn’t want a relationship yet. And in Jan of 2013 we reconnected, and became official in May of the same year, he asked me to be official with him.

    • StartinOva

      I forgot to mention the day I found out he was emotionally cheating on me aside from telling him he was an Fing liar, I dumped him as well told him to go F himself, slammed his door really hard and drove off. I was waaayyy beyond mad, which turned into hurt and feelings of betrayal, and I cried for a week straight. But I’m starting to do better, I know that it’s not my fault he did what he did, he made the conscious decision to do what he did, even when I was begging him to open up to me, spend time with me, leaving him alone when he was with his friends, trusting him. He chose to risk losing me and it’s a risk he lost.

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  • Emerald

    Many wont admit to it, but im willing to. I have emotionally cheated on my boyfriend.
    The story begins kind of complicated. When Leon* and I started seeong each other, he has just broken up with his former girlfriend and i could tell he was still messed up from the relationship prior to that. We couldnt be together because of an inevitable issue.
    The boy i emotionally cheated on Leon with had told him he was interested in me before leon and i started seeing each other, so in a way, leon stole the girl.
    While leon and i werent officially together, he was still seeing other girls even thpugh he loved me. Im the time the other guy, started emotionally supporting me through it. (minor detail: he started seeing my friend after leon and i became involved
    The other guy was leons best friend who was dating my best friend.)
    Anyway, leon and i eventually overcame the “inevitable issue” and started officially dating.
    But i still got these feelings with the other guy, we’ll call him Spin*.
    Even though leon was the guy i wanted to spend my future and life with. Spin was the guy i felt like i could tell him everything going on, and he just got it. He wasnt even necessarily charming, he was just a little bit more open and fun than leon. He made me laugh, leon made me feel passion. He could be mischievous with me, but leon was always honest and true.
    All though nothing physical ever came of it, which i never wanted or needed, it was heart breaking to my true love. It can be dangerous because some people will be easily prevoked when alone. Its dangerous because people who cheat think of it as “a forbidden love” i was never daring enough or heartless to want those things though.